Be an Atheist Parent

Being an atheist in a religious culture can be a challenging situation and being an atheist parent is an even more daunting position for one to be in. Have you ever asked yourself how you can be an atheist parent? This article will provide some guidance for anyone looking for help on this topic. Get started at step one below.

Steps

  1. Raise them however you want. They're your kids. There are worse kids out there. You'll probably do more harm worrying about every little thing. Parenting is about using your instincts, experience and making good use of all the resources you have. Religion has little to do with physical difficulties you may have raising children.
  2. Consider the beliefs you want to pass on to your children. Why are you an atheist? How strongly are you committed to atheism? Do you want to actively raise your children as atheists, or expose them to religion and allow them to make up their own minds? You should discuss these questions with the child's other parent if they will be involved in raising them.
  3. Think about how you will deal with difficult questions. Religions offer their followers answers to 'big' life questions like "Why do we die?" and "Why do bad things happen to good people?" These questions are bound to arise and it is good to have thoughtful reasoned responses prepared before they do. In particular religion can offer a great deal of comfort during grief. If a Grandparent, pet, or loved one dies it can be difficult to comfort your child without falling back on "they are in a better place." If the person or pet was very sick try explaining that it is good they are no longer in pain. You may want to encourage your child to think of fond memories of the deceased and explain that they live on in those happy memories.
  4. Teach your child right from wrong. As an atheist your morals are not based on the rules of a holy text or leader but you still need to instill them in your children just as you follow laws and the rules the apply to society in general. You probably don't need to over think this. It is not difficult to explain why sharing is good, or hurting others is bad. If you want stories to back up your lessons you can use non-religious stories like Aesop's Fables, folk or fairy tales to start discussion about moral questions and of course set a good example yourself. You may like to explain to your child that some people follow the laws of their religion because they fear their god's retribution or because they want to go to a heavenly place when they die. The atheists who obey the law, have good morals and respect the human rights of others do so because it's the right thing to do.
  5. Teach your children about religion and religious beliefs as you teach them about history. Your children are bound to encounter religion through other children and adults. You should explain to them why other people believe in a god/s and why you do not. Religion has shaped the world as political events and history events have. Your children can have an understanding and appreciation of this without having to believe in anything.
    • When your children are young be sure to teach them not to mock other's beliefs. A child who is raised with a rational science-based view of the world may find it difficult to believe that other people (especially adults) believe in a god. This, combined with a child's tendency to speak their mind can lead to trouble.
    • When your children are older teach them how to defend their non-beliefs.
  6. Get them involved in activities that they like, and let them blossom into who they are. Let them know that who they are is perfectly okay.
  7. Try to find other atheists and get help, but if not, don't worry about it. Having diverse friends and family is good for children of all kinds to learn from.
  8. Set a good example
    • Teach them why you are an atheist
    • Show them why honesty and responsibility is important
    • Expose them to things they will hear from their peers when criticized for their (lack of) beliefs

Tips

  • Get your children involved with environmental issues or volunteering; something that can help them feel as if they're doing some good without having to fall back on a belief system.
  • Be an example of tolerance and acceptance, and let your children know that there will always be those who disagree but that doesn't make anybody better or worse than anybody else.
  • Teach your children to believe in themselves. Help them become self-sufficient and be an example of self-sufficiency for them to learn by.

Warnings

  • If your child or children become religious, do not argue with them or feel disappointed - this will only serve to cause rifts within the family. As you chose to be atheist, so they may choose to be theistic.

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