Life and happiness

As the graduation day is near, I have an interesting discussion about jobs and careers in my software class. A student said: “I want to have a job that pay a lot of money then I will be happy”.

My question to the students was: “How much money would make you happy? If you are happy with $40,000 a year, will you be happy when your friend is making $50,000? Can you find happiness through money alone? Of course, this question triggered discussions among students. Some said that they would be content with what they have but other questioned why someone got better wages.

I asked students to think about this situation: “Imagine that you are making $50,000 a year and your manager gives you a raise to $55,000 because you are doing a good job. You are very happy because you are recognized for your works and rewarded with good salary. A month goes by then another company offers you $60,000 if you work for them. You tell your manager about the offer but he says that he can not pay you that much. Now suddenly you feel unhappy because you are underpaid and you want to leave”.

I wanted the students to look at happiness and money from a different view. After allowed students to discuss the situation for few minutes, I continued: “Assume that you left the job and work for the new company. With better salary, you can buy a new laptop, new mobile phone, new clothes, maybe new motorcycle and you are happy for few months. Suddenly you find that your company is paying others with the same skill about $5,000 more than they pay you. What would be your attitude? Are you still feel happy?

By this time, some students began to argue “It will not happen to me. I will still be happy”. Many told me that they were exception to this kind of situation. I asked them to think about the situation that when their salaries increase, their expenses will also increase as well as their desires. Some will think “More will be better”. The first time people receive good salaries, they are very happy but after that, everything is about chasing after more things but unfortunately the level of happiness will be much less. Basically, happiness is dependent on being able to meet basic needs such as food, shelter and clothing. After meeting those needs, people will change into consumers for whatever they want. Most would want more then additional money will have no impact on how happy they are. The level of happiness at that time is depending on their desires. No matter how much money they make, it never enough. The issue is when they have more, they will worry more then suddenly their job become a burden. They will worry about losing jobs, They will worry about their managers and everything that can impact them. Then they are afraid of losing what they have and many other things. How can they be happy with such worries and fears?

At that time, students began to ask me about my view on happiness. Of course, it is a very personal question but I believe that optimism will make people happy. Having optimism will impact happiness more than having money. As many students will graduate soon, I asked them to think about their careers, not jobs. A career is the pursuit of a lifelong goal or a course of progression toward a lifelong goals which is the opposite of a job or an work activity that you can earn money. I wanted students to think seriously about what they can do, what kind of work that they would love to do for many years, what kind of work that they would enjoy doing because when you have passion for your work, the reward will come. It could be money, it could be something else. The importing thing is you must train yourself to think positively for whatever happen to you. Life is never easy and has many events, some good and some may not be good. What you can learn from them will shape your character. The most happiest people that I met are people that gained strengths through adversity. They do not blame their life on external things, they are confident about themselves, and they take responsibility for their actions. Happy people take responsibility for their success and consider failure just a temporary event. That is what I mean by optimism.

Sources

  • Blogs of Prof. John Vu, Carnegie Mellon University