Accept a Marriage Proposal

It's easy to get excited if you're expecting a proposal. You may dream about the moment and how you'll react; you may even live the proposal a thousand times over in your head before it actually happens. Marriage proposals can be surprising or expected, depending on the dynamic of your relationship and the circumstances surrounding the proposal. No matter the circumstances, however: if you want to get married, all you need to do is smile, say "Yes!", and accept the proposal with grace.

Steps

Preparing for a Proposal

1. Don't ruin the surprise. If you believe that your partner plans to propose to you, give him or her the chance to carry out a plan. Don't try to rush the process along. Don't give any indication that you expect it.
   • If you find out for certain that your partner is planning to propose, you can take two approaches. You can address the situation up-front and tell your partner that you know, or you can wait for the proposal and do your best to act surprised. Consider which scenario will work best within your relationship dynamic.
2. Don't get ahead of yourself. If you know that your significant other is planning to propose, try to keep it to yourself. Restrain your excitement; don't tell your friends, your parents, or even strangers. Nothing is certain. You might be embarrassed or disappointed if you build the situation up in your head.
3. Make sure that your answer is "yes". Think about your life, career, and relationship goals; your maturity level and your personal finances; your significant other. Ask yourself whether getting married is the right choice for you right now. If you say yes, you should do so wholeheartedly, without any doubts. Explore your misgivings, if you have any, and determine how valid they are.
   • Search your soul. Make a list of pros and cons, or journal your thoughts, or speak with a trusted confidante. It is perfectly reasonable to do a bit of soul-searching before making such a huge decision.
   • If you find yourself uncertain, do not feel pressured to accept the proposal. You can always ask your partner to give you time. You can keep the relationship in your life without committing to a marriage just yet. You don't need to do anything that makes you uncomfortable.

Accepting the Proposal

1. Reevaluate your feelings in the moment. It is easy to block out the words and start listening to the voices in your head. However, it may be wise to pay attention to exactly what your partner is saying. Consider the implications of his or her words. When all is said and done, consider your feelings on the topic: even if you've already thought it through, ask yourself in the moment whether you are ready to marry this person. Feelings can change when you confront the reality of a situation.
   • Don't take too long. It's good to stay in touch with your feelings, but you might offend your partner if you keep him/her waiting.
2. Smile and say, "Yes!" Be genuine and straightforward. Make it clear that you are accepting. If you hesitate or joke about the situation, you may hurt or confuse your significant other. Let yourself be swept up in the moment. Let it be special! It may feel more authentic if you don't plan your reaction.
   • Let your emotions show how excited you are about marrying him/her. Say, "Yes, yes, a thousand times yes!" or "Oh my gosh – of course I'll marry you!"
   • If your partner set up a special proposal (e.g. something with a theme, or something that plays on an inside joke between the two of you), consider responding in line with that theme. Have fun with it.
   • Starting with things like "Oh, Sam..." may throw your partner off balance. Unclear words can confuse the proposer. You may need to repeat your answer – it's easy for the proposer miss your words in his/her haste. Repetition also affirms your answer and makes it feel more real.
3. Show your emotions. Thinking about this kind of commitment might make you feel excited, peaceful, or anxious. Whatever you are feeling, feel free to express it to your significant other. If you want to build a life with this person, you should share your emotions! There are times when it's better to play it cool, but accepting a proposal is not one of those times.
4. Touch your partner. Place your hand on your partner's hand, and show some affection toward him/her. This small gesture will show some support and give your partner a sense of closure. Don't be afraid to show your excitement with your gestures. Hug him; kiss him; throw yourself into his arms. Make the moment special!
5. Let your new fiancee put the ring on your left-hand ring finger. This is a classic marriage tradition in many Western cultures. The proposer gets down on one knee and opens the ring box to "pop the question"; the fiancee-to-be blushes, gets excited, says "Yes!"; and the ring slides onto the finger to symbolically seal the deal. You don't need to do this right away, and you can let the proposer take the lead – but it wouldn't hurt to hold out your left hand to make it easier.
   • If the ring does not slide on easily, you may have to help your new fiancee put it on.
   • If the ring turns out to be the wrong size, accept the situation gracefully. Your fiancee will probably be rather embarrassed, so just act natural. You can always take the ring to a jeweler to be re-fitted; but you cannot redo this magical moment. Focus on how excited you are to be engaged!

Preparing to Marry

1. Spread the word. Now is the time to get excited! Tell all of your friends and family, if that's your thing – or simply pass the news along as it comes up. Consider posting a status or photo to social media. This can be an efficient and appreciative way to spread the word to most of the important people in your life.
   • Consider your partner's comfort level, and consider the complexities of the situation. If you aren't supposed to be getting married (due to parents, religion, etc.), then it may not be wise to publicize the proposal just yet. On the other hand, if you have nothing to hide, a loving and joyful Facebook post might make your partner feel even more appreciated.
2. Talk to your now-fiancee about the conditions of your engagement. Make sure that you both understand what this means. You have committed to marrying this person, and to sharing a life together – so it's important to be on the same page. If you have any special considerations, make them clear early on. Make the engagement a collaborative process so that no one gets hurt.
3. Plan your wedding. Now that you're engaged, you have a wedding to look forward to! Collaborate with your partner, and make sure that you're both on the same page. You can plan a lavish wedding and invite all of your friends and family, or you can spring for a private, intimate wedding. Set a date and get planning – or simply head down to the courthouse!
   • Bear in mind that you may need to contend with the wishes of your parents and your future in-laws. You don't need to let them dictate the details, but you may not have a choice if they are helping you finance the wedding.
   • If you're planning a big wedding, get started sooner rather than later. Choose a Wedding Date, to start, or at least a general timeline. Do you want to get married next week; in six months; in two years?

Tips

• If you are not happy with the ring, don't say anything until you are in private with your new fiancee. There's nothing wrong with replacing the original ring with one you find more suitable. You and your fiancee can even choose a ring together. However, you should not humiliate someone you love just because you aren't completely satisfied.

Warnings

• If you don't want to get married, don't accept a marriage proposal. Accepting a marriage proposal without any intention of following through can be emotionally harmful to everyone involved. If you don't want to get married, you should discreetly and respectfully Refuse a Marriage Proposal to your partner as soon as possible.

Sources and Citations

See also

• Wear an Engagement Ring
• Propose to a Woman
• Propose to Your Boyfriend
• Propose for a Christian Marriage
• Choose an Engagement Ring
• Design Your Own Engagement Ring
• Give a Promise Ring
• Propose to a Man
• Be Supportive when Your Friend Gets Engaged
• Propose to a Woman Creatively

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What links here

• Propose to Her Using a Scavenger Hunt Game
• Reject a Marriage Proposal