Be Taken Seriously by Men

Are you having trouble getting males to respect you and admire you for who you are and what you do? Due to stereotypes and sometimes sexism, women can be devalued in society. It is time to take that power back and show that you need to be taken seriously, not treated as incapable or fragile. There are a few simple steps that will empower you to be treated appropriately by male friends, co-workers, and casual acquaintances; this can make your job, hobbies, and daily interactions easier and less stressful. In order to be taken seriously by males, you may need to work on loving yourself, exuding confidence, and following your goals and ambitions.

Steps

Loving Yourself

1. Value and respect yourself. If you know your own value, others may learn to recognize it as well.
   • If you ever feel devalued or unimportant, remind yourself that you are a worthy, valuable, and unique person.
   • You are not just an object, you are a person. You are more than a body or something pretty to look at. You have a beautiful mind you can share with others.
   • Respect yourself by making responsible choices that benefit you or others and do not cause harm.
   • Give yourself respect by treating yourself and your body well. Ways to treat yourself well include: eating healthy, getting enough sleep, exercising, relaxing, and engaging in safe recreational or creative activities.
2. Pay attention to your values. Identify what you believe in and hold dear and stick to these values. These values might include things like: freedom, empowerment, equality, respect, justice, family, love, and stability. Focusing on your values can help you make better decisions and ultimately get people to take you seriously.
   • If you aren't sure of your values, make a list of everything that you care about. These things are part of your value-system. Add to your list as you come up with new ideas.
   • If you are disrespected by others, pay attention to your personal values. Remind yourself of what you think is important and act in line with these values. For example, if someone treats you poorly and you have an impulse to yell at them, you can remind yourself of your core value of respect; if you yell at someone you may not be showing them respect.
   • Avoid any activities that go against your personal value system (such as stealing, disrespecting others, or treating yourself poorly).
3. Accept yourself. It is a sad reality that some women may be unhappy with themselves despite the many positive characteristics they have. However, if you truly love and accept who you are and what you do, you may be able to get others to accept you as well. The work always starts with you.
   • Focus on your strengths on a daily basis. You can list them in a journal or Word document. List things such as: ambitious, loving, caring, friendly, and athletic. Do you see how some of these strengths might coincide with your values? They are many times linked.
   • Acknowledge some of your flaws, and learn to accept them as they are. They may make you the unique person that you are, and perhaps people even love you for your flaws. You can love them too. Perhaps see them as unique qualities instead of flaws; they may make you different and interesting.
   • Avoid comparing yourself to others. This can cause you to feel inadequate or flawed.
   • Use mindfulness to promote self acceptance. Begin by sitting in a comfortable position. Focus on the criticisms you have of yourself, such as, "I feel ugly and fat." Take a moment to experience these thoughts without judgment. Then practice nonjudgmental acceptance by saying or thinking, "I'm not perfect. I can accept myself without judgment." Notice any additional thoughts you have; simply observe them without making a judgment about them (whether they are good or bad). Thoughts may come and go and they are always changing.
4. Take care of yourself. Appearances do matter, and being taken seriously requires you put effort into how you look.
   • Grooming, hygiene, physical fitness, and regular health check-ups are a must.
   • Makeup is a controversial subject in terms of whether or not women should or should not wear it to be successful. This is honestly about preference. Some sources state that men prefer women with natural beauty or little-to-no makeup. However, some woman feel more confident with makeup.
5. Don’t let others treat you badly. Studies suggest that doctors may treat males and females differently in regards to their physical pain; women may be discounted and not be taken seriously more often than men.
   • Hold men, and people in general, accountable if you notice any prejudice or biases toward you.
   • Choose your friends wisely and keep all personal struggles and defeats to yourself and a close group of friends and family you can trust.
   • Getting support from others (other women, family, friends) may help you cope with personal difficulties or dealing with prejudice.

Showing Confidence

1. Communicate appropriately and confidently. While all the above steps can fit into anyone's life, one of the key factors in success with being taken seriously by men, is being intelligent and well spoken. How you speak goes with how you carry yourself (self-respect and confidence). Appropriate grammar and tone, as well as how frequently you speak can make or break success in the workplace, among new acquaintances and in recreational activities. Although all women have different sounding voices (high, low, soft, etc.), it is important to remember that you may be judged by your pitch, how much emphasis you put on words, and your laugh.
   • Record yourself to alter how you present yourself to other people. For example, if you let your voice trail off at the end of a sentence, this implies that you are not confident and you could be setting yourself back in terms of getting an important message across.
   • Speak in terms of specific outcomes and results.
   • Be assertive. Say what you think and feel in a respectful way. Be firm but polite. Ask for what you want. Say no when you need to. Be warm, welcoming, and friendly to others. Respect the opinions of others and be willing to compromise. Examples of assertive speech include, “That’s a good idea, and how about if we did this too…” or “I can see that, but I’d really like ____."
2. Educate yourself. A woman who is well informed on various topics will have a better chance of being taken seriously by men (and other women).
   • There are many ways to be "intelligent" but for the most part-pursuing higher education is usually a good place to start.
   • Watching educational programs, reading books, and keeping up on the latest news are easy and usually low-cost ways to increase your knowledge.
   • Watching movies, playing video games, and being familiar with sports teams will also make you more diverse in conversations.
3. Use your body language. It is important to pay attention to your body language in addition to your speaking. If you walk around with your head hung low, people may expect that you are negative and unmotivated. On the other hand, how you carry yourself can show gravitas and power.
   • Stand up straight and tall. Do not slouch. You can practice correcting your posture by lying flat on the ground or standing with your back against a wall.
   • Give a firm handshake, a weak or sloppy one can make the other person think you are not confident.
   • Show power by keeping your limbs open and taking up more space. Avoid fidgeting, which can make you appear nervous or uncomfortable.
4. Dress appropriately. How you dress shows a lot about your confidence and self-image. Men are constantly inundated with sexual images of women on television and other forms of media. Unfortunately, if you dress in a sexual, provocative, or revealing way, it is possible that you will send the wrong message. If you really want to be heard, make an effort to appear professional and put together.
   • Dress to match the occasion. If you are at work, you probably should avoid short shirts or tops where your cleavage is visible. Try wearing a knee-length skirt, pants, or a suit jacket.
   • As a general rule for women in the work place, to check if your clothing is appropriate for the setting or for an interview, do the bend-over check. If you see any bit of cleavage or your skirt comes up way too high in the back when you bend over to touch your toes, chances are it is not work appropriate. If you have any doubts at all, don't risk it. Your reputation is more important than looking cute or stylish during important business transactions.

Following Your Ambitions

1. Get motivated. A woman may influence others more if she demonstrates motivation for her life. Females with aspirations and commitments can be very appealing.
   • Be intentional and specific in your goals and aspirations.
   • You can create daily, weekly, monthly, and yearly goals. Write them down and remind yourself of them regularly. Amend any goals as you go along.
   • One way to get motivated is through creative means. Try drawing out your goals. What do you want for your life and yourself?
2. Take pride in your accomplishments. If you smile, laugh and speak with enthusiasm about what you have going on in your life---men may see that you are motivated and confident and take you seriously. Keep in mind this can depend on how long you keep up with a task. If you are constantly changing your goals and are indecisive with what you want from your life this may leave doubt in people's minds.
   • If you have children, discuss their latest successes in school with a smile and comment on how proud you are of them.
   • Discuss any new business ideas you might have, or creative thoughts if they appear interested. Working on a new art piece? Writing a poem? Finishing a degree? Taking a new yoga class? You already have so many interesting things to talk about.
3. Make sure your ambitions are your own. Apart from having self-respect, confidence, motivation and being competitive; you need to ask yourself for each aspect of your life, "Why am I doing this?" If your goals are contrived to impress a man, or men in general, you may be doing it for the wrong reasons. In the same light, trust your instincts; only you can make decisions about your life and where you are heading. Not anyone else.
4. Be an expert. Experts are taken more seriously than novices. Whatever you do decide to do or excel in, be an expert. Learn as much as you can about the topic, and gain a variety of experiences.
   • Do your research. Spend some of your free-time exploring and learning more about your field of study or occupation. This can make all of the difference in the business world; if you give your all and make the extra effort, people may notice you more.
   • Do your homework. Focus on your tasks and obligations and don't drop the ball. Being a true expert is about becoming someone that people can count on and trust.
   • Be prepared. If you have a big speech coming up or a presentation at work, don't wait until the last minute to prepare. Give yourself plenty of time so that you can appear confident and educated about the topic.
   • Help others. When you are an expert, you help other people understand or complete work. Help as many coworkers, colleagues, or classmates as you can. However, don't overdo it and remember to have balance. You need to be able to complete your own work before you can help others.
   • If you have the resources and financial ability, you can earn an extra certificate or degree in your field. Some businesses even pay their employees to get advanced degrees.
5. Engage in healthy competition. Men tend to enjoy healthy competition among themselves. Connecting with males on their level can be helpful in increasing a sense of unity, solidarity, or equality. Be sure when you participate in the activity that you bring your A-game and put forth your best effort. Even if you aren't a pro at any sport or hobby, by being open to new challenges and giving something your best effort; men may respect you for it.
   • If you enjoy a hobby that is physically demanding such as rock climbing, swimming, basketball, running or biking-share it with a male friend.
   • Finding your balance by trying methods that work and don't work will ensure you get more comfortable with yourself and therefore, with men. This can apply to work, school, hobbies, social gatherings, and the like.

Warnings

• Exercise caution when sharing your successes with others. Women who are confident and motivated can be considered a threat to other women.
• Flattery and flirting is a natural reaction between men and women. When two people share the same hopes and aspirations and can enjoy good conversation and competition, romantic attraction can ensue. Remember your goals, work, reputation, and self-respect. Carefully weigh the consequences of your actions before you act on them. You do not want to lose respect by making poor choices or being too free with your heart.
• Being successful and being taken seriously comes with a few prices. Accept that not every man will respond favorably to your personality or efforts to make a way for yourself in this world.

Related Articles

• Imitate a Person You Admire

Sources and Citations

See also

• Give Up Control
• Build Self‐Control
• Know That You Are Beautiful
• Stop Running Away from Yourself
• Do Anything
• Be the Best of Yourself
• Overcome Low Self Esteem
• Develop Self‐Esteem
• Be Assertive
• Be a Man

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