Be a Sophisticated and Cultured Male
The transition from being a young adult to being a young professional can be daunting. It may be time to grow up and shed your teen or Frat Boy ways. Here are tips on developing the cultured and sophisticated image you'll need to network, move ahead professionally and make a positive social impression.
Steps
- Educate yourself in the arts:
- Develop an interest in music other than the current Top 40: classical pieces, opera, and early jazz. Bach, Mozart, Tchaikovsky, Wagner, and of course Beethoven are great composers to start with. In the way of popular music, the Universal Music Group publishes a series of CD compilations called 20th Century Masters, which accolades "the best of" great modern artists, such as Louis Armstrong and Chet Baker.
- Read regularly, especially the news and literary classics. Know what is happening in the news (subscribe to and skim through TIME magazine or The Economist) and read contemporary novels geared towards society and your generation. Read poetry and also visit book stores and pick up novels by the great authors. (Tolstoy, Dickens, Hemingway, etc. are all respected but look for things that interest you.)
- Get a basic understanding of the visual arts, including painting, sculpture, and architecture. Learn about aesthetics, art theory, criticism, and other related topics. Travel to see famous paintings and buildings in person if you can spare the expense.
- Attend presentations of the performing arts, such as theater plays, ballets and operas.
- Learn about the art of film. Purchase a movie guide. Rent (and possibly buy) films of all genres. The cable channel Turner Classic Movies generally airs unedited, commercial-free classics, and The Criterion Collection distributes digitally restored DVDs of authoritative motion pictures.
- Pick up side interests in other arts that pique your curiosity, such as, for example, culinary art (cooking and cuisine), decorative arts (furniture arrangement), and calligraphy (handwriting).
- Get rid of the dusty books from middle school on your shelf.
- Always serve drinks which are chilled appropriately.
- Find good grooming products (excluding hair products beyond shampoo and conditioner).
- Always tip, no matter what the service.
- Hold doors open for people, and thank people who hold doors open for you.
- Always wear a watch and on your left wrist; not a Timex, (if you can afford it) something Swiss.
- Mature your wardrobe; stores which are targeted towards a younger audience (Hollister, American Eagle) become less appropriate as you grow older.
- Look into staples of culture such as a good-fitting white button-down or an Armani sport coat. If you can't afford a designer sport coat, check out higher-end mall stores which sell tailored, classic looks. Banana Republic, Brooks Brothers and Calvin Klein are good starts. Go with a neutral color.
- When shaking hands, grip firmly and make eye contact. Do not break the other person's hand.
- Become a wine connoisseur, take wine classes, and go to wine tastings. It takes time but being able to pair wines is a well respected talent.
- Becoming a food connoisseur is almost as equally import as appreciating good wine. Try something new when you go to a restaurant. Never order anything cooked over medium!
- Understand quality cigars for lively occasion and smoke when appropriate. If you smoke, do not smoke cigarettes unless others openly are smokers. Consider a cigarette case, but eschew the out-of-place cigarette holder.
- Be a gentleman. Bodily functions such as flatulence should be conducted as privately as possible; if it is obvious, excuse yourself.
- Don't put your elbows on the dinner table.
- Invest in good soaps and other items to help with a clean smell. A good cologne goes a long way, but do not apply too much.
- Visit traveling museum exhibits as they come near you or take a day trip to your nearest larger city to see the art museums or other must see collections.
- Never pick your nose in public. Excuse yourself to the restroom if you must. Carry a handkerchief if possible. Buy them in packs and carry a clean one every day. Like underwear, these mustn't be reused without washing.
- Keep eye contact when you converse with the opposite sex. Make sure not to stare.
- Remain focused on the conversation and avoid speaking about yourself.
- Be more attentive to the woman in your life. A subtle stroke on the arm or holding her by the small of the back makes the woman feel connected, but be appropriate and use discretion with physical contact.
- Practice introducing yourself to others in the mirror. Sometimes, a simple vocal exercise in the morning facilitates easier conversation during the day.
- Practice your smile. You know which smile of yours looks good and which one is goofy.
- Be ready to network. If you have business cards, carry them with you.
- Keep your place clean. Living as if you are still in college is not manly. (If you are still in college, it's that much more impressive to keep a well-groomed dwelling.)
- Update any social networking pages.
- Remove drunken photos and photos that aren't flattering. Also remove photos of friends behaving badly. You can now be guilty by association.
- Monitor the post your friends send to you and delete anything that could appear too risqué or inappropriate.
- Delete friends that are too provocative, such as the the obviously fake profiles of lingerie-clad women who send friend requests out to thousands of men.
- Remove yourself from groups that are no longer appropriate for your new image. Replace them with more social or economic associates.
- Adjust your background images and pick something non-offensive and more mature. The same goes for any headlines or positioning statements about yourself.
- Remove excessive personal information and never include an annual salary. Misleading information seems immature and it really isn't anyone's business anyway.
- Stop hanging out in college bars, seedy sports joints and dive clubs. The real movers and shakers will pay higher covers and higher drink prices to be seen with a better class of people.
- Instead, get your friends to ditch the casual t-shirts and get dressed up to meet you at higher end locations. Remember, it isn't about getting wasted with your friends anymore, it's about being seen, networking and getting to know other people.
- Be more selective with your beverage choices. Your days of getting the most cheap beer for the buck is gone!
- Instead of going for low quality domestic beers you should look to nice imported beers or a classic cocktail like vodka tonics, martinis, or a well drink.
- Try some different cocktails and find one you like and can sip. Not all bars have a great wine selection so you should have a backup cocktail preference.
- As your income increases you can improve your preference to higher quality beverages and top shelf cocktails.
- Avoid getting into drinking contest. Shots are for getting very intoxicated quickly. The more sophisticated male will be content with enjoying the beverages and spending time with old friends and making new ones. Hopefully you will even remember these friends and be able to plan future meet ups.
- If you're in a place known for an excellent imported beer selection you should try the beer. Ask the bartender or server for their recommendation. If the restaurant is known for wine or their vast collection of quality liquors you should discuss it with someone who knows. Don't be afraid to discuss the menu. Make notes in your phone when you find something you really like.
- Being sophisticated and cultured doesn't mean showing off from outside. You should be a gentleman from within too. Keep your thoughts clean like you clean yourself.
Tips
- When you act the part, you must believe in yourself. Most people can sense a lie. Have confidence in yourself and others will have confidence in you.
- Think of all your good qualities, making a list in your head. Use those to your advantage; subtly show them off in social interactions.
Warnings
- Don't pretend to know information when you really don't. You'll appear like a fake. Instead, ask engaging questions and expand your knowledge.
- Changing your look and image will take an investment of money. Watch your spending and shop wisely to avoid getting into debt.
- You may be maturing faster than some of your friends. It is common for friends to lose touch around this time. In many cases you'll reconnect when your ideals begin to match again.
Things You'll Need
- Thoughtful use of money.
- Free Time (to determine your qualities)
- An education (be it formal or social)
- Confidence
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