Get your Boyfriend to Fall in Love with You

Though you can’t force your boyfriend to absolutely fall in love with you, you can definitely make an effort to be an amazing girlfriend and to build a strong and healthy relationship with him. The most important thing is that you stay true to yourself and let things find their natural pace. If you’re understanding, considerate, and fun, then your relationship will reach a new level before you know it.

Steps

Being an Amazing Girlfriend

  1. Make him feel good about himself. One of the best things you can do as a girlfriend is to make your boyfriend feel like the amazing, good-looking, smart, and interesting person that he is. Though everyone gets annoyed with their boyfriend from time to time, you shouldn’t spend most of your time nagging him or talking about the things you hate about him; focus on the positive and compliment his strong attributes while encouraging him to always be his best self.
    • If your boyfriend loves the person he is around you, he’ll want to spend even more time with you. If you make him feel down about himself, then it’s natural that he’ll want to spend less time with you.
  2. Never stop the romance. If you want the relationship to continue feeling fresh and exciting, then you should never forget that romantic feeling you felt in the first days of your courtship. Though you can’t be sweet and romantic all of the time, you should still make the effort to be loving and romantic and to show your boyfriend how much he means to you so you can keep your passion alive. Here are some things that you can do:
    • Write him sweet notes for him to find when you’re not home telling him how much he means to you.
    • Send him a cute text message when he’s having a long day.
    • Plan to have romantic date nights at least twice a month and make an effort to dress up and really give it your all.
    • Give him passionate, exciting kisses. Don’t make kissing feel like it’s part of a routine.
    • Give him the affection that he needs. Even if you’ve both had a long day, just hugging or cuddling can ignite that spark.
  3. Discover new things to do together. If you want to keep things interesting, then you and your boyfriend can try a variety of activities together so that you never run out of things to be excited about. This can mean taking a trip to a new hiking site once a month, exploring a new part of the city you live in together, taking a dance class together, or even starting a two-person book club together. Finding new things to enjoy together can deepen your bond and make you love each other even more.
    • You don’t have to try too hard to do something new. Just one completely new thing every few weeks will do the trick; it’s important to find a routine you love, too.
    • Be spontaneous. If you wake up on a Saturday morning and feel like painting your room yellow or taking a trip to the beach together, then go for it.
  4. Be cool with his friends. In order to really win your boyfriend over, you have to show that you can get along with his buddies. You shouldn’t be the girl who makes him less fun when you’re around, and you shouldn’t be cold or even rude to his friends because you think they’re not worth your time, either. Instead, you should ask them questions about their lives, be friendly when you see them even when your boyfriend’s not around, and make an effort to make them feel comfortable.
    • If his friends like you, then they’ll tell your boyfriend that you’re a catch. If you’re closed off toward them, then they may have less than nice things to say about you.
  5. Make time for yourself. To keep your relationship strong and healthy, and to have your boyfriend like you even more, you have to make sure that you make enough time to do your own thing. This can be writing poetry, hanging out with your friends, or taking daily yoga classes—it doesn’t really matter what you do, though it does matter that you make time for personal growth. If you’re a cool girl who has her own life going on, then your boyfriend will like you even more for it; if he feels like he’s the center of your universe, then he’ll be more cautious around you.
    • Having a meaningful life outside of your relationship will make your boyfriend feel like it’s a privilege to spend time with you. If he thinks that you have all day to spend time with him, then he may take you for granted a bit more.
    • Making time to see your friends will also help you stay in touch with other people who help you grow as a person and to live a more well-rounded life.
  6. Help him out when he needs it—as long as he helps you. If your boyfriend is having a hard week, then you can help him out by doing little favors for him, from getting him coffee to putting gas in his car if he’s really low on time. Taking the time to make his life a little bit easier will show him how much you care about his happiness; just make sure that he would do the same for you and that he’s not taking advantage of you.
    • He may not always admit it if he needs your help, but you should be on the lookout to make sure that he’s not just being coy with you. If he’s clearly struggling and super stressed out, see if you can help lighten the load a bit.
  7. Keep things sexy. If you want your relationship to stay exciting, then you should keep things fresh and fiery in the bedroom. Whether you’re having sex or just making out a lot, you should make sure to keep that momentum going, even if you’ve been together for a while. Don’t make your boyfriend feel like you’re only hooking up because he wants to, but because you’re really feeling it, too. That said, you should never feel pressure to do more than you’re comfortable with just to please your boyfriend.
    • Every relationship moves at its own pace and you shouldn’t have sex with your boyfriend if you’re not ready. However, if you two are sexually active, then make sure there’s still time for foreplay, affection, and some cuddling afterward, so you don’t take each other for granted too much.

Being Understanding

  1. Give him space to do his own thing. If you really want your boyfriend to love you, then you have to be able to respect his boundaries and to let him continue to be his own person. If you want to spend every second with him and always ask him what he’s doing when you’re not around, then you’ll come off as clingy or codependent, and this won’t get you very far with most guys; instead, you should cherish the time you spend together and enjoy being apart, knowing that it’s healthy for you both to pursue your own interests.
    • Plus, if you and your boyfriend spend more time doing your own thing, then you’ll be able to appreciate each other more when you’re together.
    • If your boyfriend has more time to study, play guitar, or pursue his other interests, then he’ll be able to grow as a person. You should want him to continue to develop into a healthy, well-rounded human being if you truly care for him.
    • You don’t want him to feel like he’s accountable to you 24/7 or he’ll feel smothered. Show him that you trust him enough to let him train for a marathon for a few hours without calling him three times.
  2. Let him have time with the guys. To get your boyfriend to really appreciate you, you have to be understanding of the fact that he needs to have time with his guy friends in order to feel a healthy sense of proportion in his life. Though he may see his friends less frequently because you’re in the picture, you shouldn’t make him feel guilty every time he hangs with his friends or get him to spend time with you instead; let him see that you’re okay with him being with his friends and that you want him to have a good time without you.
    • You also don’t always have to make him choose. If you’re hanging out together, invite some of your friends and some of his friends to join you, so hanging out in groups becomes more natural. Though solo guy time is still important, this can be a nice compromise sometimes.
    • When he’s out with his friends, you shouldn’t call or text him a lot asking when he’s coming home, or he’ll feel like you don’t trust him or want him to have a good time.
  3. Learn to compromise. To be an understanding girlfriend in a loving relationship, you need to learn that it’s important to not always get your way. You should work on compromising with your boyfriend when you find yourselves in a tricky situation and finding solutions to problems that can make both of you happy. Sometimes, you can give in to him, as long as he lets you get your way, too. If your boyfriend thinks that you have to get your way or you’ll be annoyed with him, then he’ll be less likely to have a good time with you.
    • If you disagree about something, make sure you hear each other out so you understand whether or not the matter at hand is really important to your boyfriend.
    • Don’t name call or get so angry that it’s impossible for your boyfriend to get a word in. Take some time to calm down if you need to before you try to make things work.
    • If your boyfriend gets “his way” once in a while—like if you two decide to go to a baseball game instead of your friend’s party—then you should try to make the best of it instead of resenting him the whole time.
  4. Apologize when you’ve made a mistake. If you want your boyfriend to really love and respect you, then you have to be able to admit when you’re wrong. Look him in the eyes, put away your phone, and make him see how truly sorry you are. Don’t make him think that you’re saying sorry just because you want something from him or because you feel like you have to; let him see that you’re really troubled by what you did and that you’re determined not to do it again.
    • It’s much more important to admit that you’re human than to try to act perfect so your boyfriend will like you. If you don’t get in denial when you’ve made a mistake, your boyfriend will appreciate you a lot more for it.
    • Don’t say, “I’m sorry that you got mad when I…” because this kind of talk puts the blame on your boyfriend. Instead, take accountability for your actions and say, “I’m sorry that I…”
  5. Try to see things from his perspective. If you want to be understanding and to show your boyfriend how much you really care about him, then you have to make an effort to step into your boyfriend’s shoes every once in a while to try to see a situation from his perspective. Considering what’s really going through his head can help you see that not everything is as black and white as it seems and that he may have more reasons for what he does or says than you think.
    • For example, if he’s been acting really distant for the past two weeks, you should consider other things going on in his life that may lead him to act that way. If his grandmother just passed away, he’s stressed about finding a new job, or he’s had a horrible cold, then he may just not be feeling like himself; understand that not all of his behavior has to do with you.
    • If you know he’s having a rough week, make an effort to help him out more, whether it’s by making him dinner or running a quick errand for him. As long as he would do the same for you when you’re not having a great week, this is a great way to say that you’re really thinking about what he’s going through.
  6. Make an effort to get along with his family. To get your boyfriend to really fall for you, you have to show that you care about his family, even if you couldn’t be more different from them. Make an effort to be friendly, to make small talk, and to be a considerate guest in his family’s home. If it’s just not working, you should try to be patient and do your best instead of bad mouthing them to your boyfriend or giving them attitude; remember that at the end of the day, he wants a girl who can fit comfortably into his life, and if you feel like you can’t go thirty seconds without getting in an argument with his mother, then that’s a red flag.
    • Of course, if his family really is truly cold and unwelcoming, you don’t need to completely suck up to them. Work on maintaining a respectful distance from them and on discussing the situation as sensitively as possible if you talk to your boyfriend about it.
    • At the end of the day, you have to remember that your boyfriend has known his family a lot longer than he’s known you. Don’t try to make him choose between you or them.
  7. Communicate maturely. Another way to be understanding and to make your boyfriend really fall for you is to have strong communication in your relationship. This could mean talking to your boyfriend about why you had a bad day instead of pretending everything is fine, asking him why he’s upset when he’s clearly not feeling his best but holding back, and bringing up something that’s been bothering you in the relationship in a tactful and respectful manner. Making a habit of having strong communication skills can help you and your boyfriend have a healthy and loving relationship.
    • When it comes to having a serious talk, timing can be everything. Don’t bringing up something that’s been bothering you for weeks fifteen minutes before your boyfriend’s birthday party or his job interview. Though you can’t wait for the perfect opportunity forever, you should try to find the most convenient time to talk if you want to be taken seriously.
    • Listening is just as important as talking. When your boyfriend is trying to tell you something, make sure you really listen to what he’s saying instead of waiting for your turn to speak or interrupting him.

Knowing What Not to Do

  1. Don’t be jealous. If you want your boyfriend to fall for you, then you have to show him that you’re comfortable in the relationship. If you’re constantly doubting him, asking where he’s been, or even comparing yourself to other girls, then you’ll only be giving him more reasons to doubt you. If you’re comfortable with yourself and say nice things about other girls, on the other hand, then he’ll be even more inclined to love you because you’ll be confident in who you are.
    • Of course, if your boyfriend is legitimately doing something suspicious, then you have the right to be jealous and to ask questions. But if you ask him questions any time he’s been talking to a girl or even interrupt any solo conversations he has with a girl, it’ll start to get old.
    • Instead of gossiping about other girls or calling them ugly, tell him about the things you love about your friends or a new girl you just met. You should be happy enough with yourself and your relationship not to care about the other girls out there.
  2. Don’t force it. Unfortunately, not even a magic spell can make your boyfriend fall in love with you. Love takes time, and sometimes, he’ll either begin to feel it or he won’t. You can be the most perfect girlfriend in the world and can give him everything you think he needs, but he may just not be able to have that loving feeling for you. This can be incredibly heartbreaking, but it’s better to be realistic and to know when it’s just not happening than to keep hoping for something that just isn’t there.
    • If you’re coming to this page, then it should be because you want to be a better girlfriend and have an even more amazing relationship. However, you shouldn’t be looking for ways to change yourself so that your boyfriend will love you more.
    • If you feel like you’ve tried everything and have been together for a long time and he’s just not returning the intensity of your feelings, then you should ask yourself whether you think it’s worth continuing the relationship.
  3. Don’t force him to move too fast. Forcing your boyfriend to move too fast can also put the relationship in jeopardy. If you make him move too fast too soon, then you may be keeping him from naturally developing those loving feelings for you at his own pace. Give him time to meet your friends and your family, go on weekend trips with you, move in with you, or even to say the words “I love you.” Though each relationship has its own timeline, you shouldn’t expect him to say he loves you in the first few weeks, or even the first few months, or you may even be scaring him away.
    • In fact, if you keep pressuring him to move faster and keep asking him why he hasn’t introduced you to his friends or invited you over for Thanksgiving dinner, then you may actually be scaring him away. Respect the fact that he needs time for his feelings to develop.
    • If you find that you love him after the first few weeks, you may want to think twice before announcing it to him right away. If you don’t think he’s anywhere near on the same page, then you may be scaring him away with this kind of talk.
  4. Don’t force him to do too many things he doesn’t want to do. Though every relationship is about give and take, you shouldn’t make your boyfriend do 1,000 different activities that you think a good boyfriend should do if it’s not his thing. If he really isn’t outdoorsy, you can ask him to go on a hike or two without forcing him to go camping for two weeks; if he’s not into couple workouts, don’t drag him to your yoga class. Be respectful of the fact that there are some things that he just won’t want to do and stick to enjoying the things that actually make both of you happy.
    • Don’t feel like forcing him to do something he has no interest in doing, like painting your friend’s entire house, is some kind of way for him to prove his love for you.
    • Of course, everyone has to do something he doesn’t want to do to make a relationship work. Your boyfriend may wish he was hanging out with his friends instead of going shopping with your mom, but he’ll just have to suck it up sometimes. But when you feel like you’re “dragging” him to do almost everything together, you may have a problem.
  5. Don’t compare your relationship to anyone else’s. Every relationship is different, and you won’t get anywhere if you go around comparing your relationship to your parents’, your best friend’s, or your next door neighbor’s. Just because your best friend and her boyfriend moved in together after only dating for six months doesn’t mean you should do the same; just because your parents got married when they were twenty-five doesn’t mean you have to follow the same timeline. If you get too wrapped up in doing what you “should” do in your relationship, then you won’t be able to enjoy your relationship on its own terms.
    • Furthermore, nothing will drive your boyfriend faster than comparing your relationship to another relationship. He’ll start to feel like your expectations are unreasonable and that he’ll never be enough for you.
    • You can never fully understand the dynamics between two other people, so you shouldn’t think that another relationship can give you answers about your own. You can certainly seek advice from others, but you should remember that the most important relationship is the one between you and your boyfriend.
  6. Don’t change yourself for him. If you feel like you have to change the person who you are to win your boyfriend over, then you should back off as soon as possible. At the end of the day, while there are certain things you may be able to do to make your relationship stronger and to be a more understanding girlfriend, you should want your boyfriend to appreciate and love the person who you really are, not some perfect, polished version of what you think a girlfriend should be.
    • If you find yourself acting or dressing in a way that seems not like you at all, you may need to rethink your motivations. Are you changing yourself because it’s what your boyfriend really wants, or because you think it’s what he wants? At the end of the day, it’s most important that you stay true to yourself.

Warnings

  • These are only tips on ways to keep him. You cannot force someone to love you.
  • If things just aren't working out between the both of you, there is nothing you can really do.
  • He might take advantage of you, resulting in you getting hurt.

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