Encourage Someone to See a Therapist

Therapy has been proven to help people of all ages with issues ranging from depression and anxiety to phobias and substance abuse problems. Many people are hesitant or resistant to therapy for a number of reasons. If someone you know is in need of therapy, there are ways to broach the subject without causing unwanted shame or embarrassment for your friend or loved one. Knowing how to do so in an unobtrusive way is crucial to succeeding at getting your loved ones the help they need.

Steps

Encouraging Someone Who Attaches Stigma to Therapy

1. Tell your friend/loved one that what she feels is normal. Whether the person you're encouraging to see a therapist is suffering from a mental disorder, or addiction, or simply going through a hard time, telling your loved one that what she feels is normal is the first step to detaching therapy from stigmas. Remind your friend or loved one that people of their age, gender, ethnicity, nationality, and people with their same struggle can and do attend therapy without stigma or shame.
2. Remind your loved one that her problems are caused by a medical condition. Depression, anxiety, and phobias are all medical problems. Addiction is also, at its root, a medical problem.
   • Try comparing therapy to seeing a doctor for any other medical condition. Ask your loved one, "You wouldn't avoid seeing a doctor for a heart or lung problem, right? So how is this any different?"
3. Reiterate that everyone needs help sometimes. According to recent studies, 27% of adults in America have sought and received some type of treatment for mental health-related issues. That's more than one in four, on average, or about 80 million people.
   • Try saying something like, "I'm here for you, no matter what. I would not think any less of you for needing to get help."
4. Let your loved one know that you support her. Hearing you tell her that you wouldn't view her any differently for going to therapy might help reassure your loved one that there aren't any real stigmas attached to therapy.

Encouraging Someone Who Is Afraid of Therapy

1. Ask your loved one to pinpoint what it is she's afraid of. Getting your loved one to open up to you about specific fears and concerns may be a good first step toward getting that person to see a therapist.
   • Try opening the conversation by admitting to some of your own fears and worries. This might make the dialogue feel like more of a conversation about fear and therapy, rather than a command to get help.
   • If you have any other friends who have had success with therapy, consider citing that person as an example of how effective therapy can be.
   • You can also ask your friend who has been through therapy to discuss their experiences with your loved on to help pacify their fears and to answer questions.
2. Address each fear with logic. Logic and reason are the only things that will successfully dismantle fear and negative thinking.
   • If your loved one is afraid that therapy becomes a never-ending cycle, let her know that this is not the case. Most cognitive behavioral therapy sessions span the course of 10-20 sessions, though some may go on for longer or shorter time periods. Some psychotherapy sessions can span the course of 1-2 years, depending on the issues being addressed, though some patients feel better after just one session. And remember, your loved one can always decide that she has been to enough sessions. There is no locked-in agreement.
   • If your loved one is afraid of the cost of therapy, help her look for therapists that take insurance or work for reduced fees.
   • No matter what your friend or loved one is afraid of, try to alleviate each concern by telling her, "That won't be a problem" and offering some kind of solution or course of action.
   • Some therapists offer a free consultation over the phone before committing to an appointment. This might provide your loved one with an opportunity to ask questions about their fears, and to also begin the process of getting to know the therapist.
3. Help your loved one find a therapist. Finding a therapist to meet your loved one's needs can be easily done online. The American Psychological Association offers a free psychologist-locator service at http://locator.apa.org/.
4. Offer to accompany your loved one to the office on her first visit. You probably won't be able to join her during the session, but having someone there to support her might make the transition into therapy a little easier. Some therapists may even allow you to join the session, with your loved one's consent, of course.

Encouraging Someone Who Worries About Being Vulnerable in Therapy

1. Let your loved one know about doctor-patient confidentiality. What your loved one says in therapy is generally protected and kept private.
   • Remember that these laws differ by state and by country, but all therapists are required to disclose the details of confidentiality verbally and in writing. You can ask for a copy of their informed consent agreement prior to making the appointment.
2. Ask your loved one what about vulnerability she finds frightening. Remind your loved one that it can be very relieving to cry or to talk about a problem with someone else. According to recent surveys, nearly 89% of people feel somewhat better after having an emotional release like crying, and doctors widely recommend talking about problems as a means of finding relief.
   • Try telling your friend or loved one, "It's okay to open yourself up to someone. It's what we do to friends and significant others. You need to build a relationship with a therapist, and open honesty is the only way to do that."
   • Remind your loved one that it can be scary dealing with feelings, especially if they have been suppressing them, but that therapists are trained to help clients process and deal with strong feelings in a way that is safe and to prevent being overwhelmed.
3. Remind your loved one about the potential outcome. The worst thing that could happen from going to therapy is that nothing will change. But the best-case scenario is that your loved one will find comfort, relief, and a new perspective on life.
   • Reiterate to your friend or loved one once again that you care about her and are there for her, no matter what happens.
   • Encourage your loved one to be open and honest with their therapist and explain to their therapist what is not working. The therapist may have a different approach to try or may help your loved one find a therapist who is be better suited to help them.

Tips

• Suggest that your loved one speak with her doctor about the need for therapy and seek recommendations and support through this channel. This is important because a therapist cannot recommend drugs unless they are medically qualified. Her primary care doctor might consider anti-depressants, or other medication, to be an essential part of the course of overall treatment.
• Help your loved one find and research a therapist online. Offer to schedule the appointments if she is too nervous to do it alone.
• Try online medical sources like http://locator.apa.org/ to find a doctor in your area.

Warnings

• If the person is suicidal, don't spend time wondering; get professional help immediately.
• You may have to tell your loved one the same things over and over again. It may take months. You may feel exhausted, frustrated or even disoriented. It may feel like talking to a wall. Do not lose hope. Try to remember how important they are to you. Remember acts of love are sometimes very difficult. You might find yourself wondering if you are really helping. Yes, you are. Be strong, they need you.
• Always check the credentials of a therapist. Every doctor will have professional credentials that can be verified online or over the phone. If in doubt, contact the relevant associations that regulate professionals. Your loved one's primary care doctor should also be able to help with any verification needed.

Related Articles

• Choose a Therapist
• Hire a Child Therapist

Sources and Citations

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• Find Substance Abuse Treatment
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