Another advice to college students
A first year college student wrote to me: “Few years ago, my brother went to college but when he came back, he changed. He was no longer kind and polite anymore but often angry at everything. He learned bad habit such as drinking and smoking and demanded my parents to buy him mobile phone and laptop even my family is poor. After graduated, he left for a job in another city, he never came back to visit my parents or support our family. This year I am going to college but I do not want to be like my brother. What advice would you give a young student who is going to college?”
Answer: When people grow up, they change. Sometime they change at home, sometime they change at school. Changes are part of maturity. Some changes are influenced by external factors such as friends, movies, fashions, etc. Some come from internal factors such as understanding, empathy and responsibility. Some changes are good and some are not but we all change. Go to college is a special experience where young people are exposed to many things, good and bad. It is up to the maturity of the person that they can resist some temptations or succumb to them. It is up to the person to set direction and career goals to achieve or floating with the flow of whatever comes their way. It is up to the person to determine what to learn when they experience new things then adjust their behavior accordingly. It is up to the person to control their destiny or let external things control them.
Since you are conscious about what has happened to your brother, I think you will not be like him. You seem to care about your parents and that is something very precious. To me filial is the first responsibility that people learn when they are young. Only by being responsible to their family then they learn to be responsible for themselves. When they are responsible to themselves then they will be responsible to their society and their country. Everything starts with the fundamental of being responsible to your parents and that is the beginning of the maturity process. I have written several articles advising college students about selecting field of study and set career direction already but since you asked, I have another advice on being responsible to yourself.
As a first year student, you must learn to take care of yourself. Make sure you get enough sleep and rest. You need to be healthy to succeed in college and later in life. Many college students do not pay attention to their health and waste a lot of time in unhealthy habit such as smoking, drinking or even using illegal drugs. To some it is a “Fashionable” thing but they do not fully know the consequences until something happens to them. If you are not responsible to your own body then who will? Only by maintain your physical health then you can nurture your spirit. Having a strong spirit will help you to overcome obstacles and achieve your education goals in school and career goals in the future. I often advise students to keep good exercise habit such as walking, swimming or play sports (ping pong, badminton, soccer etc.). Besides that, it is good if they could spend some time each day in solitude so they can focus their mind without being bothered by other unnecessary noises. Library is usually a good place to focus and rest. A quiet walk in a garden would be excellent. Only by having strong spirit that you can overcome sudden distress or fears.
As part of growing up, some students often compare themselves with others, in that case they may become vain if there are people who are less than themselves or bitter if there is someone who are better. These are unnecessary things that may bother your spirit. You must focus on enjoying your own achievement and keep interested in your own career. In college you will meet a lot of people. You must treat everyone with respect, and learn to listen to them. Listening is a skill that most young people do not have, it is good to start develop that skill now as it will be a precious gift for you in your life. Kindness goes a long ways. Turn compassion into action. Helping others and being amiable.
Sources
- Blogs of Prof. John Vu, Carnegie Mellon University
