Be a Badass Girl

Being a badass is all about confidence and being real. You can learn to make positive changes in your life to become the person you want to be, and let that confidence affect the way people view you. Amplify the realest version of yourself. Be a badass.

Steps

Gaining Confidence

1. Develop a badass vision for yourself and your future. What does it mean to be a badass, in your world? What parts of yourself do you think need the badass treatment? Envision yourself as the badass you want to become. What's different about the way you move, act, or dress?
   • Visualize the badass you want to become. What changes? Are you more talkative, or less? Do you dress differently, or the same? Where do you live? What do you do? Who do you associate with?
   • Think of badass icons that you'd like to emulate. Are you more of a Joan Jett or a Madonna? Joni Mitchell or Janis Joplin? Angelina Jolie or Judi Dench? There are lots of badass women who make for good role models.
2. Anchor your actions. Once you've got a badass vision of yourself in place, the first and best way to make little changes is to anchor your actions in this vision. It may sound stupid, but try to move, behave, and even think like this badass vision of yourself. Start small and gradually work your way up to more significant changes.
   • Badasses exude confidence in everything they do. Anchor your vision in that confidence. Try walking down the hall like yourself. Now do it again as your badass self. Make the change you want to see.
   • If it helps, pick one of your icons, an Angelina or a Janis, and pretend to walk like she would walk all day. Dress like you think she would dress, given your wardrobe. Say what you think she would say, given that situation.
3. Develop Passion. What do you want out of your life? What goals do you have? Badasses aren't wet blankets. Badasses take control of their lives, and reach out to get what they want. If you don't know what you want, or how to get it, that becomes a lot more difficult.
   • If the concept of "passions" seems too complicated, just think about interests. What do you like to do? What do you see yourself doing in five years, ten years, thirty years?
4. Stop waiting for permission. Badass girls don't wait around to find out whether or not it's ok to do what they want to do. As a badass, you need to act from a place of intelligence and drive, going after what you want without worrying about whether or not someone else says you can.
   • People-pleasing behavior isn't badass. Act for yourself, without being selfish, just being confident.
   • Of course, if you're still in school, or underage, you'll be susceptible to some rules, and you'll need to follow them to avoid setting yourself back. Learning how to negotiate those rules while still being the assertive person you want to be, though, will be the challenge.
5. Get out of your head. Badasses are reflective and thoughtful, but not locked inside their own heads. It's important to remember that you need to live outwardly, and let your inner light shine through. Think about and plan for your badass persona, but make sure that you adopt it in the real world, instead of living in fantasy.
   • Don't be afraid to speak your mind. If you have something to say, a badass will always say it.
   • Create a running narrative for your life, one that includes you as the badass character at the center of it. Look at yourself as both the main character and the narrator of your own personal bio-pic.
6. Relax. Badasses are at ease in the world that they inhabit. Be unshakable, unflappable, and cool above all. If you can do one thing to make yourself more badass, it's to be cool in the face of pressure, and seem like you're floating above the lesser concerns of your peers. You're not interested in trends, fads, or following the group. You move to the beat of your own drummer, and that drummer is chill.
   • Badasses aren't cold, emotionless robots, either. Get passionate when the occasion calls for it. Try reflecting back what you're getting from the world. If everyone in the group is over-excited, stay calm. If everyone's too cool for school, get lively. Oppose the norm.

Becoming a Badass

1. Speak first in conversations, but speak less. Speaking first accomplishes several things. This allows you to form and control the conversation, moving it into the territory you want to move it into. You set the rules, you make the first play. Speaking less helps you to seem above it all. Don't trouble yourself to argue.
   • After you control the conversation and establish the rules, sit back and be cool. Let the other people talk. Listen closely, and be genuinely interested in what everyone is saying, but not super-affected by it.
   • If you must interject, do it calmly but forcefully. Grab the floor by saying something like, "I have something to say," and then pause for five or ten seconds. People will be rapt.
2. Be self-reliant. There's nothing badass about needing to ask everyone for help. This will obviously depend a lot on where you are and what you do, but it's important to try to be as capable and single-minded as possible. You're not a helpless damsel in distress, you're a badass, who takes care of herself.
   • If you do need help, keep quiet about it. Don't make a big scene of being incapable of doing something yourself. Take pride in accomplishing things with your own work put into it.
3. Help out other girls. Don't keep your badass-ness to yourself. Someone who knows how to be selfless, giving back to others who might need a little help, will stand out as being mature, interesting, and admirable. Don't perpetuate girl-on-girl hate. Be good to your girlfriends and make lots of them.
   • If you're in school, protect the younger kids, and make an effort to hang out with kids who might not have a lot of friends. New kid in class? Hang out with them. Student who doesn't speak the language real well? Try to talk to them. That's badass.
4. Take calculated risks. Being willing to do something that might result in failure? That's badass. Badasses don't dwell in the world of the safe and secure, they're willing to take risks that have great rewards to stand out from the rest. Stand up to your teacher when they present a topic worthy of arguing about. Tell the class bully to shut up when a younger kid is being picked on. Apply for that scholarship you might not get. Try out for the team. Be willing to fail.
   • "Calculated risks" don't mean "dangerous behavior." A calculated risk might be asking out the barista when you're out at coffee, and be willing to get shot down, not downing a bunch of vodka and driving your dad's car. There's a difference between being badass and being stupid.
5. Be real. Being a badass isn't a persona. A badass isn't a "bitch." It isn't a gimmick, a guise, or a fad, and it's not the female equivalent of being "alpha." We recognize badasses for being the truest, least fake version of themselves. If you want other people to say, "She's a badass," it should be because you do things you want to do, for their own sake, not for the sake of your reputation.

Looking Badass

1. Choose the way you look. Badasses don't follow fads, or hop trends. Badasses look they way they look because they've chosen to look that way. A badass girl could dress like she walked right off the ranch, rocking a cropped hair-cut and cowboy boots, or could look like a fashionista, big sunglasses and tops straight from Vogue. The way you look should amplify who you are, not change it.
   • Match your style to your real life. If you're a working-class girl who has rough hands and chipped nails, embrace it. Own it.
   • Dress like your vision for yourself. If you want to make a positive change in your life, your clothes can help affect the way you feel. Go through your wardrobe and pick what Angelina would wear, if she had the choice, or whoever your badass icon is.
2. Wear clothes that make you feel powerful. Your clothes give you an opportunity to affect the way you feel, and can amplify who you are. If how you look doesn't match who you want to be, you can make a change outwardly that will affect yourself inwardly. Be ambitious with your dress, if you want to be, and dress up, or dress down for powerful comfort.
   • Go through your clothes and try on everything. What makes you feel, really feel, like who you want to be? What makes you feel confident? Sexy? Powerful? Badass? Wear that.
3. Do a clothes purge. Get rid of anything that doesn't make you feel like a badass. It's easy to collect clothes over the years, and all that raggedy home wear can be easily purged, if it doesn't help you feel confident and badass. If you only have clothes that make you feel confident and powerful, then you'll feel badass all the time, and that will affect your behavior.
4. Stop trend-hopping. Trends all depend on making yourself fashionable in the eyes of other people, not yourself. You can spend all your time scanning fashion mags for the next cool monthly trend, or you could be out doing badass things. Trying to stay ahead of the curve isn't badass, it's "fashionable."
   • If you're honestly interested in fashion and following trends, then by all means, do it. But don't feel like you have to, to fit in. That's not badass, that's being influenced by others.
5. Make eye-contact. One of the best ways to look badass while you're with people is to make more eye contact. This helps you to appear confident and powerful in your interactions, and people will take notice when you have a powerful gaze.
   • You don't have to be agreeable all the time, nodding along and deferring to the other person. Look skeptical, like you're really thinking of what a person is saying, and like you might disagree. That's a badass way to get the truth from people. Don't let yourself be intimidated, be the one who intimidates.

Tips

• Don't change totally who you are.
• Never be rude.
• Act like no one is standing in your way and seem invincible.
• If you play a mental empowering song in your head over and over again as you walk, and pretend you are in a movie as the badass girl, your confidence will flourish!

Related Articles

• Become a Badass
• Be a Bad Girl
• Mature From a Girl to a Woman
• Be Cool

Sources and Citations

See also

• Give Up Control
• Build Self‐Control
• Know That You Are Beautiful
• Stop Running Away from Yourself
• Do Anything
• Be the Best of Yourself
• Overcome Low Self Esteem
• Develop Self‐Esteem
• Be Assertive
• Be a Man

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