Avoid Male Stereotypes
There is a line between being a "man" and being a "caveman." Usually guys cross this line and begin acting in abrasive ways. The idea that a man is only a man if he is rude, domineering, or chauvinistic, are stereotypes that need to change. Often times guys are forced into this role by pressure to assert themselves as real men. Small changes in your life can effectively make you more attractive to others, improve your self-image and allow people to view you in a better light. If you are ready to break free of some antiquated macho-role and improve your life, this How To is for you.
Contents
Steps
Physical Appearance
- Muscles. You do not need Rambo style muscles to be masculine, no matter what anyone says. Plenty of girls like all kinds of body types, and sometimes "Rambo" is a turn-off.
- Exercise properly to get or maintain a healthy and fit appearance.
- Never bulk up for someone else, especially not a current or potential lover. It's your body, you should change it only to make you happy.
- Eat properly in order to maintain a healthy weight. Men can eat more healthy foods and it does not take away from your manliness.
- If you are eating mostly processed foods, eat fresher things instead. Your diet affects all aspects of your life. The healthier a man is, the higher his stamina and the better his performance is mentally and physically. It doesn't hurt in the bedroom, either.
Grooming
- Keep yourself well-groomed. Treat is as an everyday thing.
- This doesn't mean you need to spend long amounts of time in front of a mirror, possibly annoying everybody else who shares your bathroom, but spend some time in front of it each day.
- Shower every day, especially after physical exertion when you sweat.
- Do not wait too long after exertion to shower, or else the salt in your sweat dries onto your clothes and your body - leaving you dirty and smelly.
- Use a good antiperspirant or deodorant.
- Spray on some cologne for special occasions or everyday events.
- Don't put on too much cologne if you do. Axe and Tag are good examples of this. Nobody likes to hold their breath around you because you wear too much cologne. Not many people like strong cologne, which makes it even easier to put too much on. Stick with a medium to weak scented cologne.
- Your hair need not be model-perfect, just clean and neat looking. The style isn't very important, as long as you are happy with it.
- Take care of scalp problems like dandruff as soon as you notice a problem.
- Keep your teeth clean by brushing at least twice a day, and floss at least once. Don't just brush what you see when you smile- brush all sides of your teeth, paying careful attention to the gum line.
- Also brush the roof of your mouth and tongue. Be gentle to the roof of your mouth.
- Keep your clothes clean. Stains can be removed usually by rubbing a little laundry detergent on it before throwing it in with the rest.
- Don't wear dirty clothes repeatedly just because they pass "the smell test"- you may not smell them because you are used to the smell. Others can and will.
- Throw out clothes with holes, rips, tears, permanent stains, bleach stains, etc. unless your clothes came that way or only wear them around the house. We all have that one tattered, but really comfy shirt or jeans and that's okay, but don't wear it for a night on the town. You don't want to look like a bum.
- Don't fake it. If something is "in style" but it isn't you, don't wear it! Sacrificing your personal taste for popular style is a mistake. You will look like you are trying too hard, or if you pull it off- you will project a false image of yourself. There is nothing wrong with being a jeans and T-shirt guy if you are one. Your clothes should fit your personality, never the other way around.
Personality and Mannerisms
- Don't be afraid to be polite, gracious, giving, or kind. These things don't make you less of a man. They make you a gentlemen. There are plenty of masculine men who open doors, say thank you and give up their seats for old ladies on the subway. Potential mates will find chivalry surprising- but wholly charming and attractive and all people appreciate politeness and courtesy.
- Confidence. Show it! People prize confidence highly, and everyone has some, even if you don't feel it all the time. Know your strengths as well as your weaknesses. Be proud of your strengths and in knowing that your weaknesses do not detract from your self worth. Show your self-assurance in the way you walk and with good posture. Keep your head up and your eyes forward looking ahead, or making eye contact with the person you're talking to instead of at the ground.
- Don't develop a big ego. Confidence is a very good thing. But when your self-worth gets out of hand, it can turn into cockiness and that is not good. Keep a balance grounded. Don't show off too much or seem over-confident. People can tell the difference. It makes you look like a jerk, and nobody likes a jerk.
- Keep in mind that the only man who should ever be emotionless is a statue of one. All emotions are perfectly fine and normal to have and display. Crying, being sad, hurt or happy is okay. The key is timing and compatibility, not the emotions themselves. It is perfectly acceptable to cry or be emotional around a lover. Usually, if you are open about your feelings with someone you care about, they will do the same. That leads to a deeper and more meaningful relationship. But don't turn into an overly-emotional fruitcake.
- Be Yourself. Be who you really are inside. Things you believe, your morals, feelings and interests should never change for anyone but you. It will do you no good to meet and deal with other people behind pretenses. If you can't be 100% you 100% of the time, that's okay (in fact, it's normal). But when appropriate, express yourself and talk about things you enjoy. You can connect more genuinely with people by being you, and they will like you for who you really are- consequently you will be able to do more things you enjoy with like-minded people.
Tips
- There are many whitening products out there for your teeth, ask a dentist which is right for you. Don't do many whitening regiments at one time- the chemicals involved can actually wear away the enamel of your teeth, making them more susceptible to pain and problems.
- Not all men want relationships. Not everyone has a soul mate. If you are a bachelor for life will want to avoid the "sad single stereotype"; not all bachelors are sad or angry: in fact some are extremely happy. This is a stereotype that are also well known and abused. The sad single stereotype is a lie; enjoy the perks of being single if you choose to do so. This requires ignoring the pressure of antagonizers to marry and if necessary ignoring the antagonizer as a whole. True couples will be polite and let you decide for yourself. Treat couples like you would yourself; with respect. Never push somebody else into your prospective; that is just as bad as pressuring someone else to get a girlfriend.
- Try to wash your clothes soon after working out, or sweating hard so they don't stain. Or if that's not realistic for you, wear an undershirt to prevent getting those unattractive white sweat-stains. If you work out regularly, get a shirt specifically for that so it doesn't matter if it gets sweat stained.
- If you are overweight by a larger amount [40lbs or more], talk to a health professional or dietitian and determine what diet/exercise ratio would work best for your personal body chemistry and lifestyle rather than taking wonder-drugs or Seen-On-TV diet plans. You can go it alone, but I suggest staying away from most drugs and advertised diet plans since they usually do more harm than good. Lots of research online in advance can pay off later in practice.
- It's not generally appropriate to talk about kinky porn at the office... But in the bedroom, you might find your interests are met with full enthusiasm- and you will be glad you were so honest... Also, it is much less stress to only have to remember things you are truly interested in. Pretending takes a lot of effort- and it's never worth it.
- You can eat better without changing too much. Most fast food places offer healthier choices and although they aren't the best- a McSalad beats a greasy burger. Unless you are going for major weight loss [40lbs or more], you can still drink beer and soda and enjoy a good cookout. Just lessen the amount or frequency of these not-so-good-for-yous, increase your activity and you'll be fine.
- Sometimes, earlier in relationships, some emotions may be a little overkill- You wouldn't want your date to pour out their life-sob-story over the linguine on the first day you meet, would you? Share your deeper emotions and feelings once you feel truly comfortable with the person.
- Mineral crystal type a-p/deodorants work well and last a long time. You can find it in most grocery and Walmart type stores- it runs high priced [$7-$10] for a-p/deodorant, but is a better deal in the long run as it does not run out for a year.
- No real man is a pervert. Perverts are another stereotype; real men can control their urges for sexual thoughts. Real men think clean appropriate clean thoughts; not sexual thoughts. It is easy to be a pervert but hard to think clean thought and have a clean mind. Real men can abstain from a dirty mind. A clean mind is as much a choice as your favorite foods. Sex is great in the bedroom; but not as away of thought. In fact a clean mind may just enhance the bedroom experience; by displacing sex from your mind to that special time.
- You don't have to have a "perfect" body. If your personality is bangin', and you are _healthy_ then you will attract people who like you for you-and that is better than attracting someone for bulging biceps that take constant upkeep- that you didn't really want in the first place.
Warnings
- Risk the temptation to use these new found mannerisms for evil... If you are a jerk who only wants to sleep with someone or get their money- there are plenty of people who are looking for that just like you. Don't fake a good personality just to get what you want from unsuspecting good people.. Not that it's harmful to -you- [your Karma maybe..] but it makes you a bad person and who wants to be a bad person, really? Promiscuity can however lead to the spread of lots of icky and very avoidable STD's. Wouldn't you rather spend your energy actually becoming a better person- rather than pretending to be one?
- If you want to gain muscle- stay away from steroids, whatever you do. Nothing good comes of them. Your muscles can explode [almost literally], it causes negative emotional and personality changes, and does nothing but bad to your sex life. Do it yourself- you'll be safer, healthier, and more proud that way.
