Make Everyone Want to Read Your Diary
Most of the time people are looking for advice on hiding their diary and keeping it top secret. Yet, what if you actually want people to read your diary, to understand your innermost secrets and to fathom out who you really are? Or perhaps you want them to learn something about themselves from your perception that you're just too shy or lacking in courage to tell them to their face? Or, in the ultimate double-crossing, perhaps you want one diary to be a decoy while the other, real diary stays truly hidden.
Whatever your reason for wanting someone to read your diary, here are some suggestions for planting the desire in their head and helping them to attain your goal, all while thinking it was their goal!
Steps
- Choose a diary that is obviously a diary. One that has the word "Diary" written in big letters across the front is a good start. As is choosing a diary with bright colors, fancy designs or lots of "Do Not Read" messages on the cover. Some diaries come with a lock and key; this can add to the sense of impenetrability (although you'll need to leave the key with the diary when hiding it so that it can be opened easily), or if you want people to notice it more often, keep the key in a chain around your neck and wear it like a necklace. And if you really want to get attention, then choose a neon or glitter cover.
- Consider what it is you'd like to add to the diary to make the seeker realize that they've been rumbled. How you deal with this aspect of the diary finding is up to your purpose:
- If you want the person to know that you set them up to find the diary, find some way of making this clear in the diary. You might write something that they'll find in the text of the diary, perhaps in a passage about themselves, such as "And Jake thought that when he found this diary he was such a smarty pants but little did he know that I had decided early on he needed to read these home truths about himself and I orchestrated his desire to find you dear diary."
- Or, you could make a more upfront statement at the beginning of the diary, like "Jake, you moron, I WANTED you to find this diary. Have fun reading about yourself and what I really think of you."
- Or, perhaps you want to keep this all totally subtle and only find out through things the person says or does that they have read your diary. For example, perhaps you want someone to love you or you want someone to give you gifts you really like. By orchestrating their finding of the diary and expressing your feelings or your wish list, this could result in them declaring undying love to you... or finally buying you that gadget that you actually wanted for your birthday.
- Spend a lot of time writing in your diary in obvious view. Always write around family members. Especially around parents, spouses and nosy siblings! If they're in a room or you know they're about to go in a certain room, go sit down and start writing. Feel free to think out loud and make obtuse comments as you're writing in it.
- Laugh or smile while you're writing, or write furiously (quickly) with a determined look on your face.
- Casually drop comments about needing to write in your diary when around those you'd like to want to read it. For example, if you've just seen something you think is of interest, you could say "Wow, now that just has to go in my diary." To whet the appetite of the person or persons whom you'd like to get all nosy about your diary, make remarks that cause them to wonder what is being written about them in the diary. Something along the lines of "Oh I write about every person in my diary, especially when I feel annoyed or upset with them."
- If the person asks you if you're writing about them in the diary, be evasive. Say something like "Maybe… maybe not. Maybe you're not worth writing in my diary…".
- If someone asks you about what your writing or they try to look, press it against your chest so no one can see and quickly say "Nothing!" The more alluring and tempting you make the diary's contents seem, the more likely your interrogator will become curious and want to know what's in it.
- Be very urgent and defensive about wanting no one reading it!
- Never leave your diary unattended. Even take it with you to go to the bathroom. This will only encourage suspicion, causing your target diary seeker to think that you're hiding something.
- Keep your diary in a great hiding spot. Every diary needs to be found in a suitable place after a little rummaging. For that feeling of finder's satisfaction, the diary needs to be somewhere reasonably obvious but not too obvious. If someone can't find your diary, it will make them search and search more. Never hide it in your mattress! Some spots are:
- Behind your dresser drawer.
- In an old backpack everyone knows you don't use.
- Under some old blankets or clothes on the top shelf of the closet.
- Taped under large furniture with strong tape.
- In a zip-lock bag in the toilet tank.
- Behind a bookshelf.
- Under your bedspread.
- If someone walks into the room where you're writing, keep a blanket nearby to quickly but obviously hide it under there.
Tips
- If you would like someone to read your diary, don't write any embarrassing or secretive stuff in it. Stick to the things you want this person to know.
Warnings
- Don't get mad at the person who reads your diary. You brought it about.
- If someone does end up reading your diary, there is a big possibility that your secrets will be told to everyone. However, given that you are doing this on purpose, you'll already know what to leave in and what to leave out. You could even keep a very secret diary online or somewhere impossible to find, while this diary acts as the decoy.
- Don't bring it to school or any public place there chances that it may be lost, stolen or whatever.
Things You'll Need
- Diary
- Suitable hiding spots
- Writing Utensil
