Get Birth Control Without Parents Knowing

Birth control is a method to prevent a woman from getting pregnant. While effective against pregnancy, not all birth controls protect both partners from STDs.[1] If you are sexually active but don't want to tell your parents, there are ways to practice safe sex without them knowing.

Steps

Preparing For Contraceptives

  1. Be informed about your rights. Research minor consent laws in your states. Many methods of obtaining birth control requires a visit to a physician. Teens under the age of 18 may have to obtain parental permission or the physician may have the right to notify the parents. In many states, teens 16 years of age and older can go to the doctor without parental consent.
    • Title X, a federal family planning program, provides teens with greater confidentiality in regards to reproductive health.[2]
    • Some states, like Utah and Mississippi, have laws preventing minors from obtaining contraceptives from a physician without parental consent.[3] To know the sex laws of your states, try this interactive map or this chart. Even if your state allows minors to obtain contraceptives without parents' permission, the ages might differ. Before you try to get birth control, be informed about your rights.
  2. Find a suitable clinic. After you have researched consent laws in your state, find a clinic. This can be a doctor's office, the local health department, a school clinic, or a Title X clinic, like Planned Parenthood.
    • Even if the state law prevents minors from obtaining contraceptives without parental consent at a physician's office, you can go to a Title X clinic to receive confidential reproductive care. This Title X Guarantees List outlines the clinics and offices covered under Title X. Use this list to find a clinic near you.
    • Call the clinic and ask about your rights as a minor. Remember, you have the right to know and the right to ask.
    • Make sure to tell your clinic you want the information to remain confidential. This may be an unnecessary step since your information should stay confidential, but double-checking that your information will remain private will give you peace of mind.
  3. Decide how you will pay. Birth control and clinic visits aren't free. Most minors are on their parents' insurance plans, and if you are trying to keep the birth control a secret, it is not advisable to use their insurance.
    • Many Planned Parenthood clinics offer reduced rate or free visits for uninsured minors who qualify for no-pay rates.[4] Planned Parenthood also offers free insurance for people who cannot afford it.
  4. Know the risks. Since many contraceptives are pills or inserted into a female's body, there can be side effects. Being consistent with the contraceptive method is also important to prevent pregnancy.
    • If you are taking birth control pills, take them as directed. Missing even a single pill puts you at risk for pregnancy. Missing more pills increases that risk.[5]
    • Some contraceptives have side effects. Talk to your doctor or read the literature with your contraceptive to understand these risks.
  5. Consider discussing your birth control with your parents or guardians. Think about if talking to your parents about having sex and getting birth control is a good option. Sometimes teens are so terrified to admit to having or thinking about having sex. They believe they will disappoint their parents, or that their parents will get angry. Think about your parents or guardians - do you truly believe they will have a problem? Or do you think they will be accepting?
    • One way to figure out how your parents will react is to drop hints. Mention the school's free condoms. Talk to them about a friend's sexual questions and experience. Ask them questions about sex in general. Their reactions can help you figure out if they would be open to your concerns about sex.
    • Think about how they treat you and your boyfriend or girlfriend. How strict are they? Are they happy or unhappy you have found someone to date? How do they react to the idea of you kissing another person?
    • If talking to your parents is the right thing for you to do, be honest with them. By choosing to take contraceptives, you are demonstrating that you are being responsible and mature.[6]

Choosing a Contraceptive

  1. Get a prescription for the pill. Birth control pills, also called oral contraceptives, are pills that are ingested orally and contain hormones. When taken correctly, the pill is 99.9% effective in preventing pregnancy.[7]
    • Birth control pills must be taken every day, preferably at the same time.
    • If you are trying to hide this from your parents, take them at a time when you know you will be alone, like in the morning or at night. If you spend the night elsewhere, make sure you take your pills with you to prevent missing one.
    • Find a safe, private place to hide your pills. Parents are most likely to check bathroom cabinets, nightstands, and under the mattress. Instead, try something more creative. Put it in a DVD case or an old textbook. Place it in a coin purse, or in the pocket of your purse. Keep it in a sock in your drawer. Make sure the hiding place isn't conspicuous or obvious to a parent who may go snooping.
    • Even if you don't have insurance, most birth control prescriptions range from $15-$50.[8]
    • Ask your doctor for a free trial. They might give you for up to three months free.
    • Oral contraceptives do not prevent STDs. This is extremely important to remember. Just because you are preventing yourself from getting pregnant does not mean you are protected from STDs and HIV.
  2. Choose an IUD. An IUD, an intrauterine device, is a small T-shaped plastic device inserted into the uterus. IUD's must be inserted by a health care professional.[9] They are extremely successful in preventing pregnancies.
    • IUDs can be hidden from your parents. The only person who will know you have an IUD is your partner.[10]
    • IUDs are long-term contraceptives. They can last between 5-12 years. They are removable, but it is not recommended to remove them on a whim. Choosing an IUD is a serious commitment.
    • The price of an IUD varies. They range from $0-1000. Talk to your health care provider to make sure this is the right choice for you.
    • IUDs do not prevent STDs or HIV.
  3. Go for a patch, ring, or shot. If pills require too much dedication, and an IUD is too much of a commitment, try one of these other methods. They might be a better choice for your needs.
    • The patch is placed on your arm once a week for three weeks. During the fourth week, no patch is applied. A prescription is required for this method.[11]
    • The patch may not be the best method if you are trying to hide from your parents. If the part of the skin is seen by your parents, they might ask questions or find out. If you are serious about keeping your birth control a secret from your parents, the patch is probably the last option you should choose.
    • The birth control shot is an injection method. Hormones are injected into the arm, and the effects last for three months. This is an extremely effective method, as long as you consistently get your shot every three months.[12] This is the most private birth control method. Parents nor your partner will know you have gotten the shot unless you tell them.[10]
    • The birth control ring is a ring inserted into the vagina. The ring remains inside for three weeks, and then removed for one week.[13] The ring is safe and effective, and obtained with a prescription. Your parents won't find the ring while you are wearing it. As long as you keep the refill hidden, and dispose of the old ring and the box for the new one privately, your parents won't find out. However, your partner will know you have a ring.
    • The cost of these methods range from $0-80.
    • None of these methods prevent STDs or HIV.
  4. Buy condoms. One of the easiest birth control methods is a condom. Condoms come in both male and female varieties, and can be found at most major retailers. If you are too embarrassed to buy condoms in a store, or fear parents finding out, most health clinics provide them for free, as do some school clinics.
    • Make sure to Hide-a-Condom in a safe, inconspicuous place. Keep them in a DVD case, an old book, in a sock in your drawer, or in a change purse. Avoid placing condoms in obvious places your parents will look, like your bathroom, under your bed, in your pillowcase, or in your nightstand.
    • Condoms not only prevent pregnancy, they also protect against STDs and HIV. Even if you are using one of the other birth control methods, you should also use condoms when having sex. Protecting yourself from STDs and HIV is just as important for safe, responsible sex as preventing pregnancy. Condoms protect you and your partner.
    • Be sure to use condoms correctly to avoid pregnancy or transmitting diseases. Condoms should be put on before any sexual fluids are exchanged. Make sure the condom is properly fitted to avoid breakage. A broken condom can result in accidental pregnancies and an exchange fo STDs.
    • Use a condom only once. Never reuse a condom. This means you should always have multiple condoms on hand to avoid any irresponsible decisions.
    • Don't rely on the male partner to provide condoms. Females concerned with safe sex carry their own condoms. Don't let anyone tell you that the two of you should have sex without a condom. Some people believe that sex is less enjoyable with condoms, but sex with a condom is enjoyable. More importantly, it is safe. Take control of your own body and your sexual health - no matter your gender. Protect yourself and practice safe sex.
  5. Keep your doctor's appointments secret. No matter which birth control method you use, you will need to go to a clinic. This comes with the possibility of your parents finding out. Use caution when visiting clinics to avoid any questions.
    • If you can, go to a clinic in another town. If you live in a small town, this might be the only way for people not to talk. The doctor and staff are bound by confidentiality, but other patients in the waiting room and anyone who sees you in the parking lot are not. If you live in a busy city, this may not be a problem. However, you might want to visit a doctor in another neighborhood.
    • Keep all the paperwork from your visits hidden. Place it in a folder between unrelated papers or put it in a book.
    • Don't give the doctor your home phone number. If at all possible, give them your cell phone number. You don't want the clinic calling while you're not home and alerting your parents to your visit.
    • Although you don't have to visit a clinic when buying condoms, you still want to use discretion while buying them. Purchase your condoms in a store where no one will see you. If everyone in your town goes to the major retailer, don't buy them at that store. Someone might see you walking around with a box of condoms and mention it to your parents.

Related Articles

  • Prepare for a Multiple Birth

Sources and Citations

  1. ↑ http://www.plannedparenthood.org/teens/going-to-the-doctor/birth-control
  2. ↑ http://www.youthlaw.org/publications/yln/2011/jan_mar_2011/the_federal_title_x_family_planning_program_privacy_and_access_rules_for_adolescents/
  3. ↑ http://www.guttmacher.org/graphics/gr030406_f1.html
  4. ↑ http://www.plannedparenthood.org/planned-parenthood-upper-hudson/teens/teen-patient-faq
  5. ↑ http://www.mayoclinic.org/healthy-living/birth-control/in-depth/birth-control-pill/art-20045136?pg=2
  6. ↑ http://kidshealth.org/teen/expert/birth_control/talktoparents.html
  7. ↑ http://www.webmd.com/sex/birth-control/birth-control-pills
  8. ↑ http://www.plannedparenthood.org/health-info/birth-control/birth-control-pill
  9. ↑ http://www.plannedparenthood.org/health-info/birth-control/iud
  10. ↑ 10.0 10.1 http://bedsider.org/features/105
  11. ↑ http://www.plannedparenthood.org/health-info/birth-control/birth-control-patch-ortho-evra
  12. ↑ http://www.plannedparenthood.org/health-info/birth-control/birth-control-shot-depo-provera
  13. ↑ http://www.plannedparenthood.org/health-info/birth-control/birth-control-vaginal-ring-nuvaring
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