Be Classy and Fabulous
Many 'how to' articles about ladylike behaviour will insist that a daily blow-dry and remembering to smile will transform the reader into a goddess of poise and charm. This is of course nonsense. One requires far more than a touch of eyeliner and an aversion to dirty jokes to be a true good example of womanhood.
Contents
Steps
- Strive to improve oneself. Curiosity is the driving force of humanity; it pushes us to explore and push boundaries. The very best, classiest and most respected kind of human is the kind that never stops learning and exploring new ideas - being the best you can be. There are several ways to ensure you are functioning at your highest potential, and the first step is to prepare yourself to tackle them! If you want to be classy and fabulous, you must work at that reputation. It won't happen for you.
- Know your stuff. Broadening your mind is an excellent place to start if you want to come across as a really great human being. Think of strong female leaders like Aung San Su Kyi and Margaret Thatcher - for all the controversy that (unfortunately in this day and age) inevitably surrounds women in leadership, those who do succeed and those who make a difference are sharp and intelligent. All women should take pride in their education, and there are things one can do every day to boost educational credentials.
- Write well. Always use correct spelling and grammar when writing.
- Speak eloquently. Try not to use slang or drop your consonants.
- Expand your vocabulary. Look up words you don't know.
- Watch the news. Even if it's just a quick scan of the headlines over breakfast, make sure you are keeping up on what is going on in the world.
- Find a list of classics and get to the local library!
- Develop a grasp on national and world politics. You have a say in the running of this world, so make it your business to understand it - but don't discuss your views openly unless specifically asked. That would be inappropriate and boorish.
- Develop your intellect. Remember: it always, always, always pays to put that little bit extra effort into your intellectual life, because anybody with a hint of class knows that there's nothing less impressive than a dimwit.
- Stay healthy. If you want to remain healthy and active until the day you die, and have a dignified life right until the end, it's imperative that you keep yourself running smoothly. Your health is your most precious possession - without it, everything else in your life takes a back seat. So do that 20 minute DVD workout three times a week, or join a dance or martial arts class, or a sports team, or take up marathon training (this can be truly addictive after the first couple of weeks). Look at Wonder Woman - a female powerhouse with an Amazonian body, which not only packed enough of a punch to save the universe but also looked stunning in a ballgown. Make her your idol.
- Make sure you're putting in what you want to get out! One piece of advice is that you should never eat anything that doesn't have a root or a mother, and it's very true. Keeping preservatives and additives to a minimum. Instead, eat wholesome, natural foods - these are what make the body work best, because that's the kind of food it's supposed to eat. Besides, would you rather be seen snacking on wholemeal toast and a fruit smoothie, or cramming a saucy, greasy McDonald's sandwich into your mouth (and likely spilling the contents on your lap in the process)? Which do YOU think is more fabulous?
- Looks count. It's sad but true that looks count. This article is not going to tell you what clothes to wear or what colour your hair should be, but there are five basic rules one can follow that make the way you look a positive influence on your reputation.
- Your body and clothes should always be clean and odourless.
- You shouldn't expose your legs above mid-thigh, your midriff, or too much cleavage. It's basic decency. Keep it private.
- Your underwear should NEVER be visible when out and about. Remember that even white bras show through white tops - neutral is best.
- Your hair and make-up should be neat and simple.
- Your hair and make-up shouldn't take more than ten minutes to style.
- Behaving yourself is the next key step. So now you're well-informed, well-nourished and well-presented - excellent! You now have to be well-behaved to finish off the complete classy picture. We all have a friend or acquaintance who is a little 'gauche' and awkward, and in order to avoid those traits all you have to do is remain aware of yourself and your actions whilst in company. Of course, whilst home alone, nobody's watching to see if you lounge around glamorously in a satin robe or just slob about in PJs, but in company, poise is everything. The following steps are pointers regarding social behaviour for classy ladies who try to uphold a standard.
- Sit up straight. I can't repeat this enough. Imagine you are a ballerina holding a position on stage. Imagine you're having dinner with royalty. Imagine anything, as long as it keeps your shoulders firm and straight and your neck elongated. Good posture improves circulation and digestion (helpfully avoiding unladylike moments of wind at the table), as well as brightening the eyes and smoothing out your figure. Never slouch, lean or hunch. You are a lady!
- Cross your legs at the ankle under you chair. This is the most flattering pose for them and doesn't give you pins and needles.
- When eating, use your knife and fork rather than just the fork. Cut off one mouthful at a time (it's rude to take little bites off a larger piece on your fork). Naturally, close your mouth when eating. Basically avoid anything that involves exposing the contents of your mouth, overfilling your mouth, or the possibility of a spillage or mess. Also don't clink your cutlery and crockery together. When you have finished eating, put your knife and fork side by side in the centre of the plate.
- Touching yourself is awkward and should be avoided in public. for example, scratching one's nose, touching a pimple, picking at a hangnail, re-arranging one's clothing etc. Hands off if there are people around! It just makes you look awkward and socially unaware. You should seem effortless, as if you don't have to think about mundane things like that. Even if you're thinking, "Oh my God, my back is really itchy!" - do not scratch it until you're in private. The only exception is moving hair out of your eyes, but please, if this happens frequently, get a haircut!
- Another key point is conversation. The biggest rule of holding a classy conversation is that people with class do not, under any circumstances, start a topic of conversation about themselves. Don't mention yourself until asked (which you will be if you ask first, as long the people you are with have basic social skills. If they do not then either slowly educate them by example, or avoid them in future). It's all right to talk about yourself if asked, just don't be the first to bring yourself up.
- Most especially, do not mention your appearance. This is a sign of insecurity. If you find yourself wanting to ask if you hair's okay, if your clothes fit all right, if your label can be seen, what you should do with your hair - please bite your tongue unless it's your best friend. Discussing your own appearance is just not done. However, if in receipt of a compliment, you may naturally smile gratefully and give a humble thank-you before returning it pleasantly.
Tips
- Remember that the purpose of wanting to be classy and fabulous is not to look amazing, get tons of male attention and drown in party invitations. A classy woman is clever, healthy and friendly; a fabulous woman looks clean, neat and attractive without seeking compliments or advancement from her looks. The goal is to be lovely just because it's good and nice to be so - for yourself, rather than for men or your friends or rivals. It's your life, and if you want to use it to its full potential, learn everything you can, be as fit as you can, be as attractive as you can, and be as gracious and dignified as you can. Just by deciding to be that woman, you are already classy and fabulous, and you need to let that light shine out into the world and convince others to follow in your footsteps.
- You may be one of those people who feels like a spy after watching a James Bond movie. If this applies to you, then the best kind of movie to watch for a woman hoping to be classy is period dramas: Gosford Park, Brideshead Revisited, any Austen, etcetera. This article does not mean to say that everyone should put on airs and act like a dreadful aristocratic snob - certainly not! But watching aristocrats float about looking glamourous does wonders for the posture and speech - you end the film wanting to be all upright and properly spoken and demure, which can only aid in the process of becoming ladylike.
- If you're lacking inspiration, you could find a role model to emulate: a strong, classy, beautiful woman who really represents female life at its best. Perfect examples do not crop up in the everyday media - nobody could ever suggest that Katie Price was a shining example of classy womanhood after all - but they are out there. Look up Dr Beverly Crusher, C. J. Cregg, Laura Roslin, Temperance Brennan, Mae C. Jemison, Queen Elizabeth I of England, Captain Kathryn Janeway, Captain Amelia, Diana Prince or Eowyn of Rohan. You may even have an inspiring woman in your family or neighborhood.
Warnings
- At all costs, avoid becoming a snob or a know it all. Even if you've just got the gist of Russian politics or website creation from a bout of research you've been doing, don't brag about it to friends or try to squeeze it into conversations. Wait to be asked - they'll be so impressed that you knew such fascinating things all along and never said a word! It makes you a little mysterious too, which is a definite ladylike quality!
- Don't worry about your appearance. Don't change for others. If you think you look good, then as long as you're clean and decent, THAT'S FINE. You can look however you want. A lady is a lady in her gym clothes, in a suit, in jeans or in a frilly dress. A lady is a lady with bright blue hair, if she wants to be. It's your attitude, your determination to be better and to be classy that make you who you are. You can look however you want.
- Similarly, making an intellectual quip then throwing your head back in false posh laughter is NOT CLASSY. It's very, very gauche. But surprisingly easy to do by accident. It's also good to avoid pretending to recognize classical music/artworks/literature or getting on your high horse about a cause that you actually don't know very much about. Intellectual arguments just make the arguer look like a poser. Only join in if you really know what you're talking about.
