Identify a Workaholic

Can dedication and drive go too far? When does somebody cross the line from being a hard worker to work-obsessed? If you know someone who works all of the time, everything else in his or her life such as family and friends takes a back seat. Learn how to identity the traits of a workaholic so you can help your friend or loved one.

Steps

Identifying the Signs

1. Take a look at the person's work week. Maybe he works more than 40 hours per week on a regular basis. You see he never has time to do anything with you or other people in his life. For a workaholic, work is the top priority. You notice that he misses out on everyday events such as family dinners, walking the dog and getting a good night's sleep.
   • You might notice relationship problems. He rarely shows up at events such as his kid's school play or his friend's birthday party. Building strong relationships takes time. He devotes all of his time to work instead of his loved ones.
2. Look at his attitude towards money. He thinks money is the key to a better life. A workaholic overemphasizes the importance of money. He might tell you he'll be happy once he gets a promotion or a raise. Yet, once he gets the promotion, it's not enough. He's preoccupied with climbing the career ladder. Or you might notice the person comparing himself to wealthier people. He might want an expensive luxury car or another designer watch to outdo his neighbor. Yet once he buys it, he's not satisfied.
   • Money helps fulfill important needs. Everyone needs money to keep a roof over their head, to put food on the table and to provide for themselves and their loved ones. Aside from meeting the basic needs of survival and safety, money doesn't help anyone meet other important needs such as self-esteem, love, belonging and self-fulfillment. No one goes to their deathbed wishing they worked more or had more money. A workaholic can't keep this in perspective.
3. Notice if the person often seems distracted. A workaholic is preoccupied with what's happening at work even during days off. He might even skip vacation because he can't stand to be away from work. When he is on vacation, he's not relaxing or enjoying anything. A workaholic is fixated on what might be happening at work or what he needs to do once he gets back to work.
   • Recognize the difference between a hard worker and a workaholic. A hard worker takes breaks and enjoys vacation. A workaholic rarely takes breaks and when he has a day off, he wishes he were back at work. A hard worker is dedicated while a workaholic is obsessed.
4. See if he takes on too much. A workaholic is usually a perfectionist. He thinks no one can do a better job than he can. The person takes on a lot of responsibility and rarely asks for help. The problem with this approach is perfection is impossible to reach. Humans make mistakes and need help. The person might tell you he hates working in a team. You offer to help him make dinner and he refuses your help. You try to pitch in and he tells you you're doing it wrong. He's hard to work with and difficult to please.
   • Notice if the person usually underestimates the time it takes to do something. Since he doesn't like to ask for help and is overbooked, he ends up rushing to get everything done. This situation is counterproductive. By taking on everything, nothing gets done well. He starts to get things done late or not at all.
   • A workaholic wants to control everything. He often sees work as a reflection of himself. If he takes on a lot of responsibility at work, it gives his self-esteem a boost. He wants to be the go-to person for everything. The problem is if something doesn't go his way at work, his self-esteem will crash. Just like perfection, being able to control everything is a myth. Many things are outside of his control.
5. See if he constantly checks electronic devices. Laptops, smartphones and tablets blur the line between professional and personal life. You often see the person sneaking in another email or IM message. Checking his work email and working on projects outside of business hours throws off his work and life balance.
   • You might notice him getting anxious if he can't check up on what's happening at work. If you ask him to put down his cell phone, he snaps at you and refuses. A workaholic feels like his world will end if he can't check on his work email 24/7. If just the idea of being without his electronic device makes him anxious, it's a sign that the person is a workaholic.
6. Notice what he enjoys discussing. When you're having a casual conversation, is work the only topic he brings up? When you talk to him about topics unrelated to work, does the person tune you out? If work is his sole focus, he hasn't spent any time developing interests and hobbies unrelated to work. Work is the only thing that defines him.
   • A workaholics feel like anything unrelated to work is a waste of his time. While work is an important part of life, it's not the only thing that matters. Developing other interests and hobbies is important and makes a person feel better about himself.

Seeing the Impact

1. Look out for burn-out. Constantly working takes a toll. Burn-out means the person is physically and mentally exhausted from overworking. Burn-out makes it difficult for her to cope with normal, everyday ups and downs. She might be impatient and irritable with you and others. You notice the person overreacts to little things. For example, maybe you ask her a simple question and she gets really angry with you.
   • Imagine the person is a cup. As a cup, she can hold only a certain amount of water before it's spilling over the sides. The person can only handle so much before she has to let things go. If she fills her cup with nothing but work, she has no room for family, friends or herself.
2. Watch out for signs of anxiety. She experiences excessive worry. She fears things people normally wouldn't such as hearing the phone ring or going out to public places. The person tells you she dreads going to work or she feels like something bad is about to happen to her. She might experience episodes of panic where her heart beats rapidly and her thoughts race. Sometimes it's so bad that she feels like she's having a heart attack. She might even shake or sweat during these anxiety episodes.
   • Normal anxiety is feeling nervous before a big event such as taking a test or delivering a presentation. An anxiety disorder is feeling nervous most of the time or having intense feelings of panic that come out of nowhere.
3. See if she experiences sleep disturbance. The person might say she never sleeps or only sleeps for a few hours a night. A workaholic either works or thinks about work when she should be sleeping. Sleep deprivation leads to memory loss, lack of concentration and fatigue. A good night's rest improves energy, motivation and overall well being.
   • There are four phases of sleep that repeat approximately every 90 minutes. When a person sleeps for less than seven hours, she cannot cycle through all the phases. The result is she's tired and sluggish the next day.
4. Look out for signs of depression. The constant stress from working too much can put a workaholic at risk for depression. See if the person loses interest in things she used to enjoy, withdraws from people or says she feels helpless. Other symptoms include a change in eating patterns, such as overeating or losing her appetite, fatigue, agitation and irritability. You might notice her not wanting to get out of bed or having episodes of crying and intense sadness.
   • Depression is more than feeling down or sad. Everyone has a day here or there where they feel down. Depression is feeling down, irritable and hopeless most of the time for days, weeks or months.
5. Observe her relationships. Since all her time is spent working, she's disconnected from friends and family. People start to resent her. For example, when her child draws a picture of his family, he leaves his workaholic mother out of it. Or when her friends get together, they don't bother to include the person since she never shows up anyway. Being a workaholic leads to a very lonely existence.
   • Another difference between a workaholic and a hard worker is the impact of work on her relationships. A workaholic neglects her relationships. A hard worker makes time for her loved ones.

Helping a Workaholic

1. Talk to the person about what you've observed. Prepare for him to deny what you're saying. Denial is a strong defense mechanism. Denial protects a person from seeing the impact of his actions. The person is invested in seeing the positive aspects of his behavior and denying the negative ones. He either ignores the problems caused by his work obsession or he passes the blame on to others. For example, he might blame his spouse or partner for the problems in his relationship rather than seeing his part in things.
   • Be honest about what you've seen. Avoid criticizing or judging. For example, you could say, “Lately I've noticed that you're working a lot more than usual. You don't seem to be sleeping much and you're on the phone frequently, even when we're out to lunch together. I'm worried about you, and I'd like to help.” Avoid saying something like, “You're crazy for working so much. You must be addicted to work. You need to stop it.”
   • Remember that you can't force the person to accept help if he's not ready. He'll need time to thinks about his actions and decide if he wants to change. Be patient and try bringing it up again later. Eventually, he might come around and be ready for change.
2. Help the person prioritize. Once he realizes life can no longer revolve around work, you can help him come up with a plan. He needs to change how he spends his time each day. A good way to evaluate how he spends his time is to write down everything he wants to and needs to do. Then categorize the urgent, important and not important tasks. .
   • First, the person writes down all of the tasks he needs to complete in a day. He includes his job tasks, chores, activities with family and friends, pet care and self-care such as sleeping, eating, exercising, hobbies and relaxing. He lists everything in no particular order. He should make his list as inclusive as possible.
   • He then organizes his list according to three categories: Urgent, Important, Non-important. Urgent means if he doesn't do the task that day, there will be serious and immediate repercussions. For example, if he doesn't pay the phone bill, his service will be cut off. Important things have no immediate repercussions but they may have serious long-term consequences. For example, he needs to exercise so he can stay healthy, or he needs to go to his child's school play to strengthen his parent-child bond. Non-important tasks have no immediate or serious repercussions. For example, sweeping the floor can wait until another day since no one is hurt by it.
   • At least 75% of his time should be spent on important tasks, 20% on urgent tasks and 5% on not important tasks. He can shift or eliminate tasks that are taking up too much time. For example, he treats every work email like it's urgent. He responds immediately regardless of the request and checks his email all day and into the night. Instead, he limits checking work email to three times a day and only responds immediately when it's truly critical.
3. Make an electronics-free pact with the person. Ask him to agree to unplugging the TV, shutting off his tablet and tucking away his laptop and phone. Designate an electronic-free time each day, and hold him to it. It'll help the person resist the temptation to check-in on work and encourage him to spend time on himself and his loved ones.
   • Schedule fun activities with the person. It will help him make the most of his electronic-free time. Walk the dog or go get coffee. Engage in activities that encourage face-to face communication and connection.
4. Help the person get support. If he's tried to change but is still stuck in his work-obsessed ways, help him connect with a counselor or support group. Support from professionals or peers can help him successfully balance work and life.
   • Workaholics Anonymous is a free program with support groups across the United States and the world. People meet with others who are trying to work less and enjoy life more. They support each other through a 12-step program to free themselves from compulsively working.

Warnings

• Compulsive workers may develop insomnia, carpal tunnel and blood clots from sedentary jobs, increased stress, a more aged appearance, and even death in a phenomenon known in Japan as karōshi.

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