Act Like a Dominatrix
A dominatrix is a female who takes the dominant role in a bondage and discipline, sadism and masochism (BDSM) relationship. While some women become dominatrixes and work with clients professionally, you may just want to role play being a dominatrix for fun, perhaps to act out a hot scene that they have seen in a porn movie or to emulate the behaviors associated with a BDSM relationship. If you want to act out that fantasy role for you and your partner's mutual pleasure, knowing how to act like a domme will help you stay "on top" of the situation. Proper behavior, communication, and procedure is incredibly crucial not only in fostering a nurturing relationship, but also avoiding any physical or psychological trauma in either party.
Contents
Steps
Looking Like a Dominatrix
- Get the right clothes. A full-bodied (often black) catsuit is a mainstay of fetish and bondage culture. There's a difference between a dominant lifestyle and fetishism, but the skintight black bodysuit remains an iconic garment in both communities. Make sure your suit is made from leather, or rubber latex. This is much more suited to use in the bedroom (or otherwise) than day to day use. Find some sexy, designer dresses. Make sure they suit you, and fit you well.
- Invest in some good high heels, such as thigh-high stiletto boots. Like the catsuit, these boots represent dominatrix attire to mainstream culture. Platform boots can also be worn. Try Christian Louboutin heels; the red sole reflects your secret, sexual nature.
- Wear a corset. A corset is a close-fitting undergarment (often worn as outerwear) that helps shape (and hold) your body. A bondage corset has become a staple in fetish wear. A bustier can also be worn as an alternative.
- Other accoutrements associated with being a domina, include:
- Fishnet stockings or garter stockings.
- Gloves; try finger-less or elbow length.
- A whip or riding crop.
Acting Like a Dominatrix
- Be confident. How can you dominate someone if you can't assert yourself? Focus on the fact that you are in charge.
- Have a plan. There's a big role-playing component with being a dominatrix. Be creative.
- Be flexible to your partner's needs. A dominatrix must be well versed in common BDSM practices.
- A pro-dominatrix may choose to have little or no sexual contact with her clients. However many do offer a full range of sexual services for their clients. Regardless of this she holds her submissive clients power in her hands - with mutual consent - and if she has sexual contact with a client she remains in complete control of what is happening.
- Train to use a whip or a riding crop correctly. It requires some exercise to use it the right way where it gives the desired level of pain and burning red stripes on the skin of your client - but no wounds. Don't use too much power.
- Hold yourself correctly. Remember; you hold all of the power; maintain good posture and carry yourself up right at all times. This lets people know subconsciously that you are in charge.
- Keep in mind that it is not the clothes that make a domme. Rather it is her self confidence, self awareness, and ability to control the conversation. The women in tight revealing clothes is more an image that can bring out the wrong behaviors in male, as it can simply reinforce that it is all about him. Instead, make it clear that it is all about you and your pleasures and amusements.
- Also keep in mind that becoming a dominatrix takes other skills. Some of which are interpersonal and customer service oriented. Proper money management and perhaps marketing. Also like most self employed people you may go through phases of little to no business. In other words if money is the only reason you'd like to become a dominatrix you may want to save up an actual nest egg to venture into it.
Tips
- Props and toys are a big part of the dominatrix world. If you're unsure what to purchase, visit your friendly neighborhood sex shop for some ideas.
- Make sure to clean all toys properly after play.
- If you use latex rubber clothes remember also to buy what is required to maintain the garments in good condition. That includes dressing aid, shining spray, disinfection and silicone oil for washing after use.
- Respect your partner's requirement for discretion.
- Always agree with your partner what is going to happen in your roleplay, before starting - and make sure to deliver what has been agreed.
Warnings
- Don't rely on media stereotypes to inform your attitudes concerning female dominants.
- Do not become abusive to your spouse.
- Much dominatrix wear is made from PVC (polyvinyl chloride). This is a toxic plastic! Try to avoid this material. PVC clothes are also less durable than clothes made of latex rubber or leather.
- If you have a dream to become a professional dominatrix make sure you have considered the cons too before you take the final decision - and ask yourself if you are 100 % ready to take the step.
