Be a Good Teenage Daughter

Being a teenage girl can be tough. You’re dealing with complex physical and psychological changes, as well as the stresses of school, sports, and relationships. It may seem crazy to add another job to your list, but being a good daughter is important for many reasons. By focusing on your relationship with your parents, you will gain valuable skills in respect, responsibility, and empathy. Additionally, you will set yourself up for a great relationship with them as you face more challenges in the years ahead.

Steps

Respecting Others and Yourself

  1. Be respectful to your parents and their rules. As a teenager, it can sometimes seem as if your parents’ rules are strict and unnecessary. To be a good daughter, however, it is essential to respect your parents. Follow even the rules you don’t agree with, and don’t complain about them. Rather, talk with your parents if you want them to consider changing those rules. Ask calmly for more privileges and don’t yell at your parents. Yelling will sound disrespectful, and you will appear immature.[1]
    • Ask your parents if you can periodically revisit rules on curfew, nights out, or driving privileges.
    • Say things like, “I understand you worry about me when I’m out, but I’d really like your permission to stay out until midnight sometimes,” or “I’ve really been working hard on my grades lately, is it okay if I go out an extra night this weekend to see my friends?”
    • Avoid the argument that your friends get to do certain things that you don’t get to do. Instead, focus on how responsible you have demonstrated you can be and identify potential ways you can earn privileges.
  2. Fulfill your household chores and duties. A family is a system that relies on each member performing their responsibilities to help things run smoothly. If you are in charge of cleaning the bathrooms or starting dinner on weeknights, be sure to keep on top of these. Your parents will appreciate the help, and your responsibility will be apparent to them.
    • Offer to help out even more when your parents are busy.
    • Perform your chores happily, without complaint. If you anticipate a reason why you cannot do this, try your best to talk to your parents about it ahead of time so alternative arrangements can be made.
  3. Understand and act on your own values. This will help you avoid peer pressure and the problem behavior that may come with it. If you feel pressured, talk with your parent or another trusted adult.[2]
    • Choose friends with similar values and perspectives to your own. Take time to formulate a list of what makes a friend a good influence, and see if your friends meet enough of these criteria. If you prioritize your involvement in school clubs and sports, hang out with friends from these groups.
    • Practice speaking up for yourself on relatively minor matters, like choices in restaurants or clothing stores. If you can confidently disagree with friends regarding your opinions on these somewhat unimportant topics, you will set yourself up for speaking your mind on larger topics.
    • When avoiding peer pressure, don’t make excuses. Rather, say things like, “I don’t want to lose control of how I act, that’s why I don’t want to drink,” or “I want to take care of myself and be healthy, so I choose not to smoke.”

Strengthening Your Relationship with Your Family

  1. Spend time with your parents. In a few short years, you’ll be off to college or have a career. Take advantage of the time you have now to have fun with your parents and build some good memories together. If you hate the things your parents like to do, be proactive and suggest plans yourself so that they are more in line with your interests. Additionally, you can benefit from this extra time you spend together. Teens who spend more time with their parents have higher self-esteem.[3]
    • See if there are movies or shows that you can enjoy together.
    • If you and your parents are “foodies,” try to dine out together a few times a month and try new restaurants.
  2. Introduce your friends to your parents. You are probably spending more time with your friends than your parents at this point in your life, and it shows great respect to your parents by letting them know your friends. They will feel secure knowing the character of the people you choose to have around you, and it may make it easier to ask for extra privileges if your parents are fond of your friends.
    • Talk to your parents about your friendships and conflicts or difficulties you may be having. This will help them trust you more, and you can also gain valuable wisdom.
    • Ask if your friends can come over after school or for dinner.
    • If your parents attend a school function, make an effort to bring them over to meet a few of your friends.
  3. Keep the lines of communication open with your parents. It may seem like your parents don’t listen to you or your feelings, but you can help fix this by making an effort to really communicate with them. If you can, schedule a regular “chat time” to talk with them about your day or what is going on in your life. Also ask about them! Take an interest in their lives as well. Regular communication is one of the best ways for you to develop a good relationship with your parents.[4]
    • Start simply, by saying something like, “Today was great. I presented my project to the biology class, and I finished all of my homework in study hall.” Sharing parts of your day like this will help you easily start a conversation and can lead to further discussion.
    • You could also talk with your parents about challenges you are facing: “My friend started to take her brother’s ADHD medicine, and I don’t know what to do to help her.” Your parents will be happy you confided in them, and they will be able to offer valuable advice on how to face these types of issues.
  4. Be a good sibling. Don’t forget about the relationships you share with your brothers and sisters when thinking about being a good teenage daughter. If you are one of the older children in your family, you can model good behavior to the younger ones. They will invariably look up to you, so if you treat your parents well, they will be more likely to also. Your parents will be grateful for you offering a good example to your younger siblings.
    • See if you can handle disputes between you and your siblings amongst yourselves, if appropriate. Then you can talk to your parents about how this went.
    • You can also be a good sibling by spending time with them, helping them with their homework, and attending their sports or dance activities.
    • Offer to watch your siblings so your parents can have some time together.
    • If you are the youngest in your family, try to keep in contact with siblings who may be away at college or living in another city for a job. You can learn from their experiences and figure out good ways to interact with your parents.

Developing Your Skills and Intellect

  1. Get a part-time job. You may feel busy with school and extra-curricular activities, but a part-time job can offer more than just a few extra dollars in your pocket. You will be able to develop your teamwork and time management skills, and you will learn about how to be a good employee.[5]
    • Offer to use some of your new earnings to help pay for back-to-school clothes or part of your car insurance.
    • You can look around your neighborhood for opportunities at restaurants or bakeries. Hair salons or doctor’s offices may need part-time office help on the weekend or during summers.
  2. Exercise regularly. Consistent exercise, whether alone or through a team sport, leads to higher self image and greater self-esteem for teenagers. Exercise can be a great stress reliever and can also lead to increased confidence.[6] Your parents will be happy to see you take an initiative to maintain a healthy lifestyle.
    • Use exercise as an opportunity to bond with your parents. Suggest taking regular walks or bike rides together.
  3. Concentrate on school. The goal of every parent is to raise a child into a successful adult who can take care of herself. By doing well in school and learning all that you can, you will prepare yourself for a strong future in college or in a career.
    • Challenge yourself by signing up for advanced classes.
    • Complete all work on time and ask your parents to quiz you for exams.
    • Ask for help if you need it—sooner rather than later!

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Sources and Citations

  1. ↑ http://www.safeteens.org/relationships/getting-along-with-your-parents/
  2. ↑ http://www.safeteens.org/relationships/peer-pressure/
  3. ↑ http://health.usnews.com/health-news/news/articles/2012/08/21/teens-benefit-by-spending-more-time-with-parents
  4. ↑ https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/teen-angst/201012/survival-tips-raising-teen
  5. ↑ https://www.myworldofwork.co.uk/getting-job/why-part-time-job-could-be-good-your-teenager
  6. ↑ http://www.npr.org/sections/health-shots/2013/01/07/168616995/why-exercise-may-do-a-teenage-mind-good
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