Be a Really Cool Guy
It's not easy to be a really cool guy. To be cool, you have to be an individual, not care what people think, and treat others with kindness and respect without seeming too eager. But if you really want to be cool, you do have to pay attention to your looks, develop a unique and engaging personality, and project a cool image to the world. If you want to know how to be a really cool guy, just follow these steps.
Contents
Steps
Develop a Cool Personality
- Be yourself. Looks are important, but not nearly as important as being who you are. Learn to be less concerned with how you come off to other people and more concerned with having fun, joking around, talking about your interests, and doing what you want to do. If you can make anybody laugh, that's a great start.
- Don't be ashamed to let people see what makes you unique. If you're into birdwatching, cool. But if you want to hide that you're into birdwatching, then you're not being cool at all.
- Don't hide where you came from. If you're from the South and have a Southern drawl, don't try to hide it because you live up North. People will appreciate that you're different.
- Don't act too cool to care. If you really care who wins the baseball game that night, show it. Don't act like nothing matters to you just to be cool.
- Always be yourself. You can try to improve parts of your personality, but Be Authentic means not being afraid to be who you are.
- Be charming. If you want to be a really cool guy, then you have to know how to charm everyone in your presence. A charming person walks confidently into a room and can talk to anyone he passes with ease, humor, and a smile on his face. You should be able to flatter an eighty-year-old woman or crack up an eight-year-old boy; to be truly charming, you need the magic touch that lets you make everyone feel at ease in your presence.
- To charm a person, show more of an interest in him than in talking about yourself. Ask about a person's interests or feelings and nod intently and make eye contact to show that you actually care.
- To be charming, remember a person's name when you meet him, and always use it the next time you see him.
- Laugh easily. Charming people are always laughing or making other people laugh. Don't be afraid to gently tease a person who is receptive to it.
- Be witty. Being witty is a part of being cool. If you want to be a really cool guy, then you have to be able to make people laugh, to speak on your toes, and to maintain a light and winning banter with almost anyone who calms your way. To be witty, you also have to be sharp, and to offer incisive and clever comments at the right moment.
- If someone says something funny, don't just laugh -- answer back with a funny comment of your own.
- Watch other witty people you admire, from comedians to your funny uncle, to see if you can pick up on their tricks.
- You'll need perfect timing to be witty. Deliver your jokes when everyone is listening and loudly enough for everyone to hear. If you make a joke too quietly or when someone else is talking, it won't be cool if you try it again.
- Be social. Don't be fooled by the movies. Cool guys don't pose in the parking lot on their motorcycle until they're surrounded by women. Call up people, make plans, take risks, and make friends that you can trust and respect. If you're social and hang out with a lot of people, then you'll look cool because you have a variety of friends.
- Accept invitations. Don't turn people down just because you don't think it will be "cool" to show up somewhere.
- Don't always be social. Though it's great to hang out with others, give yourself some time to do your own thing and develop your personality.
- Be friendly -- to everyone. Don't only be social and nice to the cool kids -- truly cool people are cool with everyone.
- Be confident. You could be amazingly good looking, but girls won't notice you if you speak timidly or have slouched posture. Hold your head up and your chest out, and look everyone in the eye. Work on your self esteem to get rid of any problems you may have with insecurity. This is not an overnight process, but you won't gain respect from others until you respect yourself.
- Walk tall with your head high, showing that you're proud of who you are.
- Speak clearly and slowly enough so that everyone hears what you have to say.
- Make eye contact when you talk to people. This shows that you're comfortable with yourself.
- Don't be afraid to laugh at yourself. This shows that you're even more confident. You don't have to be self-deprecating to be able to laugh at yourself sometime.
- Show an interest in others. Who wants to hear someone talk about himself all the time? Find out what your friends are interested in or working on and ask them about it. This will earn you a reputation as someone who is caring and considerate.
- When you talk to someone, ask, "How are you?" This shows that you actually care about the person.
- Ask a person about his interests. People love talking about their interests, and will think you're cool for caring enough to ask.
- Be positive. You don't have to give everyone a thumbs up or grin like a fool to be positive. Being positive just means being upbeat, looking for the good in things, and talking about the things that make you happy instead of bringing people down. Nobody likes a person who is negative and constantly complaining, so you should avoid doing so when you can. Instead, focus on the positive things, and you'll see how quickly people think you're cool.
- Every time you hear yourself saying something negative, say three positive things to counter what you've just said.
- It's okay to complain or be negative once in a while if you're really feeling upset or annoyed. Just don't make it a habit.
- If someone else is being negative, you can also make that person feel better by making him see the good side of things and by making him laugh. People will appreciate your ability to make them feel better. That's very cool.
- Don't put people down. You may think it's cool to make fun of people who are less cool than you, or calling people "losers" because they don't meet your standards of coolness. However, putting people down doesn't make you look better -- instead, it makes you look insecure and desperate to make other people look bad so people see you in a more favorable light.
- Instead of putting people down, you can tease or playfully poke fun at your friends. They'll tease you back and you'll both have fun, instead of entering a storm cloud of negativity.
Develop Your Interests
- Read a book. Read several books. Always have a good book at home that you are reading. Books can be a great icebreaker and can stimulate conversation at parties. Plus, someone who is well-read is always attractive. The more you read, the more you know, and the more you'll develop a unique perspective on the world.
- If people call you a nerd, just laugh it off. Anything is cool if you make it cool.
- Reading will also make it easier for you to talk to a variety of people, not just one narrow social circle. Truly cool people can talk to almost anyone.
- Keep up on current events. You don't need to tear through several newspapers per day, but having a basic understanding of what's going on in the world will give you a reputation of being smart and knowledgeable, both of which are attractive qualities. This process can be as simple as going on Google News and reading two or three of the biggest stories each day.
- You don't have to sound like a know-it-all to bring up something interesting and relevant. People will think it's cool that you have time to think about the world -- not just yourself.
- If you have no idea what's going on in the world, you'll look clueless -- and that's just not cool.
- Get Fit and Active Being physically fit and active is already cool. Even if you're not a big athlete, going to the gym or running can get your blood flowing and can improve your physique. Being physically active will also develop your confidence, which is very cool.
- Sports are also a great way to make new friends and bond with other people. Join a sports team or two in your school, and see how many new friends you make.
- Physical activity also releases endorphins which make you feel better, improving your overall mood and making you more appealing to hang out with.
- Pursue your interests. Whether you join a club at school or take a screenwriting class in your community, doing something that you love will not only make you more interesting, but it can help you make new friends. Don't be shy about pursuing your interests, even if some of the things you love may not be traditionally considered to be "cool."
- If you join a club, you can eventually have a leadership position in the organization, which is very cool.
- Pick up a skill. The more you can do, the cooler you'll be. Learn how to fix a car, build a table, finish a deck, or even to cook the perfect steak. If you have a skill, you'll not only be useful to others, but people will think it's cool that you took the initiative to do something.
- Once you've mastered a skill, you can even teach it to someone else. Now that's cool.
- Develop your interests by yourself. Though certain interests, like team sports, can be developed better in groups, part of being cool is being able to spend time learning things on your own. Anyone who is comfortable spending time by himself and who even likes spending time by himself is much cooler than a person who is so socially eager that he's desperate to always be hanging out with people.
- Spend time learning to play the guitar, picking up a new language, or just writing down your thoughts in a journal. This will help you figure out who you are and you'll become cooler in the process.
- If you're always around, people will take you for granted. But if you're sometimes busy because you're catching up on some alone time, then people will appreciate you more when you're around.
Make a Good Impression
- Have the right body language. Though being cool should come from within, people can make assumptions about you if your body language indicates that you're insecure and unsure of yourself. To have cool body language, just stand tall, keep your head high and your shoulders open, showing that you're proud to be taking up space.
- Don't hunch over, or you'll look like you're cowering.
- Don't cross your arms over your chest, or you'll look uncomfortable and insecure. Instead, keep your arms at your sides or use them to gesture as you speak.
- Don't fidget with your hands or your clothes, or you'll look insecure.
- Maintain good hygiene. Have you ever met a cool guy who reeks of sweat and never brushes his teeth? Didn't think so. Shower everyday, use deodorant to cover up body odor, brush and floss your teeth twice a day and wash your hair regularly. Carry some mints or gum around with you to get rid of bad breath. Be sure to also wash your clothes regularly.
- Look after your skin. Wash your face with warm water and rub on some moisturizer afterwards. If you have dry skin, moisturize with a product meant for dry skin. Avoid products with fragrances if your skin is sensitive. For oily and combination skin, use a moisturizer without alcohol and that is meant for oily/combination skin. For acne problems, Clearasil offers a number of products ranging from face washes to pimple creams.
- Watch what you eat and drink. A healthy diet and drinking lots of water is also great for your complexion. Oily and greasy foods will make your complexion more oily and greasy, too.
- Be assertive. Don't be afraid to take up space when you sit or when you move around. Don't be afraid to be louder, even though it will create some social pressure. When you speak, slow down your words to show that you value what you're saying and you're not worried that you'll get cut off. Make good and fearless eye contact.
- At the same time, know when to let other people take center stage. You can't assert yourself 100% of the time.
- Have cool style. Make sure your clothes fit properly and actually look good on you. Try to find colors or patterns that especially look good with your skin tone, and wear them most. Even a simple wardrobe like a t-shirt and jeans is fine as long as it fits and suits you.
- If you need to go shopping for clothes, invest in only a few items of clothing of more expensive, higher quality clothing instead of buying lots of mediocre and cheap clothes. An example is Hollister.
- Experiment with different styles, and try to find the one that plays off of your strengths and identity, whether you're preppy or going for more of a rocker or hipster look.
- Having cool style means wearing what you love no matter how ridiculous you may look. If people make fun of your clothes and you stop wearing them just to please people, then you're not being cool.
- Style your hair. Just because you have nice clothes doesn't mean you can forget about your hair. Make sure it's in a style that suits you and that is comfortable and easy to maintain. Wash your hair regularly, and if it's short, try different hairstyles.
- If you need to get a haircut or want a new style, the best method is to splurge on an expert hair stylist once, take a picture of that haircut, and get it done at cheaper places later on. If they style your hair in a certain way that you like, have them show you how to recreate that look on your own.
- Don't forget to smile. You may think that it's not cool to smile, or that only dorks grin from ear to ear for no reason, but quite the opposite is true. If you're nice and smile at people, they'll feel welcomed and will want to get to know you. If you're too cool to say hi, then you'll just be hanging out by yourself in the corner while everyone else has a good time.
- A smile makes a lasting impression. Even if people don't know you well, they'll like you if you smile at them. And if you don't smile at them, they'll think you're a jerk or a grouch before they even get to know you.
Tips
- Don't be afraid of anything. Be spontaneous!
- Making someone smile is not just cool but also a strong attraction to women. A guy with good sense of humor is very cool.
- Girls love to hang out with cool guys because they make them feel good, laugh and smile.
- Don't smoke. Girls hate smoke blowing in their face. It leads to bad breath, makes your clothes smell like smoke and is unhealthy overall.
- Do something with your style that makes you stand out, without going over the top.
- The number one rule to being cool is to plain and simple know you're the best. you don't have to say those exact words but show everyone that you think highly of yourself and they will follow.
- Don't change your personality with each different woman. Try to stay true to yourself, but appeal different personalities.
- Try to be unique, wear your own style. Be more affable and benevolent with others.
Become a style statement. That's cool too.
Warnings
- Do not get caught up in pettiness or rivalries. The best solution is to ignore this kind of drama and move onto something more worth your time.
- Copying other people's style is okay, but only on the path to developing your own personal style. Any personal style or behavior that you have originally came from your observing other people, but eventually you should pick and choose what you want to adopt as your own.
- Do not hit on every woman you encounter. This will leave you with a negative reputation.
- Cool guys don't put other people down to feel better about themselves. Even if these types of people are popular at one point, they will eventually lose friends and respect.
- Know that not everyone will like you, its normal. You can't please everyone. Be sure to accept people who reject you for whatever reason it is.
