Deal with Upsetting or Stressful People at Work
When you are in a job, you can't always tell your boss, colleagues or even clients (if working in customer service) what you really feel. For example, if your colleagues are pestering you, you cannot tell them that directly, or you risk being fired. It can be difficult to stay professional when you are frustrated and just feel like venting, screaming and crying, but it's possible with some work.
Steps
- Take a break to observe your mind and process your feelings. Tell your colleagues you need a break; for example, say "Excuse me, I need to go to the restroom" or "I need to get something out of my car". Perhaps, go breathe and meditate in the bathroom for 15 minutes, or if you are very angry even, you can even go into your car and scream and rip newspapers until you've let everything out!
- Make sure you have calmed down completely before you go back to your workplace. If you are still frustrated and upset when you get back, you could end up saying something subconsciously that you regret. You can't take back whatever you say.
- Stay mindful as you approach the upsetting situation or person. Pay attention without judgment, and take breaths as you need to calm down. Just be fully in the moment and listen to the person, read the email, etc. If you feel angrier as you listen in on the situation, keep breathing and taking time to stay calm and attentive so you don't make a heated response.
- Respond appropriately. For example, if you received a rude email from a client or colleague, you may feel like saying "Oh my gosh, you're so rude and I don't even want to respond of you because of how you treated me! I'm SO angry right now!" but that is very unprofessional.
- Think about your "filter" -- the self-control mechanism embedded in your brain that prevents you from showing your true feelings. Instead of saying that the person was rude, you could try writing a message like this: "Good morning Evelyn, thank you for letting me know that our software is not working for you. I will speak to my team and we will look into the issue, fix as needed, and we promise to do a better job in the future".
- Vent if you need to. Confide in a friend or family -- or anyone else that is not involved in your job about the frustrating issue. Also, take a bath, rest or do whatever else you need to calm you down. You can even take leave for a mental health day if your workplace allows it.
