Get Over an Affair and Move On with Your Relationship

If your partner has cheated on you and you still think the relationship can work, there are things you can do. Here are some ways to move on from that difficult affair.

Steps

  1. Decide if you (the cheated) want to keep the relationship going. You need to know if you will be able to overcome the breach of trust. It sometimes will take some time for you to know.
  2. Recognize forgiveness. Know if your partner is sincerely sorry about the affair. If they are truly sorry, moving past this can be much easier
  3. Know the reasons for the infidelity. Was there something lacking in your relationship, or was it something else? Find out if something within your partner's personal life that caused it, such as insecurity.
  4. Give yourself the right to feel anything that you do. If you are hurt, express this to your mate. Talk about your feelings
  5. Set boundaries. Decide specifically what it will take to regain your trust and how long you might expect it to take. Once again, talk to your partner.
  6. Set aside 10 minutes (with a timer) that the cheater will actively listen to you, and feel free to yell. Getting that frustration out will help you, and your partner will know that there is a time limit where it will be over.
  7. Give the whole process time. As it takes time for a cut to heal, it will take time for this, too. It can take years for the pain,distrust, and feelings to subside. Understand the importance of patience.
  8. If they cheated on you at work, then they need to move on to make it work.
  9. They need to do whatever it takes to make the spouse/partner at ease and feel secure.



Tips

  • Remember what brought you together and find that love again.
  • Be understanding of each other's feelings. There are no winners or losers, put your ego aside.
  • Talk to family or friends and ask for their support. They were there before the mate, and know you well.

Warnings

  • Don't try to get back at your partner by doing the same or doing something bad to them. It only takes you to their level.
  • Don't try to control their every move and question their actions. It will only tear you apart more.
  • Avoid spying and sneaking around. Try not to check your partner's phone,car,email, and anything else personal.
  • Get on with your life. Do what makes you happy. Let them come into YOUR life again.

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