Become the Centre of Attention

It is often fun to be the center of attention in a social group. People pay attention to you if you have their attention, and it’s easier to have people laugh at your jokes or appreciate your stories if you’re at the center of things; however, it can be challenging to become the center of attention in social settings, especially without seeming insincere or coming across as desperate or entitled. Many individuals also struggle with becoming the center of attention at their workplace; it can be a challenge to attract and keep your boss’ and coworkers’ attention. You can become the center of attention through a blend of drawing attention to yourself and maintaining healthy social relationships.

Steps

Drawing Attention to Yourself in Social Situations

1. Stand in a central position. If you are at a party or another type of social setting, you’ll receive more attention if you stand in a prominent place.
   • If you’re in a social setting with friends or people you know, ask them to join you in the center of the room. This will help you appear friendly and connected; new individuals will be drawn to you and your friend group.
2. Move locations every 15 – 20 minutes. Many people tend to pick a single location at a social event and simply stay put; however, you will attract more attention and meet a larger variety of people if you do not spend too long in any one location.
   • Vary the types of locations that you spend your time in. Talk with someone next to the food table, go outside and have a conversation, etc. This will allow you to meet new people, and you will not wear out your welcome with any one social group.
3. Initiate conversations and keep things light. A great way to place yourself in the center of attention is to reach out to other individuals around you; bring them into a conversation or game. Reach out to new people and use light conversation and humor to keep the situation friendly and fun.
   • Bring new people into your group. Don’t just spend time by yourself or with your friends. As long as you are the one starting conversations, you will remain the center of attention.
   • Use humor appropriately and sparingly. While humor can be an excellent way to bring together a group of strangers, and to make yourself the center of attention, too much humor will start to feel abrasive.
4. Become a good storyteller. People love a good story, but even the most fascinating subject can be boring if the teller doesn't know how to keep an audience's attention. Try listening to podcasts like The Moth, which is all about sharing stories, watch stand up specials from comedians like Ellen DeGeneres or Louis C.K., and even check out presentations from legendary businesspeople like Steve Jobs, Sheryl Sandberg, and Richard Branson. Pay attention to pacing, where they pause for emphasis, how they build up to the climax. Watch gestures and body language.
   • Practice your skills by choosing a short children's story or getting a copy of a favorite speech or monologue from a well-known storyteller. Stand in front of a mirror and practice telling the story over and over again. If it helps, you can start out by replicating the storyteller's performance, pausing where she paused, raising your voice where she did, etc. By telling the story repeatedly, your own voice will begin to emerge.
   • Think about your own life and what stories you have to tell. If you don't think you have any good stories, think about if there are any favorite family stories you might share. It is particularly important you pay attention to length with these stories — often first time storytellers leave in too many boring details and their stories become far too long to hold anyone's attention. Practice this story in front of a mirror, in front of trusted friends and family, and even video tape yourself so you can watch your performance and see where you need to tighten up the story, or if you are mumbling or looking at the floor instead of at your audience.
   • Keep personal stories simple and truthful. Make sure there is a clear beginning and end, and remember your audience. If your story involves your college roommate's crazy sex life, you may not want to share it with your great-grandma.
   • Incorporate voices, facial expressions, gestures and actions.
5. Pay attention to the tone of your voice. The sound of your voice can be a factor in whether or not you command attention. Learning to speak from your diaphragm may help you keep people's attention when you speak and may even cause them to like and trust you more.
   • To speak from the diaphragm, first learn diaphragmatic breathing. Inhale, allowing your belly to fill with air and rise, then exhale and allow it to fall. Your throat will relax and you will be able to better project your voice and have a deeper, more resonant sound.
   • Take an acting or singing class to develop your breathing and speaking skills, or work with a voice coach.
6. Learn to read the room. Going into a business function with the same stories and presence as you would bring to a sports bar might make you the center of attention — but not in a good way. Learning to read a room and adapt to the environment is an important skill to learn so you can be the center of attention in a positive way. Try to get a sense for the overall vibe of the room — do people seem tense, relaxed, worried, aggressive, bored? — and adapt your style for the situation.
   • For instance, if you're at a dinner party and everyone falls into a tense, awkward silence, you might break the tension by telling a funny story or even calling attention to the situation: "Well, this is awkward!"
   • If the group seems reserved and the gathering is somewhat formal, save your wild stories for another time, even if you know they kill. Listen to what other people are talking about and try to chime in with something relevant.
   • If you notice people are bored — looking at their phones while you are talking, glancing away, etc. try engaging them by asking questions and listening closely. People are drawn to good listeners, and once you learn what does excite them, you can focus on that. For instance, you may realize that your hunting stories aren't going over well because you're speaking to a group of vegans. Use this new knowledge to take the conversation in a direction that is more relevant to the interests of the crowd.
7. Enjoy yourself! People who are overly concerned with their social image often come across as clingy or personally insecure. One of the most important steps to being the center of attention is simply to enjoy yourself and act naturally in any interpersonal settings.
   • Try new things to see which you enjoy—other people will notice this and consequently pay attention to you. These activities could include:
   • Ask someone to dance
   • Help the host prepare food
   • Initiate a lawn game or party game.

Including Others in the Spotlight

1. Step back from the center of attention from time to time. It can be emotionally and physically draining to be the center of attention all the time, so be willing to step back and let others shine. People will see this as a generous act, and one that includes others in the conversation.
   • When you have an opportunity, try asking others questions that will help them open up and lead to further conversations. Try asking:
   • “Who do you know at this party?”
   • “Tell me a little about what you do for work?”
2. Listen to the opinions of the people around you. Sometimes, to leave a lasting, good impression on a group of people, it’s important to keep quiet and listen. This shows that you have a sincere interest in the people you are with — fellow party attendees, etc. — and will show that you care about others.
   • It’s important to ask questions, too. You will seem more socially engaged and thoughtful if, rather than drawing all of the attention to yourself, you try to bring others into the spotlight as well.
3. Develop friendships rather than seeking out crowds. While being the center of attention in a large, crowded setting can be fun and gratifying, it’s also important to have lasting friendships in your life.
   • Find individuals with similar interests, and focus on cultivating friendships built on mutual respect and shared interests.
4. Invite friendly individuals to hang out again. Once the party or social gathering has ended, the crowd will dissipate; at this point, you can reach out to people you’ve spoken with and invite them to participate in an activity that interests both of you.
   • If you met several people that you’d like to see again, invite them all to an activity together. This way, you’ll be able to introduce your new friends to one another, and still maintain your status as the center of attention.

Becoming the Center of Attention at Work

1. Look your best and dress professionally. The best way to begin drawing attention to yourself is to do so nonverbally; if you dress more professionally you will appear to have more authority, and your office mates and coworkers will be visually drawn to you. Try:
   • Wearing chinos instead of jeans
   • Wearing a dress or skirt instead of jeans
   • Wearing a jacket, or a more formal shirt
2. Take the initiative in your job. More attention will be devoted to you if you offer to lead projects, start new developments, or offer solutions to significant problems. Rather than sitting back and letting others handle the majority of the innovating and leading, step up to the plate yourself.
   • This will place you into the center of attention, as it shows leadership skills. As long as you do the work well, you should be positively noticed by your boss.
3. Engage with other employees and your supervisor. This may seem like common sense, but many employees barely talk with the people in their office, and instead go through the day with as little communication as possible.
   • Face-to-face time will increase your time as the center of attention. Although you shouldn’t detract from your own or other employees’ productivity, do try to engage coworkers in friendly (work-related) conversations.
4. Organize workplace events outside of the office. This will help you draw attention to yourself, and will give others the impression that you are a social, outgoing individual. Try proposing events like:
   • An office or company happy hour at a nearby restaurant.
   • An office picnic, potluck, or cookout.
   • An office sports game, like softball or volleyball.

Tips

• Remember that it’s healthy to let others have plenty of attention too.
• Resist any impulses to manipulate those people around you into giving you more attention than you would otherwise receive.

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Sources and Citations

See also

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• Have a Social Life
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• Improve Social Skills
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• Talk to Celebrities
• Understand Why Your Boyfriend Acts Differently when He Is With His Mates
• Avoid Being Socially Awkward
• Be the Most Irresistible Woman at a Party
• Enjoy Yourself at a Party Without Drinking

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