Fight Like a Man

Even if you're not a man, sometimes you need to do some real damage. If you really don't know how to fight, this article will teach you. Keep in mind that these tips should only be used in a desperate situation and you can't go around fighting everyone.

Steps

  1. Act tough. Even if you feel pretty crappy, you need to look like you don't. Even if you're scared, you need to look like you're not. If you look intimidated, your opponent will walk all over you without even thinking twice. You might not even need a fight if you act tough enough, you could scare your opponent into laying off. If you think about it logically, your opponent might just be acting tough and scaring you, why can't you do the same?
  2. Trash talk. A good fight doesn't start with just a punch in the face, it starts with trash talking. If there's an audience (a bunch of people watching), you can get them on your side with some trash talking. This will motivate you to win and probably make your target feel pretty bad about themselves. Think of some good comebacks before the fight but make sure it doesn't seem too scripted when you use them. Let everything flow.
  3. Pushing. After the trash talking, it's the pushing. A good, strong push will make your opponent look weak and possibly push them to the floor, knocking a bunch of wind out of them. However, an even stronger push can knock you to the floor so be warned. At first, you don't really want to push your opponent down, just rough them up and tire them out. Be careful! Everything you throw can, and probably will, be returned to you. Try not to move or fall if you do get a shove.
  4. Wait for them to punch you. If you throw the first punch, you can be held responsible for everything. You don't want that, do you? However, if they throw the first punch, you can claim that you were defending yourself and not trying to start a fight. You opponent will probably be waiting for you to punch them so this can take some time but don't give in. You could end up paying a hefty fine or worse, prison.
  5. Jab at the head or gut. These places hurt the most and a good punch to the head or gut can wind your opponent or possibly knock them out. Even if you can't do either of the two, it will still hurt them a bunch. A weak punch can make you look a bit weak so get straight in there with the hardest punch you've got. They'll probably be protecting their head so go for the gut if you can.
  6. Save yourself. If you're getting battered, don't run. Just protect wherever you're getting hit by blocking their shots. Every time you get hit, you will definitely get more tired so you won't be able to fight for much longer. Try using this to your advantage, batter your opponent so they can't batter you. Also, if you keep blocking their shots, they'll get tired and you won't.
  7. Switch it up. If you use the same kick-punch pattern, your opponent will figure it out and use it against you. To avoid this, switch up the way you fight and where you throw your punches and kicks. Even though you know their weak spots, if you keep punching them in the gut they'll just protect their gut. However, if you switch it up, they'll find it hard to block every part of their body and attack you at the same time, right?
  8. Hold your ground. The fight is only going to end if a really brave person breaks it up or if someone's on the ground. Don't try to run, no matter how long it goes on for. Running will make you seem really weak and probably get you beaten up even more. Also, make sure it looks like you're not tired and you can go for much longer. If the fight finally gets broken up, just walk off. If you lose, at least you can say you fought until the end.

Tips

  • Be sure to be flexible in your fighting style, so as not to be figured out by your opponent. This will be crucial in fighting someone with higher skills, but a person fairly new to fighting won't think to analyze you in that way.
  • Buy or make a punching bag to practice on.
  • If you know you can't win, just leave it. If you really need to fight, start working out so you look intimidating. On the day of the fight, wear a ring that could hurt your target.
  • Bring some friends that work out to look even scarier.

Warnings

  • Your opponent will probably bring their friends so try to get them on their own.
  • Nothing says "I got beaten up" like bruises and a black eye, watch out.
  • Don't start a fight for no reason, you'll look like a bully.
  • Don't overdo it, if you've won, you've won. If you take it too far, (repeatedly beating on them while they lie helplessly on the ground) then you aren't exactly going to get a pat on the back from your local authorities.

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