Pick Lingerie for a Girlfriend

Picking lingerie for your girlfriend can be daunting. However, with a little harmless snooping, trust in the sales staff, and respect for your girl's tastes, you can undoubtedly find something that will please the both of you. The most important thing to remember, though, is to buy something for her, rather than for yourself.

Steps

Doing Reconnoissance Before Shopping

1. Go through her underwear. When you are at her place, wait for your girlfriend to become distracted by something that will keep her busy for a few minutes (e.g. talking on the phone, paying bills, walking the dog). Then sneak into her bedroom and peek in her underwear drawer. Or, if you want to win some bonus points with her, offer to do her laundry once it has piled up. Either way, gain access to her underwear and nightwear to find out what she needs size- and style-wise.
2. Check her size. Once you have access to her underwear, note down the sizes of her bras, panties, and any other lingerie she might own. With bras, be sure to note down both the number (chest-size) and the letter (cup-size). Also, make a note of the company that made each article, since sizing may vary between brands.
   • If possible, find at least three bras and three panties that are each made by different companies. When you go shopping, provide this info to the staff so they can guide you with sizing if you want to buy lingerie made by a different company altogether.
3. Gauge her tastes. Now that you have her size written down, go through her undies again and get a sense of what she prefers. Write down which colors and fabrics she gravitates toward. Find out if she ever buys herself thongs or if she is clearly more comfortable wearing briefs and/or boyshorts. With bras, look for which style she tends to buy most often: full cups, half-cups, sheer, strapless, camisole-style, etc.
   • While you are in her room, also check out the shades of makeup that she likes to wear as a helpful indicator of what colors she might enjoy in lingerie.
4. Make a note of what she needs. Once you have a more solid idea of what types of lingerie she likes to wear, go through her drawer again. Keep a rough tally of how many articles of each type you find. Note the condition they are in, as well. Find out what she is running low on or will need to replace soon.
   • Keep in mind that, while your girlfriend probably never wears a pair of panties more than once in between washes, she might wear each bra a few times before washing it. So if she has an even number of bras and panties, take that to mean that she may need a few more panties.
5. Share fantasies to learn her tastes. If you want to buy her something beyond mere bras and panties, but she owns nothing else to point you in the right direction, propose a little dirty talk via phone, text, or email when you aren’t together. Tell each other stories. Note what kinds of lingerie she chooses when she describes how she is dressed. Keep a pen handy in case she mentions anything you don’t recognize by name.

Shopping on Your Own

1. Form a budget. Brace yourself for the high cost of lingerie, but don’t let it dissuade you. The price-tag usually reflects the quality of materials and support, so if you can’t afford the good stuff right away, be patient. Set aside money when you can. Impress your girlfriend with quality, long-lasting items that feel good to the touch, rather than waste your money on something so cheap that it quickly falls apart, irritates her skin, and/or just looks blah.
   • For a safe, minimal guesstimate, plan to spend around $100 on a matching top-&-bottom set.
2. Factor in her tastes. Draw inspiration from what you found in her underwear drawer. Consider what she already owns and think of how you can vary her collection without straying too far from her preferences. Sort through different colors, materials, and cuts that will give her more options, while still adhering to what you know she likes. For example:
   • Are most of her pieces solid black? Then find other pieces in black, only with some detail that spices it up, like a red or white bow, trim, or ribbing.
   • Does she have a wide variety of colors, but the pieces themselves are pretty plain and merely functional? Find items in similar colors, only with more intricate and/or racy designs.
3. Research other styles of lingerie. If “bras” and “panties” are the only items you can identify by name, expand your terminology if you wish to dress your lady in more than just those. Peruse websites for online retailers to learn the various categories of other lingerie. If you have a specific item in mind but can’t find a label that identifies it, print the image to bring with you to the store, rather than try to describe it in vague terms to the salesperson.
   • Popular styles include babydolls, bustiers, chemises, corsets, garter belts, and teddies.
4. Emphasize her best assets. Take her own body issues into consideration, whether or not you feel they are warranted. Be sure that, whatever you end up buying her, she will feel comfortable wearing it. Browse items that show off or highlight those areas of her body that she is most proud of. Steer clear of pieces that call attention to areas that make her feel embarrassed.
   • For example, if your girlfriend complains about having a big butt, nix the thong. If she feels self-conscious about her tummy, opt for a loose babydoll instead of a tight-fitting camisole.
5. Consider the occasion. If this is a gift meant for a holiday like Christmas or Hanukkah, keep your picks exciting, but still well within the conservative realm. Prioritize elegance over raciness to avoid offending her in case she takes the spirit of the season very seriously. Do the same with her birthday to make sure she knows this is a gift for her and not for you. But for occasions like Valentine’s day, anniversaries, or even just the hell of it, feel free to be more daring and surprise her with something naughty.
6. Keep her personality in mind. Resist the temptation to dress your girl up solely according to your own fantasies and preferences. When you come across items you like, imagine that she is shopping with you. Anticipate her reactions before you spend money on something that, had you thought about it first, you should have known would never, ever be worn by her.
   • Does she tend to keep her inner child on full display? Stick to bright, playful colors and designs with polkadots and bows.
   • Is she more of a lady with a capital L? Choose a garter belt and stockings to match a fancy top-&-bottom set, or go with an elegant charmeuse.
7. Brave the brick-&-mortar stores. If you are male, shopping online may seem like an easy way to avoid feeling like a creep in the lingerie aisle, but rest assured: sales staff are well accustomed to helping husbands and boyfriends select items for their special ladies. Rely on their experience and advice to improve the odds of making your girl happy. Also, the image of a certain item might look enticing online, but not so much when it arrives in the mail.
   • Give the salesperson your list of sizes that you found in your girl’s underwear drawer if there are any discrepancies between brands.
   • Show them pictures of your girl so they have an idea of her body-type, skin-tone, preference in makeup, and overall sense of style. This way, they can give you more informed recommendations if you are uncertain of what to get.

Shopping Together

1. Surprise your girlfriend with a shopping trip. If you feel too overwhelmed by all the choices out there, and/or feel uncertain of what your girlfriend thinks is too outrageous, then bring her along! Rely on the ultimate expert of what your girlfriend likes: your girlfriend. Make shopping together an adventurous prelude to breaking out your purchase at home.
2. Let her try on whatever she likes. If your budget is an issue, stick to it when it comes time to select what you are actually going to bring home with you that day. In the meantime, though, let your girlfriend try on the whole store if she likes. Make a mental note of what she immediately gravitates toward, as well as any unexpected items that excite her. Know exactly what to buy the next time around when you go shopping on your own.
3. Flatter her when you like a certain piece. If you feel excited by an item that she tries on but feels uncertain about, express it! Be sure to compliment her, though, rather than the item alone, as in, “You look great in that,” instead of, “That looks great.” Build her self-confidence so she feels perfectly comfortable wearing the styles you like most.
4. Be cautious in how you express distaste. Should your girlfriend absolutely love a piece that totally turns you off, don’t be dismissive. Give the reason why you don’t like it some thought, even if (or especially if) your knee-jerk reaction is instantly negative. Before you share the reason why, compliment the way she looks in it so her self-esteem isn’t threatened. Then let her know why you don’t find that particular item attractive, and finish with a complimentary suggestion of how another, similar piece might satisfy the both of you.

Tips

• If your lady is a plus size, look at images online to decide for yourself what kind of lingerie you think will suit her shape.
• Do not pick lingerie for your girlfriend if your relationship is brand new. It can easily be misinterpreted. Save the lingerie gift for when your girlfriend is comfortable enough with you to accept it.
• Black and white are good fail-safe colors. Black in particular has a slimming effect.

Things You'll Need

• Your girlfriend's preferences for lingerie
• Your girlfriend's bra, panty and dress sizes

Related Articles

• Buy Women's Lingerie (for Men)
• Buy Lingerie As a Gift

Sources and Citations

See also

• Dry Pantyhose in a Hurry
• Wear Thong Underwear
• Keep Bra Straps in Place
• Flatter Your Body Shape With Lingerie
• Buy Pantyhose for Men
• Undo a Bra One Handed
• Buy a Corset
• Put on a Loincloth
• Choose Comfortable Underwear
• Choose a Corset

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What links here

• Buy Lingerie As a Gift