Get Rid of One of Your Annoying Friends

We occasionally become friends with someone whom we like at first, but soon start to become annoying. You don't want to hurt their feelings, but you don't want to hang around them for too much longer, either. Try using this strategy to help you solve this tricky situation.

Steps

Being assertive, not furtive

  1. Be clear rather than pretending you like the pushiness or over-the-top behavior. By saying nothing, you will get more of the same, so you'll end up suffering in silence. Instead, draw a line and make it clear you aren't going to partake in things that annoy you, behave in a way you find immature or listen to stories that bug you, etc.
  2. When the annoying friend invites you to do something with them, and you're not interested, say no. For example, say that your friend invites you over for "coffee". Simply say "no thank you" and don't offer an explanation. If pushed, just say that you don't want to; sorry.
  3. End the chats and the calls when you have had enough. What is holding you there when you've long wanted to stop talking? It's you're "nice person" persona, not wanting to hurt the other person. The trouble is, you are hurting yourself by continuing to talk or chat inanely when you could be doing something else you want to do. When they call, say you must hang up now because you're busy. If they ask "doing what?" Say, "just busy" and "Bye". There is no need for explanation; this isn't an inquisition.
  4. If you are out together and need to leave, tell the annoying friend you've got to leave. It's that simple.
    • Tell the friend you are in a hurry to get somewhere. If they offer to tag along say, "No, Thank you. It must be done alone because it is personal (no questions asked). Sorry."
  5. Be friendly but firm when the friend feels left out. If this person asks you outright whether or not you still want to be friends, say "I aim to be friendly with everybody, including you. However, that's different from my network of close friends." Again, do not go into any more details.
  6. Above all, keep calm and stay polite. They may be annoying; that does not mean that you have the right to be nasty and it will reflect very badly on you if you are.
    • Being assertive is about letting people know where you stand. They may not like it but it's much harder to complain that someone knows what they want and speaks it clearly than to call someone a gossip, a meanie or even a bully as a result of their actions.

Pushing away

The following things are not assertive; indeed some are quite passive aggressive and some are rather mean-spirited actions. If you're not willing to stand up for yourself and speak clearly, you could try some of these. Just beware the bad feelings likely to ensue.

  1. Find out things your annoying friend dislikes. Pretend you are really interested in them, and keep on talking about them to them until they get really annoyed.
  2. Sit with other friends at lunch. Keeping your distance from the annoying friend may help them get the hint that you don't want to hang out.
  3. Give another friend a code word or a pre-arranged signal which means "Lets leave!" Use this signal when you need to ditch someone in a social setting.
    • Text your friend or cough loudly. Don't look unnatural.
    • Get another good friend to call you explaining an emergency. Don't let your emergency seem too serious or the person you're ditching may get worried.
  4. Demonstrate your lack of interest in continuing the friendship by acting in an unresponsive "zombie-like" manner. A few easy ways to do this may be not laughing at their jokes, pretending that you weren't listening to their stories or questions or keeping a cold, expressionless demeanor.
    • When they talk to you, be busy with other things and pretend you're not listening. Also, you can try interrupting them and talking about one of the things they don't like.
  5. Hang out with someone that you like often (so you don't have another annoying person) that they can't stand.
  6. Confuse or toy with the annoying person. Talk in a different language, sing, or if they are making unwanted phone calls, either block them or get someone else to answer it.
  7. End the friendship. If nothing else works it may be best to simply tell the annoying friend that you don't want to be friends anymore.

Tips

  • Try not to make it super obvious that you are trying to get rid of them. It gets you into all kinds of problems like confrontations.
  • Try not to be too mean or they may spread rumors about you or tell a teacher.
  • And if they follow you no matter what you do...try this when they're doing something like cleaning up say softly your leaving somewhere so when they say you ditched them you have an excuse
  • Don't spread rumors about them or do anything obviously mean or else you may get a bad reputation.
  • Don't answer their phone calls. Eventually, they'll either give up or confront you. Be prepared for both reactions.
  • If the annoying friend still wants to be friends with you and you don't simply say "go away", they will get the hint that they're getting really annoying and might leave you alone. Try not to send them completely off for good because you might find that they would be a good help with something. Don't hurt their feelings; this might make them lose self confidence, you might feel horrible afterwards and they might turn other people against you.
  • Don't act bratty or snotty because your "friend" might spread a bad rumor about you.
  • "_______, I'm sorry but you know...Sometimes the things you do can get a little irritating. II don't think we can be friends much longer. We are always constantly repelling each other. You are cool and all but I don't think we are compatible. Thanks for the friendship we had, you are a one of a kind person. Keep looking and you'll find someone awaiting your kindness."
  • Treat people how you would like to be treated. Don't play games with people's emotions. Find a way to say you don't feel the friendship is working.
  • Just tell them the truth. Honesty is the best policy. If you lie and they find out and it will probably make things worse.
  • The "annoying friend" may not want to break the friendship with you right away. Breaking up slowly might help you not hurt their feelings and they might not care after you're completely done with them.
  • Start spending time with other people and stop including her in little things. She will then feel unwanted and will start hanging out with other people too.
  • Just tell them after a while.
  • If the annoying person is kind to you, be kind to them. Here is the words you use if you want to ditch them straight on:
  • Acting snobby might put them off.
  • Just make sure they aren't going through actual emotional things such as family matters, (parents don't acknowledge them, abusive siblings, etc.) other social matters, (friend they are stressed over, bullied, etc.) or maybe, just maybe, all of the above. Then just kinda put off ignoring them or being rude.
  • Talk loud and obnoxiously.
  • Brag a lot.
  • Try to hang out with other people, but if you both have many mutual friends, that may be challenging. Try to ignore them, but don't be rude while doing it.
  • Do it yourself. Having another friend do your "dirty work" for you will only make things worse.

Warnings

  • Make sure you don't do this around the friends you like or they might get annoyed at you.
  • Also be aware that this behavior is kind of like fighting fire with fire and may not always work out well in the end.
  • You always have to end the friendship with an annoying friend (at least eventually). You need to remember that annoying people have mental health problems that they're unaware of such as narcissistic personality disorder, histrionic personality disorder and if they are repeatedly abusive (especially to the point of being threatening and especially if they get any pleasure from abusing you) they have sadistic personality disorder. Also remember that there is a difference between an immature person and an annoying person as the annoying person is both immature and abusive.
  • It's very important that you limit your hatred towards this person and don't go too over the top. If you keep acting rude towards them, they might spread the word or other people might catch on if they see you arguing in public. This might give you the reputation of a mean jerk.

Related Articles


  • Ditch an Unwanted Friend
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