Recreate Your Life

Have you realized that your life isn't anything close to what you want it to be? This article will give you advice on how to recreate your life. Whether your desire to change was spurred by a mid-life crisis, a near-death experience, a shattering epiphany or a painful separation, you still have time to create the life that you want.

Steps

Take an Inventory of Your Life as It Is Now

  1. Write down exactly what's wrong with your life. What areas are making you the most unhappy? Choose the area that you most want to change. For example:
    • Do you hate your love life (or lack thereof)?
    • Are you sick of your job and desperate for a new career?
    • Do you have negative family relationships that constantly drag you down?
    • Do you hate your appearance and how it's affecting your health?
    • Are you irresponsible with money and buried in debts?
  2. Decide what you would change if no obstacles stood in your way.
    • Who is your ideal partner? Or do you need some time to play the field before you can figure out what you want in a relationship?
    • What did you always want to be when you grew up? If that wish is no longer realistic, can you come close to it or pick something else that would still make you happy?
    • Do you still want to repair family relationships, or would you rather end them altogether?
    • What specific things would you change about your appearance? Your weight? Your hairstyle and makeup? Your wardrobe?
    • What does real financial health look like for you?
  3. Notice what is working about your life. Maybe you have been financially responsible and have savings in the bank so that you can afford to take a career risk. Perhaps you have a very supportive family.
    • Which elements of your life currently work very well? Make a list of both big and small positives.
    • How can these elements of your life help you to fix the parts that aren't working? What should you keep and what are you willing to sacrifice in order to change other parts of your life?

Harness the Power of Intention

  1. Write down the changes that you want to make. Make lists and time-lines. Read them every day, preferably when you wake up.
    • Where do you want to be in 5 years? 10 years? 20 years?
    • What do you want to accomplish before you die?

  2. Choose 1 activity for each change that you can complete within the next 48 hours.
    • Break up with a partner who isn't fulfilling your needs or give your partner an ultimatum.
    • Spiff up your resume. Start looking for job ads or talking to friends who work in the industry that you want to join. Take a class in your preferred field.
    • Call, e-mail or send a card to a family member with whom you've experienced a rift. If a family member is treating you inappropriately, then call that person and lay down the new rules of conduct.
    • Make a salon appointment to update your look. Alternatively, start walking for 30 minutes per day or start cutting back on sweets.
    • Open a savings account and start saving 10 percent of your paycheck. Create a timetable for paying off your debts.
  3. Make a list of core values. If you could be any kind of person instantly, what would you be like?
    • Perhaps you value honesty, thrift, hard work and creativity. Or maybe you want to live with more spontaneity.
    • Write down your values and start living them out. Stop settling for values that have only made you miserable.

Demonstrate Integrity

  1. Identify and accept your feelings. Your feelings are a guide to what is good and bad in your life. If something is making you angry, then figure out why and resolve the situation instead of pushing it away.
  2. Make your speech consistent with your feelings. Don't accept something inappropriate just because you don't want to shake up the status quo. Avoid telling someone that you feel one thing when you feel the opposite.
  3. Practice what you preach. If you expect others to act a certain way, then act according to the same standards in your own life.
  4. Maintain your standards. If you want a certain characteristic in a partner, then stop settling for relationships that don't meet your needs. If you want to take care of your body, then stop eating foods that make you unhealthy.
  5. Repair your past. Seek forgiveness for wrongs you've done that still bother you a great deal.
    • The only exception to this rule would be if you have done thing egregious or illegal to someone that would be very traumatic for the other person to relive. In a case like this, you'll have to settle for forgiving yourself.
    • Avoid cowardice. If you know that you've done something wrong and that you've never apologized, write the offended person a letter or call them. The other person may or may not respond positively, but you've done what you needed to do to try to right the wrong.

Articulate Your Dreams

  1. Share your vision for your new life with other people. Practice articulating your dreams in a clear and positive way.
  2. Take steps toward achieving your goals. Go back to the lists that you made and start taking action steps toward the life that you want.
  3. Stay committed. You will run into obstacles along the way that will make you doubt yourself. However, you can't afford to go back to a life in which you silenced your dreams and tried to live according to someone else's values.

Associate with Supportive and Inspiring People

  1. Find 1 person who believes in you and in your dreams. Everyone needs someone who is supportive no matter what happens. Talk to that person about your victories, your setbacks and your doubts.
  2. Seek a larger circle of people who are like minded. You may enjoy a support group or workshops in which you can meet other people who are working to make similar changes.
  3. Meet inspirational people. Go to forums, workshops or other events that feature a person who you deeply admire. In a few cases, the person may not turn out to be as great as you'd hoped. In many cases, you'll leave inspired, and you never know who may be willing to help you along the way.
  4. Spend less time with negative people. You may not be able to completely cut ties, but you can choose how to most effectively spend your time. Visit unhelpful family members only on major holidays, or avoid free-spending friends who cause you to blow too much money on the weekends.

Tips

  • Expand your comfort zone. Do something that's completely out of character. Shave your head, wear a miniskirt, try karaoke or do a cartwheel while you're barefoot on the grass. Stepping out of your comfort zone will help you get used to facing your fears. You'll also get used to facing people's reactions when you do something they'd never expect you to do.
  • Consider making a big change. Switch careers, move to a different area or end a relationship that's bringing you down. Stop your life from becoming a fruitless and tiresome routine.
  • It might be hard at first but, if you keep on persevering, it will get easier.
  • Never give up. It takes a long time to get there but if you keep trying, you'll be the person you always wanted to be.

Warnings

  • When you get better at speaking the truth about your feelings and opinions, be mindful of hurting other people unnecessarily. Try to communicate in a helpful and not a hurtful way.
  • Realize that life is short. You may die years from now, or you may die tomorrow. What kind of legacy do you want to leave behind? You need to decide now before it's too late to change.
  • Respect the people who love you. You may want to blow your life completely open, but these changes could be negative for your partner or your children. Talk openly with the people you love and try to find a balance that protects them while liberating you.

Things You'll Need

  • A journal or notebook
  • A pen
  • A plan

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Sources and Citations

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