Tell Your Parents You Got a Ticket

If you’ve gotten a ticket for a driving violation, you’ll have to talk to your parents. Prepare yourself for the conversation by planning when and how you’ll talk with them. Tell them the facts in a mature way and show them you can be as serious about taking responsibility for your ticket as you are about driving.

Steps

Preparing for the Talk

  1. Think about how you want the conversation to go. Plan what you would like to say. Make sure you can clearly explain why you got the ticket. Write down the main things you want to tell your parents.[1]
    • List the facts that you need to tell them: what the ticket is for, when you got it, and how much it will cost.
    • Get ready to answer questions your parents will ask, like if anyone else was in your car.
  2. Don’t procrastinate. Your parents will probably find out about the ticket sooner or later. You are probably on their insurance, your car is probably registered to them, and you might need their help paying the ticket. It’s better to tell them about the ticket before their insurance premiums might go up.[2]
    • Telling them as soon as possible shows you can face the responsibilities that come with driving.
  3. Find a good time to talk. Plan to speak with your parents when they will be most receptive and positive. Make sure you will have their attention. Don’t talk to them when they might be tired from work, hungry, or feeling bogged down by something else.
    • Ask your parents when you can talk: “Are you free? Is this a good time to talk about something important?”
    • If they seem busy, you can say: “I have something important to tell you. When is a good time?”
    • Tell your siblings that you have to talk to your mom and dad alone.

Having the Talk

  1. Give your parents the facts. Tell them exactly what happened. Be straightforward and just state the facts. Show that you are mature enough to tell them about the ticket without making excuses.
    • Speaking to your parents in a grown-up way about the ticket can also show them that you are mature enough for the responsibility of driving.
    • Start by saying: “I have to tell you that I got a ticket.” Then tell them what the ticket is for.
    • Share some facts, like where you got pulled over and when.
    • Tell them: “I understand what I did was wrong.”
    • Ask them if they have any questions.
  2. Stay calm. Your parents will respond better to you if you speak calmly. Don’t get defensive. It’s hard to have a conversation with someone on the defensive. And acting defensive, especially when you are wrong, is childish.[3]
    • Don't say: "But it wasn't my fault!" or "Don't blame me!"
  3. Share your feelings. You might be embarrassed or afraid of disappointing your parents. Sharing how you feel can make it easier to have your conversation. Let them know how you feel about telling them and how you feel about the ticket. [4]
    • You might say: “I feel like I disappointed you” or “I am embarrassed.”
    • This is the right time to say: “I am sorry.”
  4. Ask your parents’ advice. Tell your parents that you want to avoid tickets in the future. Ask your parents about how they drive and what they do to avoid tickets. This will show that you are serious about being a good driver.
    • Ask them: “How do you avoid tickets?” or “Do you have any advice to make me a better driver?”
    • Be sure to tell them: “I don’t want to get a ticket again.”

Accepting Responsibility

  1. Accept the punishment you get. After you talk to your parents, they might decide to punish you. You should gracefully accept their punishment. Dealing with your punishment in a mature way shows them you can handle the responsibility of driving.
    • Say: “I understand that I have to accept the consequences.”
    • Don’t whine when you’re told what your punishment is.
  2. Suggest driving school. You might tell your parents that you want to go to driving school so you won’t get points on your license. Going to driving school can reduce your insurance premiums. It also demonstrates how serious you are about keeping your license and having a clean driving record.
    • Do some research and show your parents what you found out about driving school.
    • Make a plan for getting to driving school and paying for it so they know you are serious.
  3. Offer to help pay the fine. Pay the ticket if you can afford it. If you don’t have enough money, offer to pay what you can. Taking this level of responsibility for your ticket is the best way to show that you can handle the responsibility of driving.
    • If you want a job, this might be a good time to talk to your parents about getting one so that you can pay for car-related expenses.
    • Ask your parents if you can gradually pay them back for the ticket. Setting up a definite plan to pay them back is another way to show your maturity and that you can handle the consequences of your actions.

References

  1. ↑ https://www.girlshealth.gov/feelings/talk/
  2. ↑ https://www.idrivesafely.com/driving-resources/how-to/ticket/
  3. ↑ https://hbr.org/2013/11/dont-get-defensive-communication-tips-for-the-vigilant
  4. ↑ http://kidshealth.org/en/teens/talk-to-parents.html#
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