Become More Outgoing and Daring in Life

No matter if you are shy or already outgoing, any person may want to be more of an extrovert. This type of person is generally outgoing, energetic, and likely to say yes to adventure or excitement. But you may be scared or unsure of how to be more of an extrovert. By cultivating extrovert qualities, acting with confidence, and taking safe risks, you can be more outgoing and daring in your life!

Steps

Cultivating Your Extrovert

1. Project positivity with body language. Your facial expressions, body position, as well as the tone of voice can all impact how funny you seem. Use your body language to give others a positive first impression and make you seem more outgoing and approachable. Try some of the following signals to alert others that you are interested in approaching them and having a conversation:
   • Flash your eyebrows upwards
   • Offer your hand in a handshake
   • Open your arms for a hug
   • Smile
   • Make eye contact
   • Stand in the center or close to the center of the room
2. Approach other people. It may be difficult to overcome social anxieties and walk up to someone, but this is one of the best ways not only to be more outgoing, but also more approachable. Although this may seem counterintuitive, if you show your willingness to walk up to someone and introduce yourself, it may help the person relax. In turn, this can spark conversations as well as build your confidence.
   • Glance around the room or space you are in and see if there are any potential conversation mates. Make eye contact with the person and slowly walk up to them.
   • Watch the other person’s body language as you approach her. If she crosses her arms or looks away, this may be a sign she isn’t interested in chatting with you. Simple move on and find another person who looks approachable and interesting to you.
3. Strike up conversations. You can help yourself be more outgoing by starting conversations in any situation. It may be difficult at first, but the more often you strike up chats, the easier it will get and the more relaxed you may appear. This also sends the signal to other people that you are open, outgoing, and approachable.
   • Talk to people in your general vicinity, even if they’re complete strangers. Whether you’re at a work conference or family picnic, look to the people around you as potential conversation partners. Cue them with your body language that you’re interested in chatting.
   • Keep conversation topics commensurate with the situation. For example, don’t talk about your personal life at a work conference and don’t use a wedding to vent about your job.
4. Use an icebreaker. Whether you’re with new people or old friends, you might be a bit apprehensive to actually join a conversation or activity. Break the ice with a joke or statement to relieve any tension and make people happy.
   • Think of lighthearted or funny things to say in advance. Make sure it’s appropriate for the situation. For example, if you’re with people you don’t know, you could say “No wonder it’s so warm in here, there are a lot of lobbyists blowing hot air.” In situation where you know the people, you could exclaim “The grill master has arrived.”
   • Offer a compliment, which can relax other people and make them happy. This can then make it easier for you to be more outgoing. For example, you could say “You have the most beautiful red hair” or “That’s a handsome watch you’re wearing.”
5. Introduce yourself. Let the person or group know who you are, even if you’re already acquainted. This can cue people that you’re approachable and welcome conversations.
   • Let the person know your name and something about yourself if you don’t know him. For example, try "Hi, I’m Jack and I love to swim. I come to this beach a couple of times a week and haven’t ever seen you here. What’s your name and do you enjoy this beach or swimming, too?" Repeat the person’s name to help you remember it and show your interest. For example, say "Hi Christopher, it’s great to meet you! Are you headed into the water?”
   • Be honest with people you know. You can say something such as “Hey there, this the new Emily. I’m trying to be more outgoing with people and get out of my shell.” You might find that your friends, family, or even acquaintances will take this cue to help you to be more outgoing with invitations or seeking conversations with you.
6. Express your thoughts. You can keep a conversation going by giving your thoughts and opinions. However, remember to keep the mood as light as possible so the conversation doesn’t end or you alienate your chat buddy.
   • Find a common interest you have with the person and talk about that. You can say something like “can you believe what’s going on in the cycling world right now? It’s insanity!”
   • Allow the conversation to flow as naturally as possible between different types of subjects. Make sure that each person is speaking equally, which can build your confidence and help you be more outgoing in conversations.
   • Feel free to express your opinions in a way that includes your conversation partner. For example, you could say “I’ve noticed that prices at our local supermarket have really increased and as much as I like to support small business, I’m not sure I can afford to keep shopping there. Have you had this experience, too?”
7. Extend and accept invitations. Host a small party or evening out or take someone up on her offer to get together, especially if these are not activities that you normally do. Getting out and interacting with other people can help you be more outgoing and relaxed. It also includes an element of risk.
   • Put together a dinner party or organize a small gathering at a restaurant. Invite a mix of people from your social and/ or professional circles. This will put you at the center of attention as host and force you to talk to every person and start conversations among the group.
   • Invite someone you’d like to know better to coffee or lunch. Follow up on your time together with another meeting and see if a friendship blossoms.
   • Accept the invitations others extend to you. This may give you the chance to meet new people and work on being more outgoing. Remember that not accepting invitations multiple times sends a message that you’re not interested. It may lead to your exclusion from fun activities.
8. Circulate among different groups. One of the hallmarks of an outgoing individual is that they are not quiet around strangers and talk to a lot of different people in any situation. Take the opportunity at personal or professional events to engage in conversations with different people. It may not be easy at first, but the more often you do this, the easier it will get.
   • Ease yourself next to a person or into a group. Listen to anything they might be saying and move in by saying, “May I move in a bit? I’m really interested in the conversation.”
   • Introduce yourself to an individual within a group. She may then incorporate you into the group and/or conversation.

Acting with Confidence

1. Realize that every person is special. Every individual has different things at which they excel and that they can offer. Recognizing that you are special and bring something to any conversation or situation can boost your confidence to be more outgoing or take risks.
   • Figure out what makes you special and make a list of these items. For example, you might be a seasoned world traveler. Since this isn’t necessarily a common trait, your ability to embrace the world around you gives you a unique perspective on the world that may interest many people.
   • Avoid comparing yourself to other people, which can undermine your confidence.
2. Accept yourself. Part of being confident is accepting yourself as you are. You may be a quiet person by nature and shouldn’t force yourself to be an extrovert. You can still be confident, daring and impressive even if you're naturally more introverted. One well-placed comment can be as funny or interesting as a five minutes of chatter.
   • Recognize that you have many wonderful things to offer the world and those around you. Make a list of these qualities or elements and refer to them whenever you feel doubt.
   • Realize that accepting yourself can also help those around you to be good to you, too. This can instill a lot of confidence in you.
3. Believe in yourself. Without believing in yourself and your abilities, it can be difficult to be more outgoing and daring. Remind yourself that you are and can be successful at anything to which you put your mind with positive affirmations and highlighting the positive in your life.
   • Give yourself daily affirmations. For example, tell yourself “I’ve spent so much time traveling and this has given me a really unique perspective on the world and helped me realize that every person deserves equality.”
   • Surround yourself with people who believe in you and bolster your confidence.
   • Remember that confidence can comes from almost anything, such as knowing that you have a positive relationships, a great work ethic, or even that you look good. This can bolster your confidence and make you more able to approach others or take risks.
   • Remember that failure is an important part of believing in yourself. For example, if you lost your job and pushed through the bad time to find a wonderful new job, this shows your ability to succeed even with hindrances.
4. Counteract negative thoughts. It’s not uncommon to sometimes have negative thoughts or feelings. But how you handle this type of thinking has a significant influence on how you interact with others and can either bolster or lower your self-esteem. Identify the following types of thoughts that lower your self esteem and then tell yourself to reassess the feelings and thought patters, which can help boost your confidence:
   • All or nothing thinking, which means you perceive of things as either only good or only bad. For example, you say “If I don’t get this job, it means I’m a failure.” Instead, say “If I don’t get this job, it means something better is waiting out there for me.”
   • Mental filtering, which means you only see negatives about a person and it distorts you views of him or the situation. For example turn “I let the team down and now they’ll blame me for the loss” into “I made a mistake but so have other people. We can learn from this and move forward.”
   • Converting positives into negatives, which means you take any achievement and find a way to make it not count. For example, you could say “Hey, I won a race and it feels great!” instead of “I only won the race because no one entered.”
   • Mistaking feelings for facts. You might think you’re a failure because you’re having a bad day and feel like one. Remind yourself of all of your achievements to counteract this.
5. Encourage yourself. It’s important to tell yourself that positive developments are both behind and ahead of you. Praise yourself for making positive changes and hitting your goals.
   • Remember to focus on the positive in every situation, even if you can’t see it at first. For example, you can say “My dissertation may not be perfect, but it’s finished. I completed an academic marathon, which many people can’t do.”
   • Avoid letting bumps in the road discourage you. Encourage yourself to get up, dust off, and move on by reframing what happened in positive terms.
6. Have a good time. The ability to relax and have fun anywhere shows your confidence. Focus on the positive, which can help you be more outgoing with others and be more daring in your life.
   • Seek out company that is lighthearted and having a good time. They may be laughing or smiling a lot. This can help you feel relaxed and confident and be more likely to express yourself or take a risk.
   • Allow negativity to roll off of your back. If you experience anything negative, take it in and then move past it. Exposure to negative opinions or behavior can undermine your ability to act with confidence.

Taking Risks

1. Set goals for yourself. If you want to be more daring, this usually means taking some risks. Figure out how you want to be more daring and then set attainable goals for yourself.
   • Use the SMART method as a guideline for your goals. SMART stands for: specific, measurable, attainable, realistic, timely. For example, maybe you want to try paragliding. Your goal might be “I want to get over my fear of heights so that I can enjoy the view from above. I’ll work on getting used to being in higher buildings and looking out so that I can celebrate my next birthday by paragliding with a partner.”
   • Put your goals on paper to reinforces them. Update your goals whenever you meet them. Consider reevaluating your goals at regular intervals to ensure they’re still attainable.
2. Have realistic expectations. Make sure that your desire to be more daring is within the realm of the realistic for you. This can keep you from not reaching your goals, which in turn might undermine your confidence and willingness to be daring.
   • See if your goals are realistic by talking to others or researching them. For example, if you want to be a gymnast but are a bit older, it may be difficult to get to the Olympics. But that doesn’t mean that you can’t enjoy gymnastics classes or competitions.
3. Try new experiences. Any time you try something new, you’re being daring because there’s a chance you may not enjoy it or fail at it. Trying new activities or having different experiences whenever you can not only makes you more daring, but it can also boost your confidence and help you be more outgoing with others.
   • Keep an open mind to anything you haven’t tried yet. For example, if a friend invites you to try a new cuisine, don’t hesitate going. Chances are, you may find something you like and even if you don’t, you can say that you tried it.
   • Participate in new or different activities. Get out of your comfort zone and join a club or try changing up your routine. For example, maybe you run every day but would like to jazz up your workout. You could try out Crossfit or another sport such as yoga, both of which can challenge you in different ways than running.
   • Rise above your fears. Any time you try something new, there may be an element of fear to it. Take a deep breath and reassure yourself that this is good for you.
4. Embrace changes. Every individual experiences change in their life at some point. Many times, the change involves having courage or being more daring in your life. Welcome change whenever it comes your way, which can help you more readily take risks in the future.
   • Remember that you are capable of handling anything life throws your way. This can give you the confidence to persevere. When in doubt, take a step back, relax, and let go.
   • Take small steps to accept the changes in your life. Breaking up change into manageable pieces can make it easier to embrace and may make you more willing to take risks related to it.
5. Accept failure. Just like change, failure happens to most people. But how you deal with that failure can make you more daring and confident. Keep moving forward because many risk-takers experience setbacks before finding success.
   • Figure out what caused your failure and apply this for future success. For example, if the design of your Smartphone app didn’t catch on, read comments and make tweaks to a new design based on the feedback.
   • Ask for help whenever and wherever you need it. Not only can this help you be more daring in the future, but simply asking for help can help you be more outgoing, too.

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