Many people aspire to achieve popularity. Popularity is not synonymous with being fake, judgmental, and exclusive. Rather, popular individuals are admired and respected. You can become popular by being true to yourself, inclusive of others, and involved in your community.
Steps
Being Yourself
- Evaluate why you want to become popular. Before you dedicate your time, effort, and resources to becoming cool, take a moment to evaluate your desire to be popular.
- Are you searching for acceptance? Are you looking for attention? Are you trying to rebel or reinvent yourself?
- Even if you try really hard to be well-liked—you do everything perfectly—you may never become popular in society’s eyes. What will happen if you don’t become popular? How can you cope with failing to fulfill this desire? What other outlets could you explore as you try to discover your authentic self?[1]
- Be true to yourself. In order to become popular, you do not conform to societal norms or completely reinvent yourself. Strive to develop into the best version of yourself—the most compassionate, spunky, authentic you. As you become self aware, your confidence will grow. You will become more adventurous, passionate, and interesting. Your social anxiety will decrease and people will be more drawn to you.
- Discover what you believe in and who you are independently from others.
- Don’t alter your personality to fit in or to try to get people to like you.[2]
- Stand up for your beliefs. Never compromise your personal beliefs and opinions in exchange for popularity. Instead, openly embrace what you believe in and love. Start new trends, instead of following old ones.[2]
- Remain humble. Never underestimate the power of humility. People that take themselves too seriously are difficult to be around—lighten up and live a little! Likewise, it is not attractive to brag about your accomplishments, money, or things— wait for others congratulate or compliment you.
- When you make a mistake or a social faux pas, don’t be afraid to laugh at yourself.
- When you accomplish something incredible or do something wonderful for another person, don’t broadcast your achievement.
- When you get a new outfit or item, don’t rub it in others’ faces.[3]
- Care about your appearance. Taking pride in your appearance is one of the simplest ways to improve your social prospects and alter the way people think about you. You do not have to wear expensive or trendy clothes to become popular. Instead, aim to look presentable at all times—put thought into your outfits, hairstyles, and personal hygiene. Experiment with developing your own eclectic sense of style.[4]
Being Inclusive
- Expand your social circle. While popular people are not always liked by everyone, they are known by everyone. In order to increase your popularity, you need to broaden your social circle. Go out of your way to meet and hang out with new people.[5]
- Smile and say “Hi” to everyone you meet.
- Eat lunch with someone new.
- Avoid judging and bullying others. As you strive to become popular, don’t tear others down in the process.Remember, a kind, compassionate person wins over more friends than a nasty, unconfident person. Never judge people, but always jump to their defense. Don’t bully others, but befriend them.[6]
- Be kind to people outside your group. Being a clique that despises outsiders will not earn you many friends beyond the group. Instead, work to earn the respect and friendship of outsiders.
- Support and help others. Helping others accomplish their goals and reveling in their success, is an excellent way to develop a positive reputation. Set aside your desire for attention or your need to be the best. Instead, encourage and assist those around you as they strive to succeed. Your compassion will surprise and delight others.[6]
- Offer to help someone with their homework or a project.
- Stay after practice to workout with a teammate.
- Congratulate others on their accomplishments.
- Address and cope with people that dislike you. Bullies, haters, negative and unkind people will always be present in your life whether you are popular or an outcast. You may know these individuals or they may be complete strangers to you. In order to lead a healthy life and live as the most authentic you—even if you never become popular—it is important that you address and cope with people that dislike you.
- Remove toxic people from your environment. Stop spending time with that negative friend that always belittles you.
- Stand up for yourself. Let this person know that you do not appreciate and will no longer tolerate their negative treatment of you.
- Don’t take it personally. Bullying is not a reflection on you, but a self-reflection on the bully. You are not the problem; they are they problem.[7]
Becoming More Involved
- Say “Yes” to trying new things. Exposing yourself to new experiences and adventures is an excellent way to develop self-confidence and meet new people. When someone asks you to try something new, don’t be afraid to say “yes.” Set aside any anxiety or doubts and immerse yourself in the opportunity to expand your horizons. You may discover a new hobby or develop a new friendship along the way.[2]
- Try new restaurants.
- Sign up for an art class or work-out class.
- Learn how to play a new instrument.
- Attend events and parties. Going to sporting events and parties are excellent ways to expand your social circle and increase your popularity. These events provide you with a chance to interact with others in a more relaxed and intimate environment.
- Mix and mingle with new people at a tailgate.
- Get to know your co-workers at a holiday party.
- Join a sports team, club, or committees. Participating in extracurricular activities is a wonderful way to increase your social circle and popularity. You will form lasting relationships with your fellow members. Your accomplishments will attract the attention and praise of those around you.[2]
- Try out for the school musical.
- Join the debate team.
- Run for student council.
Tips
- Ask others to hang out so that you can get to know them better.
- Express constructive, positive thoughts.
- Be patient. Some people are hard to win over, and some people insist on being difficult.
- Compliment others. Say something nice about their hair, clothes, or accomplishments.
- Be genuinely kind to others.
- Give good advice to people who need it.
- Motivate people who think they're nothing.
- Stand up for the weak and pull them up with you as you climb through the rankings.
- Don't be something your not and don't act like your better than everyone else, that is a big mistake!
- Remember the names of people and introduce them to others and smile to brighten their day! If you notice that someone is being left out, invite them to come along. You may end up with a loyal friend.
Warnings
- Don't be judgmental or spread rumors about people to others.
- Never forget your best friends. Don't dump them to gain popularity.
- Becoming popular takes time. Be patient and persistent.
Sources and Citations
