Deal With Different Problems in Life

Money, relationships, family, health, school, careers. Problems can and will pop up in nearly every area of life. The longer you live, the more obstacles you must overcome. Learning to handle life's problems effectively is an essential skill that can have a drastic effect on your health and happiness. Building solid problem-solving strategies and coping skills can help you manage when life throws its punches.

Steps

Developing Problem-Solving Skills

  1. Define the problem.[1] Sometimes, when we are facing problems in life, it becomes difficult to separate the problem from the symptoms it causes. You must clearly identify and define the problem to come up with a workable solution.
    • For example, you are short on money for the bills. Find out the source of the problem. Why are you short this month? It could be you need to find a better paying job to account for a rise in expenses, pick up more hours at work, or stop spending needlessly on entertainment.
  2. Decide on your objective.[1] Your objective is the outcome that you would ideally like to see happen to resolve the problem.
    • For example, if you are short on money, your objective would be to make extra money or increase your income in some way.
  3. Narrow it down. If you have a really large problem that requires a really big objective to resolve, reduce this objective down into several smaller parts. Doing so makes it easier and more manageable to plan for the solution and take steps towards reaching it.[2]
    • For example, if you are hoping to increase the income in your household, you can pare this goal down to saving $100 first. Then, your goal might be to double that amount, and so forth. This is much more feasible than setting a goal to just save $500 right off the bat.
  4. Examine all the variables.[1] Brainstorm the potential variables available to you. Identify steps you can take to meet your chosen objective. Conduct research on each option to get a full understanding of each.
    • The variables to increase your income could be working more hours, searching for a better paying job, or decreasing other expenses to free up more income.
  5. Implement the solution that best meets your objective.[3] With the information you have gathered about each option, decide which one is most feasible for helping you reach your desired outcome.
    • Perhaps, you cannot find a new job or increase your work hours right now. Therefore, the only option available to you would be finding ways to cut back on other expenses.
  6. Check the results.[3] After you have implemented the solution, reassess it after a period of time to see whether it met your objective. If it did not, you can go back to square one, and try to see if another variable is now available to you that can better meet your goals.

Stocking Your Coping Toolbox

  1. Understand the downsides of chronic stress. Facing long-term stressors without healthy coping mechanisms can be dangerous to your health and well-being. Stress can either cause health troubles or worsen already existing medical conditions. You need to see a doctor if you suspect this is happening. Here are some of the physical signs that you are stressed:[4]
    • Headaches
    • Weight gain or loss
    • Depression
    • Anxiety
    • Insomnia
    • Difficulty breathing
    • Sleep problems
    • Changes in appetite
  2. Phone a friend. When you are feeling stressed, engaging your social support system can be a great way to fight it. Your social support network gives you a sense of belonging, increased self-worth, and security.[5] Calling a friend or family member to vent or simply take your mind off life's problems can be a great way to cope.
  3. Do something you love, often.[6] You may assume that having a pastime only serve to pass time. In truth, hobbies help us recharge, relieve stress, learn new things, connect with others, and gain a new perspective.[7]
    • A hobby can be anything that you enjoy doing. Try reading, writing, sports, hiking, canoeing, skating, painting, gardening, etc. There are endless possibilities for finding something you like to do and doing it regularly.
  4. Unwind each night. You have probably heard about the importance of getting 7 to 8 hours of sleep (more if you're a teen or child). But, getting good quality and duration sleep relies just as much on how relaxed and calm before you climb into bed. When you are struggling with problems in life, it can be hard to sleep. Try a pre-sleep routine to make it easier to drift off to dreamland.
    • Do something relaxing like stretching, listening to soothing music, taking a long, hot bath, or getting a massage.[8]
  5. Exercise.[4] Dealing with problems may give you the urge to crawl into bed and sleep for a week. You shouldn't. Being physically active can actually make you feel much better about your life. Exercise promotes the release of feel-good neurotransmitters in the brain called endorphins.[9] These chemicals improve your mood and give you that euphoric feeling many refer to as "runner's high."
  6. Relax on purpose. When life gets you down, you need a few tools to keep handy that help you battle stress and give you peace of mind. Relaxation techniques can be performed virtually anywhere, and at any time.[10]
    • Practice deep breathing by taking a deep breath in through your nose for 4 counts. Hold this breath for a moment, and then release the air for another 4 counts. You should see your lower belly rising with the inhale and deflating with the exhale.
    • Try progressive muscle by sitting quietly and comfortably in a chair or on a cushion. Move slowly through each muscle group in your body, tensing and releasing the different muscles. Start with your toes. Tense them for 5 seconds and take notice of how this feels. Next, release the tension and simply remain in the relaxed state for about 30 seconds before moving on to a new muscle group.

Coping with Interpersonal Issues

  1. Strive for more empathy. Oftentimes, we experience conflict with others because we do not take out the time to thoroughly understand their perspectives. Developing empathy for all humans can help you do this. There are many ways to build up your empathy. Here are a few suggestions:[11][12]
    • Aim to listen for understanding rather than responding. You probably spend most of your time listening thinking up what you are going to say next. Take the time to really hear what the other person is saying in your daily interactions. This leaves less room for misunderstandings.
    • Purposely go out of your way to shatter stereotypes. Do you have an unsupported opinion about a certain individual or group? Make an effort to meet, talk to, and get to know this individual(s) and see if your opinion changes.
    • Learn more about the world by reading, watching films or documentaries, and visiting museums that educate you about people from different walks of life.
  2. Use "I" statements.[13] One of the major roadblocks to healthy communication is using language that causes the listener to get defensive. Forming your words in a manner that allows you to express your feelings while not blaming the other person for them can minimize interpersonal conflict.
    • An "I" statement starts by expressing a feeling, explaining the why behind the feeling, and offering a practical solution. An "I" statement might include the following: "I feel unappreciated when you drop tasks on me at the last minute. It would be great if you could try to give me advanced notice next time."
  3. Stop trying to change others. Think about how you feel when someone close to you attempts to change some aspect of your nature. Perhaps your mom wants you to redecorate or your significant other doesn't like the way you dress. That probably feels bad, huh? Now, think about someone who seems to accept you for who you are. That feels so much better, right?
    • Constantly judging, nagging, or shaming others for their wrongness while emphasizing your rightness doesn't do anyone any good.[14] Remember, "a man convinced against his will is of the same opinion still". Trying to change others only frustrates you (and them).
    • Focus on working on your own faults instead of expending so much energy on others.[15]
  4. Learn when and how to apologize. If your words or actions have caused hurt or pain to another, you must make amends in order to prevent the relationship from becoming strained or totally breaking down. Apologizing demonstrates your willingness to admit a mistake and repair the relationship.[16]
    • Apologies express remorse, admit responsibility, make amends, and strive to prevent the same mistake from happening in the future.
    • An example of an apology could be "I apologize for not being respectful of your free time. I will do the work myself this time, and next time I will be sure to give you a heads up to check that you are available."

Having a Healthy Outlook

  1. Start viewing problems as opportunities. Change your language about the problems you encounter in life, and you can drastically change the way you handle them. Every problem opens up the doors to reassess, explore new options, and improve existing methods. Therefore, instead of labeling them as problems, think of them as opportunities to improve.[17]
  2. Channel your strengths. If you felt like you had the ability to effectively handle life's problems, you might not become so overwhelmed by them. Once you identify and start using your strengths, you can gain a higher confidence for handling life's problems.
    • Grab a sheet of paper and list all of the accomplishments, values, and positive qualities about yourself you can think of. Also, call a close friend or family member who knows you well. Ask this person to help you identify your strengths.
    • If you have trouble figuring out your strengths, take a free online assessment like the VIA Character Strengths Assessment.[18]
    • After you have identified your strengths, learn to channel them effectively in your life. Review each strengths and figure out ways that you already use this strength in your life. Then, brainstorm additional ways you can use this strength to your advantage.[19]
  3. Cultivate gratitude. Having gratitude about the good things in your life, or the previous problems that you were able to overcome, can help you cope with the present issues you are facing. To practice gratitude:[20]
    • Start a gratitude journal by writing out a few things that went well during each day.
    • Say "thank you" more.
    • Write gratitude letters to your family, friends, and acquaintances who have been a help to you in some way.
    • Transform your language to use these words more "gifts", "fortunate", "blessings", and "abundance".



Related Articles

Sources and Citations

  1. ↑ 1.0 1.1 1.2 http://www.kent.ac.uk/careers/sk/problem-solving-skills.htm
  2. ↑ http://dawnbarclay.com/break-down-your-goals-into-do-able-chunks/
  3. ↑ 3.0 3.1 http://asq.org/learn-about-quality/problem-solving/overview/overview.html
  4. ↑ 4.0 4.1 http://familydoctor.org/familydoctor/en/prevention-wellness/emotional-wellbeing/mental-health/stress-how-to-cope-better-with-lifes-challenges.html
  5. ↑ http://www.mayoclinic.org/healthy-lifestyle/stress-management/in-depth/social-support/art-20044445?pg=2
  6. ↑ http://www.mentalhealthamerica.net/conditions/stress-coping-everyday-problems
  7. ↑ http://blogs.psychcentral.com/thrive/2014/05/the-value-of-hobbies/
  8. ↑ http://psychcentral.com/lib/12-ways-to-shut-off-your-brain-before-bedtime/
  9. ↑ http://www.stress.org.uk/exercise.aspx
  10. ↑ http://www.mayoclinic.org/healthy-lifestyle/stress-management/in-depth/relaxation-technique/art-20045368?pg=2
  11. ↑ http://time.com/3562863/5-ways-to-be-more-empathetic/
  12. ↑ http://greatergood.berkeley.edu/article/item/six_habits_of_highly_empathic_people1
  13. ↑ http://www.austincc.edu/colangelo/1318/istatements.htm
  14. ↑ https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/your-wise-brain/201410/accept-them-they-are
  15. ↑ http://psychcentral.com/blog/archives/2008/11/14/you-can-only-change-yourself/
  16. ↑ https://www.mindtools.com/pages/article/how-to-apologize.htm
  17. ↑ http://bigthink.com/in-their-own-words/every-problem-is-an-opportunity
  18. ↑ http://www.viacharacter.org/www
  19. ↑ http://www.actionforhappiness.org/take-action/find-your-strengths-and-focus-on-using-them
  20. ↑ http://greatergood.berkeley.edu/article/item/ten_ways_to_become_more_grateful1/
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