Be Respectful in a Jewish Environment
Have you been invited to a Jewish religious event and you're not Jewish? Here's how you can show respect to the people around you.
Contents
Steps
- Familiarize yourself with the 5 main branches of Judaism. They are, from most stringent to least observant: Chasidic (Hasidic), Orthodox, Conservative, Reform, and Reconstructionist. Keep in mind that each of these main branches have several sub-branches with varying degrees of differences. Ask your Jewish friends which branch(es) they practice and how to behave.
- Understand that followers of Chasidic and Orthodox Judaism, generally wear modest attire that is not overly revealing. This is especially pertinent to women who (at least publicly) will not wear clothing showing cleavage. On Shabbat and Jewish holidays, they wear their best formal clothes. Married women wear wigs or headscarves, while men wear yarmulkes or kippot (skullcaps) on their heads at all times. Only the men wear tallit (prayer shawls) during services.
- Be aware that Chasidic and Orthodox Jewish men and women sit separately in their synagogues. They also have only male rabbis and cantors, and they often (though not always) have prayer books (siddurim) in Hebrew only. Hebrew is read from right to left, the opposite direction to English, and the pages in the prayer books open at what would be the back of an English language book. Some of the men wear their prayer shawls over their heads and move in different directions while praying.
- Be aware that in other synagogues, everyone sits together, and the prayer books have both Hebrew and English, so you can read the English while listening to the Hebrew. Sometimes, there are female clergy, and some of the women wear skullcaps and prayer shawls just like the men - and the men don't always wear skullcaps on their heads!
- Know that Jews stand during certain parts of the service, such as when the Ark of the Covenant is open and for specific prayers. This is done as a sign of respect to God, so stand up when everyone else does.
- Dress appropriately. If you're a man, wear a dress suit with a tie and dress shoes. If you're a woman, wear your best hairstyle, dressy dress, simple shoes, simple makeup, and simple jewelry.
- Don't make noise during the services. If you have to go to the bathroom, step out and come back quietly. Also, make sure you turn off your cellphone before entering the synagogue.
Tips
- Turn all electronics off before entering the synagogue (especially on Shabbat and High Holidays). If you absolutely need to call or text, find a secluded area outside the synagogue to do so.
- During Shabbat, Chasidic and Orthodox Jews have 39 prohibited tasks, including no work, travel, and discussing business. If you're staying with someone in these branches, you can take naps to avoid breaking any Shabbat laws.
- If you aren't sure about something, ask! People appreciate when you make an effort to understand what's going on. And rabbis love talking to people about these sorts of things-it's their job!
- Orthodox synagogues do not allow electronics in their sanctuaries because it's disrespectful, and it's also disrespectful to turn your back on the Torah.
- After a funeral, consider making a donation to a charity specified by the family.
Warnings
- Chasidic and Orthodox Jews eat only kosher food, and if you want to bring food, look for the kosher symbols before buying them. Of course, there are many kosher symbols, and not everyone relies on every symbol. Ask questions about anything you don't understand.
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