Be a Guidette
Guidettes - the epitome of Jersey class. So you wanna be one? Be aware though, it's not an easy thing to do. You'll have to cultivate a certain attitude, take great care in your appearance, and dress with sex appeal. Once you get it right, no one will guess that you're not a natural!
Steps
- Be confident. You can't be a real Guidette without confidence.
- Look glamorous. Take some genuine effort for that. Glamorous could be anything though. Wear as much makeup as you can, make sure to always use a light lip color. Also, straighten the hell out of your hair. Dying it wouldn't be a bad idea either. Be sure to buy plenty of hair gel and/or hair spray. Learn to crimp your hair, but also wear it super straight sometimes. Wearing big hoop ear rings is also a plus.
- Sex Appeal. You want to look as fierce as possible. Make sure your boobs pop out of your tight shirt, and don't hesitate to stuff your bra or wear more than one bra at once.Wear tons of animal print to show off your wild side.
- Da Club. Going clubbing and dancing is an unmistakable part of Guido culture. Be sure to get out of the house and on to the streets of New York/New Jersey and hit up those clubs. Your fellow Guidos await you! And always look good when you go out, alright? Alright!
- Shopping. Shop at Ed Hardy, Juicy Couture, Armani Exchange, Bebe, Puma, etc. Buy bags from Dolce & Gabbana, Gucci, Prada, etc. Wear Designer Shades with Designer Hats, a big must!
- Vernacular. "Hon", "GTL", "Bro", "Babe", "Kid", "Grenade," and the unforgettable "FIST PUMP"
- Exercise. Go to the gym, work out a few times a week, and be sure that your stomach stays FLAT, but still enjoy some good Italian cooking.
- Skin. Look as unnaturally tan as possible; even when it's cold out! Tan at least 3 times every week, more or less. Buy a home bronzer if you can't go that much.
- Hair. Okay, this is REALLY important. YOUR. HAIR. NEEDS. TO. BE. B I G. And when I say big, I mean big. The guidette hair should be dyed either bleach blonde or black. You could highlight it, but don't let the blonde or black highlights blend into your regular hair color. Either crimp or pin straight is acceptable.
- Nails. Preferably fake. Get a french manicure, can't go wrong there.
- Surround yourself with guidettes and guidos, and date a guido if at all possible!
Tips
- The dangers of skin cancer are real, so when on the beach or in a tanning booth, apply sunscreen.
- When engaging in fights, whether they be catfights or juicefights, scratching the other person's eyes out is not acceptable.
- Befriend Guidos and other Guidettes.
- Drive something awesome. MB or BMW or Audi gets the job done, but if it's not for you, just make your car look awesome. Make it look noticeable while you're out at night.
- It helps if you live in NY or NJ but you can make it happen anywhere!
Things You'll Need
- Designer shades and clothes (or knockoffs if you can't afford those.)
- Cash for the gym and tanning
- Hair gel and hair spray
- Lots of Lip Gloss
- A nearby Tanning Booth
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