Be Truthful to Your Partner
You may feel like not telling them something is for the best. What they don't know can't hurt them...right? Wrong! So how to be truthful but in a kind way.
Steps
- Realize that not telling the truth and lying is the same thing. You can't get past this point if you don't realize you are straight-up lying to the person and its wrong.
- Be considerate about what you're telling the person. If it's going to hurt them, it was worth telling them because it will be better for the both of you. If you don't feel good, tell them. Then, if they don't feel good either, work to a solution. Telling them how you feel is a benefit. They can let you know if you are going over the top, or maybe when you tell them they will realize they are going over the top. Tell them your feelings whether they be good or bad and work for a solution.
- JUST DO IT, as Nike says. Don't lie about anything! Just come right out and tell the truth to every last detail. S/He'll have more respect for you this way. Maybe if you just obligate yourself to breaking the habit, break through the moment and let your fears come at you every time you tell the truth when you want to lie, it will happen for you. Keep in mind that this works after you understand why you want to stop lying. Don't just obligate yourself because you know its what everyone else does. Realize its better for the both of you (think about you and him/her).
- Put yourself in your partners shoes and feel how they would feel about it. Take a minute to realize that what you've told them isn't easy to cope with. Don't get angry if they can't trust you after you told them you lied. How can they believe you? What if its another lie? Even if they get picky about the smallest things you do after the big change, deal with it unless your partner is not worth it to you. You did the wrong, after all, by lying...
- Find out why you lie. Realize that lying is not the solution. Try not to make excuses for why you lie to them. If you lying to them because you are afraid is really that big of an issue, then it may be abuse. If you can find yourself and you know your fear or reason to lie, its not as good as telling the truth. If you are lying to protect yourself, telling the truth will open your and his/her eyes and get you used to things.
- Be yourself and be confident. Lying to him/her is as good as you not being around and anyone taking your place. Be yourself. You lying to your partner is a fake relationship and it, while they don't know it, is painful to hang out with someone who lied to you the whole time.
- Know that there are many reactions to your change. Its painful for them because you lied to them before. It was definitely nice of you to tell them you were a liar, but just because you told them doesn't mean you are suddenly changed. They have to see it and feel it with you. That takes time. If you lied before, they might not be able to trust you now. Some may accept you right away, but that never means to take it lightly.
Tips
- Be lovable.
- Be honest, truthful, and faithful.
- To help you and your spouse/partner get closer, pick an activity for both of you to try, like baking, crafts, or volunteer work. This will help you bond and help you try out something new at the same time.
