Be More Vulnerable in Relationships

You often mask your true self in a relationship. You have trouble expressing your fears and weaknesses, or making a long-term commitment, because it will make you emotionally vulnerable. If this sounds like you, read on for ways to begin being vulnerable in a relationship. The reward is a more contented self, and a more loving life.

Steps

  1. Analyze the reason you are avoiding being vulnerable: Trying to be indifferent or tough is often a defence mechanism. You may be trying to avoid getting hurt, as you did earlier in life. You may be trying to avoid hurting the other person in the relationship, so that they may look up to you as a protector. Your ego may be preventing you from revealing what you see as weaknesses. Give yourself a little time to analyze this root cause. If you have trouble, speak to an intimate friend or relative. Ask for their opinion.
  2. Assure yourself: Once you decide to let yourself free of the invulnerability mask, you’ve matured and grown. A person who can reveal their weakness in a relationship is truly strong. Practise positive affirmation. Tell yourself “Letting go of myself is safe.” or any positive affirmation appropriate for you.
  3. Talk to the person: If there is something in specific that your invulnerability complex has prevented from revealing to the other person, tell them. If not, think of your deepest love, hopes, feelings, fears, frustrations or other things you have been hiding. Once everyday, speak briefly about your feelings. In case you find difficulty doing this, speak to someone else, or write them down. It’s important to express these feelings and get over your hesitation expressing them.
  4. Reinforce your open behaviour: You will find that the other person to whom you’ve opened up is supportive, and this reinforces your own trust and you can open up more. But if that does not happen, you still must reinforce your own good behaviour. If you open up about your feelings to an unreceptive person, congratulate yourself. You’ve faced your fear, overcome it and become stronger. Being unreceptive shows the other person’s weakness but not yours. Reward yourself in some way and continue being yourself and speaking your mind as much as you can.

Tips

  • Apart from revealing your own vulnerability, ask your loved ones to talk to you anytime about problems or fears. It will help for you to know that you’re not alone in your fears.

Warnings

  • Don’t over-analyze. Just give yourself a few days to begin the change. If you are not able to get around to doing it, don’t shy away from seeking professional help.
  • Don’t wait for a “right time to talk” to the other person for too long. It’s all right if you talk as soon as you make the decision.

Related Articles

Retrieved from "https://kipkis.com/index.php?title=Be_More_Vulnerable_in_Relationships&oldid=272624"