Ask Someone to Take Off Their Shoes at Your Home

When you invite someone to your house it can be pretty awkward to ask him to remove his shoes — especially if the person is wearing sandals or flip-flops. But it's your house, so you have the right to request that your guests go shoeless inside your home. To do this politely, you'll need to consider a few aspects of the situation first.

Steps

Creating a Shoe Area

1. Create a place for shoes. This should be an area clearly visible from the entrance where you can place your shoes that you have taken off. You might want to include a rack to place shoes on, or even just a small mat or rug where you place the shoes.
   • When people enter, they'll see the "shoe area" with you and your family's shoes, they'll see you (and other household members) without shoes on, and hopefully they'll put two and two together.
2. Leave your own shoes in the shoe area. To make sure that the function of the space is understood, leave some of your own shoes in the shoe space so that your guests will see this and know what to do. Put several pairs of shoes in the shoe area.
   • If you create a shoe space without any shoes to occupy it, your guests may not realize that you want them to put their shoes there.
3. Put a sign up. To be absolutely certain that your guests understand the function of the shoe space, make a cute sign to hang above it. This will help eliminate any possible confusion.
   • You can include a cute phrase on the sign like, “Leave your worries (and your shoes) at the door.”
4. Create a mudroom. A mudroom is a space in a house (usually near the most used entrance/exit) that holds all the gear people wear outside — like coats, scarves, boots, shoes, etc. If you have a clearly designated room/area for these items, it is easy for guests to utilize the space.
   • If your guests have to go through or pass by the mudroom on their way into your home, it will be quite easy to encourage them to use it.

Phrasing the Question

1. Link the request with the invite into your house. Try saying, "Do come in — you can put your shoes on the rack." That way the request is linked neatly with the invitation to enter. In fact, it would be very awkward at this point for your guest to do anything other than remove her outer footwear.
2. Ask directly. If your guests remain oblivious to any visual clues you may have provided, you should ask them directly. Be firm, but polite with your request. Most people will respond positively because they won’t want to offend.
   • If you feel it is necessary, give a good reason for asking them such as having had new carpets or having just had them cleaned, the weather being particularly foul, or you can say that your driveway is gritty and you're trying to minimize how much of it gets brought in on shoes.
   • Try saying something like:
     • “I’d appreciate it if you took your shoes off when you come in. We’ve just had the carpets cleaned.”
     • “Please take your shoes off when you come in the house. We like to avoid tracking in toxins and bacteria whenever possible.”
   • Remember that it is your house, so you have every right to ask your guests to remove their shoes.
3. Inform your guests on the invite. If possible, it is best to let people know in advance that you would like them to remove their shoes. This will keep your guests from being caught off guard in a situation that may make them uncomfortable. It will also give them time to consider bringing their own slippers or wearing socks if they might have otherwise not worn socks.
   • You could say, "Oh, by the way we don't wear shoes in our house. You may want to bring some slippers or socks."
4. Be firm and polite if they want to refuse. Some people may not want to take their shoes off no matter what you say. At this point, you should consider how important your “no shoes” house rules are and decide if you want to cause a fuss about it.
   • If there is a cultural or religious reason for not wearing shoes in the house, be open and let your guests know how important it is. For example, “I’m very sorry this caught you off-guard, but where I’m from taking your shoes off before entering is a sign of respect. It would mean a great deal to me and my family if you could do us the honor of entering our home without your shoes.”
   • Remember that you are well within your rights to ask your guests to remove their shoes, but if this makes your guests uncomfortable, they may choose to leave. That is a risk you must be willing to take.

Providing Your Guests With Alternatives

1. Provide socks or slippers for guests. If you want your guests to take off their shoes, it might be a nice gesture to provide them with an alternative that is acceptable to both parties. Having some nice slippers or comfy socks available for your guests can help eliminate your guests’ feelings of discomfort or desire to push back against your request.
   • However, you will probably find that most guests will prefer to be in socks or bare feet than wear borrowed slippers.
   • You can also try buying some disposable shoe covers (like the kind doctors wear over their shoes) for your guest to wear over his bare feet. This way, she won't feel strange borrowing someone else's socks or slippers and you can throw away the used covers after she leaves.
2. Provide scented foot spray. It may be helpful for you to provide some scented foot spray near the area where you want your guests to remove their shoes. This will give your guests an alternative option if they are embarrassed about the possibility of having foot odor.
3. Be aware of alternative customs. In Japan, it is unheard of to walk into someone's house in your shoes, which are always left outside, and pretty slippers are always available. These can be bought quite cheaply in many local stores.
   • This cultural difference is why it’s a good idea to provide socks or slippers for your guests.

Tips

• While it may be scary to ask people to take their shoes off, remember that most people will feel more comfortable for having removed their shoes. Most people will not be at all bothered by having to remove their shoes. If you are a good host, most guests will be happy regardless of whether they are in their shoes or not.
• Ultimately, it is your responsibility as a host to ensure that your guests feel welcome in your home. If your guests wish to keep their shoes on you must ask yourself which is more important – your flooring or your friends.
• If you are inviting guests to a party, write your request for “no shoes” on the invitation.

Warnings

• Some people will not understand why you wish them to remove their shoes in your home, and may be offended.
• In some cultures, having bare feet is a sign of disrespect.
• Some people may have a good reason for not removing their shoes – be sure you know that they are not going to be embarrassed by your request.

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Sources and Citations

See also

• Bow and Curtsey
• Be a Good Customer
• Exit a Car Gracefully
• Be an Elegant and Mature Young Lady
• Be a Good House Guest
• Hug a Girl
• Fold a Handkerchief
• Hug
• Tell Someone No After They've Asked You Out
• Introduce People

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