Flirt on Facebook

Somehow, even with all the official dating sites online, — a great number of people remain single and looking for love. Based on the "Six Degrees of Separation" principle[1], the chances are pretty good that there is somebody on your Friend's list (or on your own friend's list) that might strike your fancy. This article will help you turn that flight of fancy into an opportunity to flirt and more!

Steps

  1. Update your profile. When you start making passes, the first thing the object of your desire is going to do is pull up your timeline and profile. In face-to-face flirting, the first thing somebody will see are your eyes and your smile. What do they see when they look at yours?
    • A friendly face and smile in your profile pic, and an interesting cover photo gives the impression that you're probably a smart, fun person—somebody that would be fun to hang with.
    • An overtly political, religious, or opinion message as your cover photo will send a very strong signal—one that may or may not be appreciated, and certainly more risky than something geared more to your personality than your beliefs.
    • If you planning on flirting with a friend of a friend, be sure to set the privacy options of your profile so that things you want to share—profile pics, certain albums, the About Me section—are all viewable by friends of friends at least.
  2. Just say no to puppy pics. Pictures of animals are cute. But unless you're a dog or cat that's learned to navigate the internet, save the pet pictures for an album. Similarly, using a movie star's image, or a Simpson-esque cartoon caricature of yourself is best left somewhere other than your profile image. Silly photos and pet photos send a couple of signals: one is that you may not be attractive, and the second, that you may be very private. Neither of these are bad, in and of themselves—but if you're going to flirt on a social network, they're counterproductive.
    • If you're insecure about your looks, have a professional portrait done. Photographers are experts at how to best present their subjects, and will likely do a much better job than you holding your phone out and doing a self portrait.
    • If you really love your puppies, or really think looking like a Simpsons character is fun, that's wonderful! Have lots of photo albums with all the fun pictures you want—as long as they are not profile pictures.
    • Try not to load up your photo album with endless pictures of ex lovers. Somebody might get the idea that you're a player, and nobody likes to be played.
    • If you are very protective of your privacy, then reconsider flirting on Facebook. Find a mutual friend or two, and get together the old-fashioned way: with a face-to-face introduction.
  3. Don't draw out the approach. If you're interested in somebody, don't lurk, especially after you've made "eye" contact by commenting on a post or photo. Just like if you're in a social setting, if you make eye contact, don't cross the room to say hello, but constantly steal furtive glances, you're going to gradually increase the creep factor.
    • Instead of your interest thinking "He (or she) is pretty cute," they'll soon be thinking to themselves, "Why does that person keep staring at me?"
    • If you've noticed them, and you've commented on a message or photo or two (or three), the next step is clear:
  4. Make a move. If there's a comment you find interesting, or a photo that really is good, drop them a message and tell them. You don't have to gush, and you don't have to critique—you just have to be interesting enough to get a response. That's it!
    • For guys, if you're bold, and you know the girl, try using a pickup line. Don't do this if you don't know the girl, however, because chances are she'll just ignore you:
      • "My heart is mine but whenever I argue with it about you, it takes your side. Can you make it stop?"
      • "Your profile picture is absolutely the most stunning picture I have seen in the past three minutes."
      • "You are the first person who has been able to make my heart beat slower and faster at the same time."
    • If you don't know the person you're about to flirt with and just happened on their profile, go for a more indirect approach:
      • "Hi, you don't know me, but I came across your profile and it made me stop. I'm glad I did. You seem like a really interesting person."
      • "Hi. You know how Facebook is a jungle? Well, I was doing my Tarzan thing and I came across you. And now there's no real reason to move on. How are you?"
      • "Hi, I really never do this, but your profile just made me want to talk to you, which I imagine you get a lot. A penny for your thoughts?"
    • If they respond, keep the chat going. Find out more about them, and keep a sense of interest and playfulness going. It doesn't have to be a comedy routine—just let them know that you're somebody who enjoys life, and enjoys them. They'll make the connection.
  5. Work the friend angle. Facebook is a social network, after all, so it's perfectly natural for you to use your friends as something to talk about and someone to relate to. If you're on good terms with a mutual friend, they'll be more likely to give you a chance.
    • Talk about something funny, amazing, weird a friend did. It might make you seem gracious and/or good-humored.
      • "Did you see what [mutual friend] posted on his wall? I thought only girls screamed like that!"
      • "That piece that [mutual friend] sent you the other day. So cool, isn't it? I guess we're lucky that the Internet is so...weird?!"
      • "What an awesome video you posted on [mutual friend's] wall. Have you seen this one? Shades of grey, I guess you could say!"
    • Discuss your mutual friend. Asking direct, non-suggestive questions about the person you both know will help develop an easier comfort between you two.
      • "How do you know [mutual friend]? [Mutual friend] tells me that you're definitely a person I should know."
      • "How long have you known [mutual friend]? I shouldn't admit this but I was there when [mutual friend] was born."
  6. Become a regular commenter on their posts. Not all of them, all the time: that's moving into "creepy stalker" territory. On the other hand, interesting posts or pictures are a good chance to continue to develop rapport.
    • Keep your comments concise and appropriate. Comments that are lengthy, deep, and provocative may work for emails and conversations, but are tedious for both your special friend and for the other people following their post.
    • The best approach for online flirting is to keep the objective in mind: flirting! Commenting on their posts should become secondary. The area to develop is the private chat, and you should have a good sense within a couple days if there is something there to pursue.
  7. If you're feeling mighty confident, go for an all-out flirt. No more suggestive remarks, or one-liners, or questions about your mutual friend. Tell them how you feel. Not all will respond, but some will be flattered by your complete honesty.
    • If you're flirting with a guy, this step is easier than cutting pie:
      • "Hey there. Why doesn't a handsome guy like you have a girlfriend? You seem like quite a catch."
      • "Hi. I just wanted to say that you make me a little crazy, in a good way. Wanna go for coffee?"
      • "I'm not usually this forward, but I want to get to know you better. Will you let me?"
    • If you're flirting with a girl, you have to be a little more careful and poetic with what you say:
      • "I know that we don't know each other too well, but I think we'd hit it off if we gave it a chance. I'll respect your decision either way; I want you to feel comfortable. But I couldn't at least not try."
      • "I don't usually say this to girls, but I think you're beautiful. I know I don't have much more go off of just quite yet, but I really want to get to know you."
      • "I don't want to sound too forward, but do you know the effect you have on me? I can't speak for other guys, but I keep thinking about you because I can't get you out of my mind. I don't want to be rude, but I'd love to talk with you more in person."
  8. Know when to hold 'em, know when to fold 'em. If your flirtations are working, you will have graduated from comments about her kitten to double entendres, suggestive (not crass) remarks, and growing perception of things to come.
    • If you've reached this point, wait no longer. Propose a date. It might be dinner at that new restaurant, or a movie by that director you both love, or an Ansel Adams exhibit. Make it something you both will be sure to like, since you've already built that foundation. You have built that foundation, haven't you?
    • On the other hand, if you've been met with a stone wall, s/he just might not be that into you. If so, don't keep following up on the chat, back off the comments (unless there's something virtually anybody—not just a romantic interest—might find interesting, and set your sights on somebody more accessible.
  9. Be yourself! We've saved the best flirting tip for last, and it applies to Facebook flirting and real life, too! If you are really interested in somebody, and they respond to your overtures, be confident—that's the biggest turn on there is. Have fun!

Tips

  • There could be times when the person might not respond. If that happens, He/She probably isn't interested, or maybe you just got them at the wrong time. Don't just blame yourself though.
  • If you are trying to say a clever line when you chat on Facebook, start by using proper grammar and punctuation. Until you know each other better, using emoticons and extra letters makes you look more juvenile than anything else. Somebody is more likely to say yes to "Hey, I was just wondering if you wanted to go to a concert Friday?" than to "Hay ws wndring u wnt 2 go 2 cncrt frid.????? :)" or "Heyyy, I was just wondering if u wanted to go on a concert on fridayy :D"
  • The occasional smiley face can be helpful when flirting with girls, it makes them feel more connected and less impersonal. When in doubt, use emoticons rarely or never—learn to express your emotions without writing, and the literate world will beat a path to your door. Just make sure you have enough food in the pantry!
  • If the person uses apps, try using the the same ones too. It's another way to develop something in common.
  • Create photo albums that people can browse. Load them up with scenes from your life, so that anybody who might respond to your flirts has something to look at that will add depth to how they perceive you. Flirting is, by nature, shallow. Giving people a window into what you actually do will help them move in a little deeper.

Warnings

  • Having very few friends and pictures on Facebook might make people less receptive to flirting, and some might even think you're a spammer, creep, or worse. You can improve your social situation by making—and then adding—friends.

Related Articles

Sources and Citations

  1. ↑ https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Six_degrees_of_separation

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