Formally Address British Royalty and Aristocracy in Person

A long history of etiquette establishes how to show respect to a member of the British aristocracy. In the modern day, no one requires these courtesies, and you're unlikely to annoy the noble as long as you are polite. However, if you would like to avoid embarrassment at a formal event, it only takes a moment to discover the preferred mode of address of the other guests.

Steps

Formal Address Cheat Sheet

Doc:British Nobility Titles

Addressing the British Royal Family

1. Greet royalty with a small bow or curtsy. These are the most formal greetings, but they are never required, even for subjects of the Queen. If you are a man and you choose this approach, bow your head slightly at the neck. If you are a woman, give a small curtsy: put your right foot behind your left, then briefly bend at the knees while keeping your upper body and neck vertical.
   • Deep curtsies are not a faux pas, but they are uncommon and difficult to do gracefully. Deep bows from the waist, on the other hand, are never performed in this situation.
   • Perform this greeting when the royal family member passes by you, or when you are presented.
2. Consider a small nod or bob instead. Instead of bowing or curtsying, you may give a small nod (traditionally male) or bob by briefly bending your knees (female). This is a typical choice for people who are not citizens of the Commonwealth, since they have no fealty to British royalty. This is also perfectly acceptable for Commonwealth citizens.
3. Shake hands only if the offer is extended. The Royal Family's website states that shaking hands is also an acceptable form of greeting, alone or in addition to one of the modes above. However, you should wait for the Royal Family Member to extend his or her hand first, and use only a light touch with one hand. Do not initiate any physical contact yourself.
   • If you are wearing dress gloves (which is certainly not required), men should remove the gloves before shaking hands, while women may leave them on.
4. Let the royal personage take the lead in conversation. Wait until he or she greets you before you speak. Avoid changing the subject, and do not ask any personal questions.
   • Foreigners should resist the urge to speak "proper" if it comes across as an imitation of an English accent. The Queen and her relatives have spoken with thousands of people around the world, and do not expect you to speak as they do.
5. Use the full formal address in your first reply. If addressed by royalty, your first response should end with the long form of respectful address. For example, if the Queen asks you "How are you enjoying the United Kingdom?" you could respond, "It's wonderful, Your Majesty." For all other members of the royal family besides the Queen, your first response should use "Your Royal Highness" instead.
6. Use short forms of address for the rest of the conversation. All female members of the Royal Family, including the Queen, should be addressed as "Ma'am", with a short "a" as in "jam". Address all male members as "Sir".
   • If you mention a royal family member in the third person, always use a full title (such as "The Prince of Wales") or "His/Her Royal Highness". Referring to someone by name ("Prince Philip" ) may be considered rude.
   • Note that the correct title for the Queen is "Her Majesty the Queen". Avoid "Queen of England", as that is just one of many titles that refer to a specific country.
7. Repeat the same greeting when the Royal Family member leaves. Use the same bow, curtsy, or less traditional greeting as a respectful farewell when the meeting comes to an end.
8. Contact the Royal Household if you have further questions. The staff of the Royal Household is happy to answer etiquette questions. If you are not sure of the preferred title for a particular royal, or the expectations for hosting a particular event, enquire by post or telephone:
   • (+44) (0)20 7930 4832
   • Public Information Officer
     Buckingham Palace
     London SW1A 1AA

Addressing British Nobility

1. Address dukes and duchesses by title. These belong to the highest grade of peerage. Address them as "Duke" or "Duchess". After the initial greeting, you may address them the same way or as "Your Grace".
   • As with any title, you do not need to include the location ("Duke of Mayfair") unless it is necessary to avoid confusion.
   • If you are making a formal introduction, say "His/Her Grace the Duke/Duchess" followed by the rest of the title.
2. Refer to all lower ranks by Lady and Lord. In conversation and verbal introductions, avoid reference to all other titles besides Duke or Duchess. Use "Lady" and "Lord" instead, followed by the last name. The following titles are only used in formal or legal correspondence:
   • Marchioness and Marquis
   • Countess and Earl
   • Viscountess and Viscount
   • Baroness and Baron
3. Address the peer's children by courtesy titles. This can get slightly complicated, so look up the exact scenario below:
   • Address the son of a duke or marquess as "Lord" followed by the first name.
   • Address to the daughter of a duke, marquess, or earl as "Lady" followed by the first name.
   • If you will be meeting a peer's heir apparent (generally the eldest son), look up his title. He will often use a secondary title of his father's, which is always of a lower rank.
   • In all other cases, the child has no special title. ("The Hon." is used only in writing.)
4. Speak with baronets and knights. Use the following guide when talking to someone who holds these non-noble distinctions:
   • Baronet or Knight: "Sir" followed by the first name
   • Baronetess and Dame: "Dame" followed by the first name
   • Wife of a baronet or knight: "Lady" followed by the first name
   • Husband of a baronetess or dame: no special title

Tips

• The person's own expressed preference about how they would like to be addressed overrides the general rules.
• If you are giving a speech for the Queen, begin with "May it please Your Majesty" and conclude with "Ladies and gentlemen, I ask you to rise and join me in a toast to The Queen!"
• The Queen occasionally grants knighthoods to non-subjects, but these honors do not add a title. In other words, address an English knight as "Sir" but an American knight as "Mr".
• You wouldn't normally give a peer's exact rank during an introduction.
• A peer's wife is introduced as "Lady Trowbridge" (not "Lady Honoria Trowbridge," which would imply that she has some other rank of her own birth family).
• Particularly in the higher ranks, it is often the case that the person's surname is different from their title ("Duke of __" or "Duke __"). Don't use the surname.
• Great-grandchildren in the male line of the monarch are not considered princes or princesses. Use the courtesy titles lord or lady for these personages, addressing them as, for example, "Lady Jane" and introducing them as "Lady Jane Windsor" (unless they have a different title of their own).

Warnings

• If you are caught unprepared, it's probably better to admit ignorance rather than "winging it." If possible, ask a protocol officer or another un-ranked or lower-ranked person.
• This article deals specifically with meeting British peers and royalty. Aristocracies in other countries may have different etiquette, and (unlike the British) may punish you for failing to observe the correct codes of behavior.

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Sources and Citations

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