Make Women Adore You

If you've ever seen a romantic comedy, you probably remember the bold, risky, but ultimately adorable gestures that women love. These strategies don't always work in the real world, though. While you don't want to be cheesy or go ridiculously over the top, studies show there are some personality traits and characteristics that women tend to find attractive and charming. Of course, every woman has her own unique tastes and preferences, and nothing is ever going to work on every woman, but there are some basics you can learn to be more charming and approachable. Whether you've met the love of your life or simply want to put yourself out in the dating world, knowing how to make yourself more attractive and adorable can help you find and maintain a new partner.

Steps

Grooming Yourself to Meet Women

1. Keep a clean appearance. Personal hygiene is important to most people who are looking for a partner. That doesn't necessarily mean that you need a day at the spa every time you go out, but it does mean taking basic steps to care for yourself and your body. Before going out on a date or to a social event, it's best to make sure you've showered, shaved or groomed your facial hair (if relevant), put on deodorant, and brushed your teeth.
2. Wear the right clothes. For some people, fashion is important. But if you can't afford or aren't interested in keeping up with the latest brands and designers, you should still make wardrobe choices that are attractive and fashionable. That's because studies have shown that wearing fashionable or otherwise attractive outfits can help give a positive first impression to a potential mate. Your clothes and your physical appearance are the first things a person sees when they spot you across a bar or restaurant, so making appropriate wardrobe choices can help you make a strong first impression.
   • You don't have to go broke buying the most trendy clothing line of the year, but you should wear an outfit that you're comfortable in and that looks good on you. If you have a particular pair of pants or a dress that you feel confident and attractive in, then it's a good outfit for meeting women.
3. Stay fit. You don't need to have a model's figure to be a viable partner. But for many people, basic physical fitness is an attractive quality. Being physically fit doesn't mean starving yourself and spending hours at the gym. There's nothing wrong with naturally have a larger body type, and you shouldn't try to radically alter your physical appearance for the sake of others. But maintaining some level of personal fitness - whatever level you're comfortable with - may help you feel more confident and attractive to women.

Meeting Women Through Online Dating

1. Choose the right photograph. When choosing a profile picture (if you have an online dating profile), it's important to choose carefully, as this will create your first impression. You should certainly choose a photograph that you feel showcases your attractive qualities, but equally important is to choose a photograph that conveys personality. Consider your dating profile picture as the way you would want a woman to see you at a bar or singles event, and choose a picture that showcases your best qualities and characteristics.
   • Studies show that a genuine smile (aka a Duchenne smile) in a dating profile can communicate a sense of humor and an easy-going, pleasant personality.
   • Slightly tilting or angling your head to the side can convey a sense of mystery or playfulness.
   • If your dating profile allows you to post multiple photographs, include one that shows you with a group of friends smiling and having fun. It's even better if you're more or less in the middle of your group of friends, as this conveys a sense of importance and creates a desirability to be around you.
2. Create a good username. You may not think much of your username, but there's a good chance that a woman looking at your profile might. Studies suggest that a username that conveys intelligence or a career drive are often more attractive to women online. You may also want to choose a username with a lower alphabetical letter at the start of your name, because many dating sites return profile searches in alphabetical order.
   • Intelligence and creativity are typically desirable traits in a partner because they convey that the person will most likely pass on those desirable traits to a hypothetical child. Though most people aren't consciously thinking of what kind of parent their partner will be one day, those factors do drive some aspects of our subconscious attractions to others.
3. Write a compelling profile. Your name and picture may be the things that draw a woman to your profile, but it's a compelling "about me" section that will make a woman decide if you'll be a match or not. It's important to be honest and describe yourself and your interests sincerely, but you should also devote a little space to what you're looking for in a partner. Some experts recommend a 70 percent/30 percent split between yourself and what you're looking for to avoid coming across as shallow or self-absorbed.
   • Some studies suggest that women tend to find self-descriptions depicting confidence, bravery, courage, and risk-taking more attractive in a potential partner's online profile.
   • Some of the most desirable hobbies worth mentioning (if you engage in these hobbies) include playing sports, playing/writing/recording music, taking artistic photographs, and taking spontaneous trips or outings.
4. Send the right message. Once you and a woman have expressed an interest in one another online, the next step is contacting the other person. If you're sending a message to a woman (or responding to a woman's message), you want to write a message that will convey the right things to that woman. The message should be personalized, engaging, and should highlight your best qualities.
   • Incorporate the qualities you believe make you most desirable, such as a sense of humor or a sincerely kind personality.
   • Read the woman's profile, and personalize the message you write to include some mutual interests and hobbies. This will show that you've taken the time to read her profile, and have things in common with her.
   • Express an interest in the woman's job or educational background.
   • Proofread. Many experts agree that spelling and grammar errors are a quick turn-off for some women, and if nothing else may cause you to appear less educated or informed than you actually are.

Making Yourself Desirable When You Meet

1. Go out. It may seem obvious, but the first step in meeting women is putting yourself out there. Even in the world of online dating, you'll need to meet in person at some point. That means being willing to go out to social places where singles often meet: bars, restaurants, night clubs, or even more social events like shared-interest clubs, organized social outings, or simply getting together with a larger group of friends.
   • Find social activities online, or try going to a social place near your home where you feel comfortable. And when you get there, make a point of talking to people. That doesn't mean being aggressively flirtatious, but it does mean approaching people and starting a conversation.
2. Avoid pickup lines. Some people think that the best way to engage a woman in conversation is by using a pickup line. Pickup lines (occasionally) work in movies, which creates the illusion that pickup lines may work in real life. The truth, however, is that most women find pickup lines cheesy, annoying, or downright repulsive. Women simply don't want to hear pickup lines because they're unoriginal and often insulting to a woman's intelligence. Find something more creative and engaging to say, and you may end up initiating a meaningful and memorable conversation.
   • Rather than using a pickup line to approach a woman, try simply saying "hi" or "hello" and introducing yourself. If the woman seems receptive, ask her about herself, or start a conversation about an interest she might share.
3. Have a meaningful conversation. If you approach a woman, or if she approaches you, and you've managed to avoid using a cheesy pickup line, you'll need to engage in a real conversation. That is the only thing that will keep the dialogue going, and potentially further her interest in you (and vice versa). The key to a meaningful conversation is to create a real dialogue, rather than a monologue. Engage with one another, and see where the conversation leads you.
   • Minimize the time you "control" the conversation. Don't make it all about you and your interests. If she asks about you, then certainly tell her a little about yourself, but don't dominate the conversational space with your own interests. Let her speak, and let the things she says determine where the conversation moves.
   • Ask open-ended questions to follow-up the things she says. For example, instead of saying "You must love animals, since you became a veterinarian," ask an open-ended question, such as, "What made you want to become a veterinarian?" or "When did you know you had a passion for animals?"
   • Listen without reacting. Don't judge the things she says, and avoid trying to insert your own ideas or values into the context of what she says.
   • Don't assume that she thinks, sees, and feels the same way you think, see, and feel (and vice versa).
4. Recognize your body language. If you're trying to have a pleasant conversation with someone you've just met, use respectful and engaging body language to let her know that you're interested in what she's saying. For example, try to maintain a warm eye contact, face the woman while you're conversing (rather than standing at an angle or turned away from her), and try to keep your arms open instead of crossed. That doesn't necessarily mean use flirtatious body language, just maintaining a respectful and open posture to convey your interest in continuing the conversation.
   • Maintain a confident posture. That means a straight back, shoulders broad (not hunched or slouched), and keeping your chin around 90 degrees (rather than looking down at the floor, which may convey insecurity).
   • Smile warmly, but not in a forced, salesman-like manner. Give a sincere, kind smile, and it will make you highly approachable.
   • Don't stare, but make eye contact during conversation for a long-enough period that it shows an interest.
   • Don't talk too fast or act jittery. Some studies suggest that a relatively slow pace conveys confidence and self-assurance.
   • Wait a second or so before responding when the other person has finished speaking. That shows that you are being respectful and calmly processing what she's said, while also allowing her a moment in case she wants to add to anything she's finished saying.
5. Be positive and pleasant. While physical attraction is certainly a component of many relationships, it is not the only component. Having a desirable personality is often at the top of many people's ideal traits. That means being positive, pleasant, friendly, and fun to be around. Attraction may get a woman to approach you, but it's an enjoyable personality that will decide whether she'll continue to carry on a conversation with you.
   • Some positive traits that women often desire include being optimistic, thoughtful, sympathetic, well-behaved, and entertaining.
6. Use humor. Some people are naturally more funny than others. But even if you don't have a history of performing standup comedy, you probably still have a sense of humor. Whether your style of humor is observational, conversational, self-depreciating, or simple joke-telling, you may want to consider letting your funny side out while courting a woman. Studies have shown that many women find a sense of humor to be tremendously attractive, and are more likely to engage in conversation with someone who is funny or otherwise entertaining.
   • Using humor doesn't mean you need to be a laugh machine. Trying too hard to be funny may be a turnoff for some women. So don't try to be all laughs all the time, but by all means let yourself be amusing and entertaining, if that's the kind of person you are deep down.
   • Even if you're not comfortable being funny, studies suggest that simply smiling at someone you're interested in may be enough to catch their interest. If you want to catch a woman's eye and your instinct is to be funny, then go for it. But if humor's not your thing, try to smile to make yourself appear more fun and approachable.
7. Wear red. It may sound strange, but studies have shown that both men and women are deeply attracted to people who wear the color red. That's because red has subconscious associations with sexuality, fertility, health, and social status. Some psychologists therefore recommend wearing an article of clothing that is red in order to send visual cues that you are a suitable partner.
   • If you're dressing elegantly for an occasion, wear a red tie (if you're a man) or a red dress (if you're a woman) to impress the women you meet. If you're going to a more casual occasion, wear a red shirt or blouse to catch a woman's eye.

Planning a Date Once You've Met

1. Ask her out. If you've met a woman you're interested in and you seem to have hit it off well conversationally, the next step is to ask the woman out on a date. Here it is particularly important that you avoid pickup lines or cheesy remarks, as this is sort of a make-or-break situation. If you like the woman and she seems to like you, be polite and respectful while asking about concrete plans. Try saying something like, "I have to be going soon, but I was wondering - would you like to get together for coffee or a drink this weekend?"
   • The best way of asking someone out is a respectful, open invitation. The example above is structured around more-or-less concrete plans: one or both of you may be busy on a particular day, but "the weekend" is open and flexible, and having coffee or a drink leaves the ball in her court on what she would like to do. Either way, it's an invitation to a social place within a set time frame.
2. Plan a good date. An ideal first date should give you both a chance to get to know one another, while also offering some level of energy. For example, after dinner or coffee (or whatever activity/atmosphere you plan), you may want to go for a long walk together. That way, if the conversation starts to lag, you'll have something to talk about: the park, the city scenery, or the surrounding neighborhood's atmosphere.
3. Flirt with her. If you're on a date and you think it's going well, it's okay to be a little flirty. You don't have to be overt about it - in fact, subtle flirting may be even more approachable, and is generally preferred in courting rituals. Most people don't like flirting that feels like flirting, so be somewhat subtle and suggestive in expressing your interest.
   • Lock eyes for a few seconds, then look away. Don't stare, but don't appear disinterested, either.
   • Smile and convey happiness and interest.
   • Try to replicate her body language. This shouldn't be an exact replication, of course, but if she's exhibiting body language that conveys an interest, exhibit your own interested body language.
4. Be honest. Honesty goes both ways: you owe it to your date to be honest with her, but you should also be honest with yourself. If you meet and go on a date and you know, deep down, that it's not going to work, recognize that. That feeling won't go away with time, and will only make things more difficult when you do eventually end the relationship.
   • Be prepared to politely tell her it's not going to work, if that's how you feel. If you know things won't work out, say at the end of the date, "I enjoyed meeting you, and this has been fun, but I don't think this would work out. Thank you for a lovely evening, though. Take care." You should also be prepared to hear her say those words to you.

Tips

• Be kind, compassionate, and caring.
• Positive, sincere compliments go a long way. Just make sure you don't use too many, because you may come across as desperate.
• Try to make it obvious that you like her during the first few times you meet her. You shouldn't mislead a potential partner: if you're interested in her romantically, let her know or send her hints.

Warnings

• When being polite and courteous, do not treat her like someone who is incapable of doing anything for herself. Most women find this insulting, and she'll most likely resent you for it.
• If you fail to get a woman's phone number or contact details, don't push for it. Be courteous and respectful by saying goodbye and walking away.
• Avoid making sexual jokes. You may come across as aggressive or brutish and immature.

Things You'll Need

• Soap and shampoo
• Shaving cream and a razor (optional)
• A willingness to approach others and engage in conversation
• Some funny jokes that aren't crass or offensive

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Sources and Citations

See also

• Have an Exclusive, Long Term, Mature, Serious (and Healthy) Relationship
• Maintain Old Friendships
• Bond With Loved Ones
• Stop Self Doubt from Ruining a Relationship
• Build and Maintain Strong Relationships
• Be More Involved in Your Adult Child's Life
• Deal With a Non Committed Relationship
• Show Empathy
• Make a Platonic Relationship Work
• Improve Your Relationships

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