Catch a Greased Pig

Pigs are not naturally greasy, but some fairs and carnivals in Iberia make them so for the sake of competition. The following technique was tried and tested at such an event.

Steps

  1. Chase the pig as if you were chasing something just to its right (left if you're left footed). This causes it to turn left (right) instinctively, but more importantly, slows it down a little.
  2. Sprint suddenly and try to get next to the pig.
  3. Jump diagonally across onto the pig off your better foot. Get your head down and your body horizontal, arms out to the sides to break your fall if you miss. Aim to get your leg over the pig's back.
  4. As you come down on the pig, hook your legs under the pig and back between the pig's rear legs, so that your heels are between the pig's rear legs.
  5. Get your arms around the pig's neck, and push your legs back and up, hooking the rear legs. In this position, it's very hard for the pig to shake you, greased or not. If you find yourself sliding left or right, allow one free hand to push off the ground to restore balance. If you slide back or forth, you need to tighten your grip: push up with the legs and arms.
  6. The pig's reaction will be to run faster. Let it tire itself out for a bit while you expend minimal energy holding your position.
  7. When you feel the pig faltering, straighten your legs as hard as you can. This will immobilize the rear legs. The pig will fall to one side, at which point you should unhook your leg from the underside before it lands or you could break your leg.
  8. Keep the upper rear leg hooked and grab the upper front leg. The pig will be unable to get up.

Tips

  • This only works on big pigs. On small pigs, maybe try the same hooking technique with the arms on the forelegs.
  • You probably won't get it right the first time, and it's hard to practice. There's nothing you can do about it, just enjoy it.

Warnings

  • There is a chance you could get seriously injured by being bitten or even killed.
  • Outside of a carnival or fair, you should play it safe and use a snare.

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Sources and Citations

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