Stay Sober
Alcoholism is a debilitating disease that affects you and every person you know. Friends and family are especially prone to being hurt by the detrimental effects of alcoholism. It's easy to repeatedly promise to quit drinking, but taking the initiative to stop drinking and sober up for good is much harder. If you're trying to stay sober but keep relapsing, follow these steps to make your life more manageable.
Contents
Steps
- Remove all temptations from your life. That means every last one. Place yourself only in situations that will help you. Don't tempt yourself. If you just quit drinking, it's not a good idea to go out to bars, pubs, or nightclubs around town, let alone to be in the same room with alcohol.
- Get rid of all the alcohol in your home, if you haven't already. Even if you have an expensive bottle of scotch or a fancy bottle of cabernet, it won't do you any good — ever. If you feel guilty about throwing nice alcohol away, give it to your friends or family.
- Ask friends who tend to drink alcohol often to tone down their drinking while in your company. If they refuse, you may not want to spend time with them while they drink. The less you are around alcohol, the less you will be tempted to break your resolve.
- Ask your friends to not drink around you completely. This is the easiest way to avoid temptation.
- Avoid events that will be alcohol-heavy. This means weddings, concerts, 30th birthday parties, and any other raucous affairs. Though you may be able to attend these without being tempted one day, if you're struggling to stay sober, don't make it harder for yourself.
- Lean on your support system. Whether it comes from friends, family, or recovery groups, you can't overcome alcoholism alone. Find people who will support your decision to sober up, and tell them about the goals you have set for yourself. If you think you might be tempted to have a drink or waver in your fastidiousness, call them immediately and talk to them about your urges. They will calm you down, help you through your withdrawal, and boost your confidence.
- Attending a weekly support group like Alcoholics Anonymous can also be beneficial. By connecting with other current and recovering alcoholics, you can find sympathetic voices who will guide you through the process of overcoming alcoholism. AA is a fantastic resource, but it's not for everyone. If you decide not to join AA or another recovery program, make sure you have a strong enough of a support system to stay sober without it.
- Find a close friend, or even an acquaintance, who has struggled with staying sober in the past. Ask for advice.
- Open up to a family member. Your family will love you unconditionally, and will be a great support system.
- Get rid of any judgmental or negative people in your life. If they're not with you, then they're against you. This especially means other people who enable your drinking.
- Stay committed. Don't talk yourself out of your decision. It's easy to have your doubts when you first quit drinking. But don't lose confidence in yourself! If you truly believe you can stop drinking, then you can. Never doubt your ability for real self-improvement.
- It's important to remind yourself of the problems you had while you were drinking and how much your family and friends will appreciate your sobriety and newfound health.
- If you're feeling weak, don't keep it to yourself and don't be alone. Spend time opening up to a friend.
- Write a list of all the reasons you want to quit and keep it framed above your bed or desk.
- Write another list of all of the awful things you did when you were drinking. Accept that this was your behavior — whether it was alcohol-induced or not. Tell yourself that you will never act this way again, and that you will never drink again because you don't want to hurt the people closest to you as well as yourself. You can keep this list hidden, but in an easy-to-find spot.
- Don't give up if you relapse. You might have had a bad night or two, but don't be discouraged. This is only natural, and what's important is that you keep trying.
- Reward yourself for not drinking. Breaking an alcohol addiction is an incredible achievement, and you should recognize the hard work you've put in. Don't forget to remind yourself how tough you really are by rewarding yourself.
- Separate the money that you would have spent on alcohol. Noticing the amount of money that you save by not drinking will only help your determination through this rigorous process. You can use it for something fun, or save it up for a "dream gift" to yourself.
- Give yourself a treat every week. For every week that you stay sober, eat your favorite treat, whether it's a fudge sundae or a steak from your favorite restaurant. Though you shouldn't become an unhealthy eater, a treat once in a while will make you feel stronger.
- Keep a calendar that marks every day that you are sober. Tell yourself that every time you pass thirty more days without a drink, you will do something special, whether it's hiking in your favorite mountains, or spending an entire Sunday rewatching all the episodes of your favorite childhood show.
- Stay busy and active. If you spend all of your time alone in a dark house, it's likely you will feel lonely and depressed and will want a drink because you won't have anything better to do. If you fill your life with the things you love, you'll be less likely to want to drink. Here are some things you can do:
- Stay healthy. Commit yourself to eating three balanced meals a day, and exercise for at least 30 minutes a day.
- You can even commit yourself seriously to one sport. Start running a few times a week and work yourself up to a 5K or a 10K. Your body will feel better, and so will your mind.
- Find a new hobby. Learn a foreign language, or take a ceramics or creative writing class. You'll be able to expand your mind and will make some friends in the process.
- Stay busy by setting goals. Tell yourself that you will run fifteen miles in one month, write twenty poems in two weeks, or that you will finish your first oil painting by the summer. Set up a schedule and stick to it.
- Remember that you won't be able to "just have a few beers" again — not ever. You might have gone five years without having a drink and are feeling in great shape, mentally strong, and proud of the healthy relationships you've been maintaining. Someone offers you a glass of wine and you shrug and accept it. That's okay, right? No way.
- You may be on top of the world, but you and alcohol do not mix. Why risk everything you've worked so hard for?
- Drinking is a slippery slope. Soon one glass of wine will turn into a few glasses, which will turn into...what happened last night?
- Unless you are a superhero, you won't be able to enjoy alcohol again in moderation like many of the people around you. It's okay. You have been working on being a well-rounded person and have so many amazing interests that it shouldn't matter.
Tips
- If someone asks if you would like a drink, just decline politely. You don't have to label yourself to anyone.
- If you find yourself in a social situation where people are drinking, keep a non-alcoholic drink in your hand. This will keep people from asking questions.
- Keep a journal where you get in touch with yourself and chart your progress.
- More than a few people have observed and can confirm that the decision or choice to drink comes something called the addictive voice, the one that will find any excuse to drink, to celebrate, to wallow in pity, to sway one towards the deep pleasure of drinking to oblivion.
- Walk away from any form of difficult situation or person showing aggression. challenge your thoughts and any obsession or compulsion to pick up.
- Stay positive. Don't drink alcohol, drink soft drink. Be around other non drinkers. Keep fit by exercising, make that your new hobby by going to a gym rather than a bar. Watch movies and eat lots of munchies. Distract yourself from having a drink.
Warnings
- Alcoholism is a serious disease, and if you are repeatedly trying to stay sober but just can't do it, see a doctor or consider checking into a rehab center. Whatever you do, don't do it alone.
- Be wary when joining support groups, especially at a time when a person is demoralized, in pain, and desperately in search for an answer. While in this condition, some people are easily victimized or vulnerable to manipulation.
- Most 12-step groups are clearly religious in nature, some refer to them as cults that become difficult to leave, and that sitting around with a bunch of other drunks "sharing" stories about drinking more often makes people want to drink, more so than before the meeting.
