Deal With Peer Pressure

Peer pressure is a big factor with children and teenagers. They can be pressured into drugs, drinking, smoking, sex, hanging out with a bad crowd, and even change their looks or personality. You can do many things to avoid and deal with peer pressure, whether you're responding to peers or changing your own actions.

Steps

Responding to Your Peers

  1. Dismiss the question. One way to respond is to dismiss their request. Tell them you're not interested. This takes advantage of the fact that the person may won't remember that they asked you earlier, and they likely will not ask again.
    • This works best for situations where you're offered something you don't want, like drugs, cigarettes, or alcohol. It doesn't work very well for situations where someone wants you to do something for them.
  2. Tell them "NO!" The most basic way to respond to peer pressure, and often the scariest, is to just say "NO!" It may not sound very fun or easy but this is the best way to respond. Say "NO!" and stay firm. This will save you the trouble of getting pressured again in the future, because it sends a clear message that you're not interested. You can say:
    • Sorry, I don't do the dirty stuff."
  3. Make a joke. You can also shut down a request from a peer by turning the request into a joke. This shows the person that you think the request is laughable, which will quickly tell them that you won't listen to them. This can be tricky to do if you're not the sort of person that makes jokes easily but with a little preparation, you can be ready for any situation.
    • "You want me to smoke cigarettes? Forget it! I don't want bad breath, numb taste buds, yellow teeth, and stained fingers - not to mention smelly clothes and hair!"
    • "'I"m not ready to do "adult" things yet. I still have a lot of growing up to do."
  4. Change the subject. When someone asks or tells you to do something that you don't want to do, there are lots of ways that you can respond. One way to respond that can help you avoid the issue is to just change the subject. By changing the subject, you can put off the question until you feel you're ready to respond in a different way. Avoid the situation enough might even send the message that you're just not going to listen, which can also save you some trouble. There are lots of ways that you can change the subject. You can:
    • Remember something you wanted to tell them about: "Did you try that new Italian restaurant that opened last week?"
    • Ask them a question: "Do you want to watch this movie with me? I've really been wanting to see it, but it's no fun watching it alone."
  5. Make an excuse to leave. Another option is to get out of the situation by leaving. Make an excuse for why you need to leave quickly. Apologize and get away, so that you can avoid them and maybe even think of a different way to handle the problem:[1] There are lots of great excuses you can use to leave:
    • Talk to your parents on the phone.
    • Remember a date you have with your friends.
    • Realize how late it is and say that you're extremely tired.
  6. Turn the pressure around. Another route which takes bravery but can help not only you but also the other person is to turn the peer pressure in the other direction. Use the opportunity to change their behavior instead of letting them change yours. This can be scary but it will go the furthest to saving you from peer pressure and maybe even helping someone you care about:[2]
    • You're having sex already? I hope you're using birth control and condoms to avoid an unwanted pregnancy or an STD."

Avoiding the Problem

  1. Be careful who you hang out with. The best way to avoid bad peer pressure is to avoid people who get into situations like that.[3] Sometimes, we become friends with people because they're cool and we want to be cool, too, but a lot of the time those people don't really care about us. Your real friends will understand when things make you uncomfortable and they won't pressure you into doing things you don't want to do.
    • Real friends won't pressure you, ask you to do things that are dangerous or make you uncomfortable. They will like you no matter what, even if you don't enjoy the same things that they enjoy. These are the kind of people that you should be friends with. People who judge you or pressure you just want someone that they can boss around, and you deserve better.
    • Now, this approach might mean having to make new friends. This might seem sad or scary but you can do it. By finding people who are more like you, you'll be much happier and you won't have to worry about peer pressure anymore.
    • Try meeting people that are more like you by paying attention to who is doing the same activities as you. For example, if you see someone else reading a book that you like, strike up a conversation with them about the book. Maybe recommend some other books that they might like. You'll be friends before you know it.
    • Even if you make new friends, that doesn't mean that you have to stop spending time with your old friends. Just spending less time with them or hanging out in situations where you're unlikely to encounter trouble will make your life a lot easier.
  2. Try to avoid situations that lead to peer pressure in the first place. Some of them may seem fun but it's much better to keep yourself safe. You never know when someone will decide that you don't know what's best for you and give you no choice in listening. Some common situations to avoid peer pressure include:
    • Parties with no adult supervision
    • A secluded date with your girlfriend or boyfriend, which includes too many opportunities to do something you might regret.
  3. Keep busy with healthy activities. Another way to avoid peer pressure is to spend leisure time doing activities that you really enjoy, instead of with people who will pressure you. Find another activity that you want to do but that will keep you busy.
    • For example, you can take a class in a subject that interests you from the local community center. If you don't have the money, you can usually get scholarships or a reduced rate if you ask.
    • Another option would be to get a job. This keeps you busy but it also lets you build your resume and make money. Not only will you stay away from peer pressure but really soon you'll have money for a car and a new PlayStation.
  4. Find better ways to impress people. Wanting to impress your friends is one of the most common reasons for giving in to peer pressure. However, if you find better ways to impress them, you won't feel like you need to submit to peer pressure like that.
    • For example, you can start learning a cool skill like mixing music or playing the guitar.
  5. Don't be afraid to ask for help or advice. The thing about peer pressure is that just about everyone - even adults - experience it.. Lots of people have found ways to deal with it and by asking for advice, you might find some really helpful techniques. Someone that knows you better might also be able to give you advice that's more specific to your situation. Just be sure that you're asking someone you really trust.
    • Talk to a trusted friend. Say something like: "Ava is really pressuring me to go to a party without adult supervision. Do I just say: '"My parents don't allow me to go to parties without adult supervision?"'
    • Talk to a trusted adult. You can say: "Some of the kids at school told me I'm not grown up if I don't smoke and I won't be invited to parties if I don't drink. What should I do?"

Building Your Confidence

  1. Establish and reinforce your convictions. Think about why you don’t want to do the sort of things that your peers are asking you to do. Do the activities conflict with your personal beliefs? Your religious beliefs? Do you think that what they’re asking involves too much risk? Recognize why you don’t want to do these things and then keep those convictions in mind when people ask you to do things. You can make your resolve even stronger by reading material that supports your convictions and talking to people who share them.
    • For example, if you don't want to smoke marijuana because you think its dangerous, go online and educate yourself on the risks associated with the drug. This way, you’ll have a very clear picture of the dangers and you can better educate people.
  2. Find other exciting things to do. Many times, people submit to peer pressure because they want to impress people or because they want to experience something exciting.. However, there are always better ways to add that kind of feeling to your life. Think about something else exciting that you've always wanted to try to get out there and do that instead. The right kinds of people will be impressed.
    • For example, maybe you really love video games. You can enter a video game tournament or start your own video game show using a service like YouTube or TwitchTV. This will make you feel cool without having to submit to peer pressure.
  3. Do things that make you proud of yourself. When you're confident, you'll feel more comfortable telling people "NO!" and a good way to gain confidence is to do lots of things that make you proud of yourself. When you do that, no one will be able to take those experiences away from you. When they say mean things, you won't care about their opinions.[4]
    • For example, you can volunteer with a local homeless shelter.
    • Another way to be proud of yourself is to work on developing a skill that you really want to have. Try taking up something like drawing or music.
  4. Make your own decisions. A good way to boost your confidence and make you more comfortable telling your peers "NO!" is to work on making more decisions for yourself in your everyday life. No one gains true skills without practicing and standing up for what they want. Taking control in situations is an absolute skill. You'll have to practice. Find little ways to take more control in your life and before you know it you'll be comfortable taking control in more and more serious situations.[5]
  5. Define yourself and do what matters to you. Don't spend time caring what other people think of you. It's not their life, it's yours! Instead, worry about what you think of you. Do things that make you feel good. Be the person that you want to be. In a few years, you'll be happy and successful, while they're working at the local 7 Eleven.
    • Eleanor Roosevelt, a very smart and important lady, once said something very smart about this: "No one can make you feel inferior without your consent." Don't give them your consent.



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Sources and Citations

  1. ↑ http://www.greatschools.org/parenting/behavior-discipline/3654-5-steps-resist-peer-pressure.gs
  2. ↑ http://kidshealth.org/kid/feeling/friend/peer_pressure.html#
  3. ↑ http://www.drugrehab.us/news/combat-peer-pressure/
  4. ↑ http://www.teensforlife.com/hot-topics/peer-pressure/
  5. ↑ http://www.yourlifecounts.org/blog/20-ways-avoid-peer-pressure

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