Find Your Strengths when You Have Anxiety

Everyone has strengths, but when you have anxiety, you might be in the habit of only looking at your weaknesses. Like a faulty mirror, anxiety often warps your self-image, leaving you feeling unconfident about yourself and unsure of what you’re good at. Finding your strengths will help you become happier and more productive in all areas of your life, and it may even help you tame your anxiety. To figure out where your strengths lie, start by fighting back against the low self-esteem that anxious people often experience. Then do some introspecting about your best qualities, and ask the people around you for their perspective, too.

Steps

Overcoming Low Self-Esteem

1. Look at yourself in a positive light. Remind yourself that you do have strengths and good qualities, even if you’re not perfect. Instead of focusing on your normal, human mistakes, think about the times you’ve succeeded at something.
   • The way you talk to yourself has a big impact on your self-image. Talk to yourself in a kind, encouraging way, and don’t say anything to yourself that you wouldn’t say to a friend.
   • For instance, instead of saying to yourself, “I’m terrible at this,” tell yourself, “I’ve never done this before, but I’ll get better with more practice.”
2. Avoid comparing yourself to others. When you’re too worried about how you stack up to other people, it’s easy to lose sight of your own unique strengths. Focus on yourself, and don’t try to compete with people whose personalities and life experience may be completely different from yours.
   • For example, if you compare yourself to a friend who doesn't have anxiety, you are being unreasonable. They don't have the same experiences as you, so it's an unfair assessment.
3. Consider the strengths that often go along with anxiety. Living with anxiety isn’t fun, but there are a few positives to the situation. Anxious people often have good personal qualities like self-control, bravery, kindness, and cautiousness. Think about whether your anxiety may have instilled some positive character traits in you.
   • For instance, because you often have anxiety in social situations, you might be very forgiving of others who aren't social butterflies.
4. Try new things. Give yourself room to grow by getting out of your comfort zone. Put yourself in unfamiliar situations, learn new things, and give yourself permission to fail. Expanding your horizons will give your self-esteem a boost, and you might discover some of your strengths at the same time.
   • For example, you could travel somewhere new or pick up a part-time volunteer job.
   • Pushing yourself outside your comfort zone might be difficult at first, but as you practice doing it more, it will get easier.

Assessing Your Personal Strengths

1. Write down which activities or situations make you feel best. Think about the times you feel most energized and engaged, and try to pinpoint what you like about those situations. The activities that make you feel most like yourself probably make use of your strengths. Make a list of the ones you come up with.
   • For instance, if you feel most alive when you work on a project with other people, communication and teamwork might be a couple of your strengths.
2. Reflect on those situations that you anticipate the most. Which activities do you love writing down in your planner? If you find yourself looking forward to particular events, activities, or challenges, it’s a good bet that they involve your strengths.
   • For example, if you look forward to going back to school every year, learning is probably one of your strengths.
3. Recall your most noteworthy achievements. Look back over the last few years and think about your achievements, big and small. Identify the ones that make you feel best about yourself and your abilities. Then think about whether those achievements have anything in common.
   • For instance, if you’re proud of winning a dance competition and acing a big test, one of your strengths might be staying cool in high-pressure situations.
4. Pay attention to the skillset you use at work or school. Your “work personality” can give you valuable information about your strengths. Ask yourself which of your skills and abilities serve you best as you complete your everyday responsibilities, and think about your go-to strategy when you need to solve a problem.
   • For example, if you get your projects done by working quickly and efficiently on your own, your strengths might include being self-directed and motivated.
5. Keep a journal. Writing in a journal regularly is a good way to track your behavior and feelings, which can give you insight into your strengths. Make a habit of writing daily or weekly, and look for patterns in your thoughts and actions.

Getting an Outside Perspective

1. Ask for other people’s opinions on your strengths. Sometimes it takes an outside perspective to get an accurate look at ourselves. Ask your friends, family members, and co-workers for their honest opinion on your strengths. Pay attention to patterns and similarities in their replies.
   • Ask a wide variety of people to get a well-rounded picture of your personality. For instance, instead of just asking family members, try asking an old friend, a co-worker, and a classmate as well.
   • Some people may give you constructive criticism or tell you about your weaknesses as well. Don’t ask for anyone’s opinion unless you are prepared to deal with this.
2. Notice the times when you are praised by others. Ask yourself what kind of positive feedback you get from your friends, bosses, and teachers. If people frequently point out that you’re good at something, it’s probably one of your strengths.
   • For example, your best bud might say, "Gee, I wish I was as creative as you. My art project was terrible." This demonstrates that they think you're creative, which may be a strength of yours.
3. Take a quiz. Character self-assessments can help you get a more objective look at your personality. The University of Pennsylvania’s VIA Survey of Character Strengths is one well-known questionnaire for finding your strong points. University career centers also usually offer tests that help you identify your strengths.
   • Answer the questions honestly, or your results won’t be accurate.

Sources and Citations

See also

• Use Cooking for Stress Relief
• Stop Worrying About Things You Cannot Control
• Reduce Stress
• Deal With Exam Stress
• Relieve Stress
• Deal With Stress
• Reduce Stress With Martial Arts
• Spot and Avoid Secondhand Stress
• Relieve Stress by Drawing
• Overcome Being Burned Out

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