Become a Lifestyle Lolita

A lifestyle Lolita is someone who follows and respects the Lolita subculture, with proper etiquette, lolita friends, and more. If you want to become a lifestyle lolita, read on!

Steps

Looking the Part

  1. Build your Lolita wardrobe. Places like "Anna House" and "In the Starlight" are wonderful for those on a budget, as well as other indie shops which carry Lolita. Ebay is not recommended; often the stores won't use their own photographs and you will get a low-quality item. Some essential items are:
    • A white blouse and/or a black blouse (depending on what style of lolita you are)
      • Blouses vary with style. For sweet, you may want a peter pan collar. For classic, you may want a high collar. Other elements to look for in a blouse are a nice, tailored look, puff or cap sleeves, a bib or yoke, pintucks, ruffles or a decent amount of lace, and a neck bow if desired.
    • A few full skirts. The skirts should be around knee length and full enough to fit a petticoat underneath. Make sure that the skirt fits on your waist or a little below it, but not at your hips. In order to get the right silhouette, the skirt must sit at the natural waist.
    • A good lolita petticoat. This is nothing like a square-dancing petticoat. A-Line or Bell-shaped work best. Hoop skirts and light slips won't fill out the skirt correctly.
    • Bloomers
    • Knee-high/over-the-knee socks
    • Mary Jane shoes. Black or white can work depending on your style; pink or white are good for sweet lolita.
    • Optionally, you can get lolita-specific undergarments.
  2. Get a parasol. Parasols are a key part of lolita fashion. Try to get parasols with similar patterns to those of the dresses you plan on wearing.
  3. Expand into more colors. After you have the basics, expand into colors other than black and white. Red, pink, light and dark blue, brown, and floral patterns are common.
  4. Style your hair. Use references to see what hairstyle works for you - wigs are always an option! Bangs (fringe), ringlets, long hair and pigtails are common. Wild, unnatural colors are optional. Your hairstyle depends on your face shape, body shape, height, and personal preference.

Living the Part

  1. Study. Study the Victorian and 18th Century French lifestyles for inspiration, and combine elements you like into your everyday life. These are good sources if you don't want to mix-match from multiple outfits specifically labelled "lolita".
  2. Read lolita books and magazines. Also visit sites on Lolita etiquette and mannerisms.
    • A good movie is Kamikaze Girls. The main character, Momoko, is a lifestyle lolita. There's a manga version of it, too.
  3. Act elegantly. Think about how you walk, eat, sit, etc. Slouching is very unattractive. Don't sit back. Stick your butt out slightly, though not noticeably, when you sit - this will make it much more comfortable to sit straight and tall. Try walking with your eyes level and not focused on the ground.
  4. Have good hygiene. Remember to always be clean: brush your hair, keep your nails dirt-free and neat, brush your teeth, and bathe/shower. When spraying perfume, be sure not to use too much. Excessive use of perfume isn't attractive and does not improve your hygiene. Being clean is important; being grubby isn't pleasing. Never have greasy hair. It is gross and very ita-lolita ("hard to look at").
  5. Speak calmly. This shows politeness. If you talk loudly, it'll seem like you're desperate for attention. Being loud in public isn't just obnoxious, but also inconsiderate to the people around you. Listen to what people have to say and always make eye contact.
  6. Take care of more than just your appearance. Parents will appreciate a girl who cares more about her education and work ethic than her nails. This will reflect in how you are viewed by those in authority. Who do you think gets the break when her homework isn't turned in? Teachers are harder on a girl who admits to spending two hours doing her nails than the one who is usually consistent.
  7. Form a Lolita group in real life. Go on trips, swap clothing and do whatever you want to do. Some Lolita-esque activities include:
    • Tea parties
    • Art shows
    • Watching movies like Alice in Wonderland
    • Karaoke
    • Visiting a fair or festival
    • Seeing a movie
    • Attending a seated concert or performance
    • Going shopping (for lolita clothes)
    • Ice skating
    • Going on a historical tour
    • Picnicking in a garden
    • Visiting the aquarium
    • Bake sales
    • Having a sleepover
  8. Have a list of guests. If you have arranged a meeting place for everyone, carry a small notepad with people’s names (or online aliases) to tick-off as people arrive. This way the chance of losing someone is minimal, especially if you have organized a large meet-up.
    • Another idea is to give out your mobile phone number before the event. This way, guests can contact you if they get lost.

Tips

  • Don't worry about what other people might think of you. If someone doesn't like your fashion, just ignore them! Don't be flat-out rude, but don't be afraid to speak out if they say something cruel! Just because you wear frills doesn't mean you have to let people walk on you.
  • Look at stores like H&M, Target, Forever 21 and even TJ Maxx - popular stores like these often have nice blouses, skirts and stockings that can be considered lolita. You do not have to pay 25,000 yen ($250!) for a dress from Japan! You can often find many lolita things for under $30.
  • Ask your guests to all contribute a plate of food if they come. A plate of food does not cost much, and you’ll find that if everyone brings one you’ll have more than enough for everyone. Having a picnic in a public place is also a lovely way to save money. Many museums and art galleries are free and make fantastic places to visit.
  • Ask how people are getting to the event and perhaps plan to all meet-up somewhere familiar before moving off to your main venue. Some of your guests may be able to carpool if they have to travel long distances.
  • When planning an event at a restaurant it's best to get a copy of the menu first to inform your guests how much a meal costs.
  • Obviously, a lolita meet-up involves the group dressing in lolita, but a special event may require a different dress code. Some black-tie events do not allow styles such as Casual or Guro lolita. For a casual meet-up, Casual lolita is sometimes best. It is your duty as the host of the event to make sure your guests are aware of the dress requirements.
  • Some meet-ups may cost much more than others. When planning a meet-up, it's a good idea to ask how much your guests are willing to spend. It’s one thing to plan an expensive meet-up, but if none of your guests can come, then it's pointless.
  • Murphy’s Law states that something will always go wrong, but try to do everything within your power to make things happen on time. Make sure to be on-time for your event or a little early if possible.

Warnings

  • Remember - fashion is about being creative and unique. You can (and should) always maintain your individuality, even when following any style.
  • Don't assume all lolitas will be lifestyle lolitas.
  • Just because it has lace on it does not make it lolita! This is a very common mistake.
  • Don't give up your beliefs. If you're a vegan, you don't have to start eating meat.
  • Don't change who you really are just to appear 'lolita'. At meet-ups you are far more likely to make friends if you act casually and have some fun.

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