Believe in You when Others Disapprove of You
Believing in yourself can be really hard when others don't. But when other people try to keep you down, just be proud of who you are and stand by the decisions you make. Here is a guide on wikiHow to believe in you when others disapprove of you.
Steps
- Be a first rate version of yourself. You owe it to yourself to unearth and act on your strengths and talents. A life lived trying to live up to others' expectations of you is a half-baked life filled with shadows that will always cause you to jump. Find out what really drives you and pursue it with a single-mindedness that still leaves room for loved ones and community; finding that balance will keep you whole and sane.
- Dream and go for the the goals you set yourself. Shoot higher than you think you can do. There will be plenty of times when you overshoot but just remember that at least you're participating in life and achieving action, which is more than many people ever do, out of fear of disapproval.
- Aim to do better than your contemporaries and predecessors. If people complain about your efforts, take an objective look at what you're doing. Sort the destructive from the constructive comments and only use what is constructive in order to improve yourself and your efforts. Bear in mind that the closer you get to a goal, there will always be detractors who are scared of your success and will try to undermine your confidence to help themselves feel better. Don't take that on board.
- Try to be better than yourself. Challenge yourself; when you've made one achievement don't just sit on it. Move beyond it, time and time again. Yes, you'll make mistakes and go down the wrong alleys sometimes but you'll always be learning, growing and changing for the better. That is better than living in the stagnant world of "always the same" that your naysayers feel safe in.
- If you have found your truth within yourself there is nothing more in this whole existence to find. That said, truth isn't what you say it is; truth has to be uncovered by trial and error, by testing and by facing unpleasant and undesirable facts in your life. It is only be seeking to disprove the things that you believe to be truths that they can be confirmed as the right ways for you.
- Take time to play. All work and no play does turn people dull; they start thinking alike, acting alike and criticizing anyone who doesn't toe the same old boring line they're content to stay stuck with. Leisure and rest time restores your priorities and helps you to float above the normal, the typical. It allows you to be creative, to find answers from lateral thoughts and to take breaks from things you've become too close to. Re-energized people do the best work in life.
- Ask for what you want. If you believe people are great at mind-reading, your life will feel like one great resentment that they're not bothering. Until the human species can read minds, and even then interpret the thoughts kindly, you're going to have to state your wants and needs with a polite and firm clarity. This isn't about being bossy, pushy or demanding; it's about asserting your place in the world and seeking the things you need to flourish. Sure, people will often say no, but they'll also often say yes. And a no can be changed with the right attitude and some persistence.
- Laugh. Without laughter, life is soulless. What makes you laugh? What do you find funny? Put more of it in your life and use it to wind down, laugh out boldly and release the build-up of tensions. Humor has a way of cutting through hubris and humbling us; use it to see the lighter side of life and to stop taking yourself––and others––overly seriously. Let everyone share in your lighter self by sharing laughter too.
- Live loudly. Be bold and daring. Have the courage to put your talent on open display and risk the inevitable criticism. Many a critic lacks the courage to live loudly, choosing instead to pick on those who do dare. This isn't something you should define yourself by; take their disapproval and turn it into art, outcomes or achievements. You don't need to be a quiet mouse anymore.
- Be avid. In all that you do, approach the new and old with full heart and determination. If you feel half-hearted or bored by something, examine deeper why that may be––often it's because you're not challenging yourself enough out of fear of what others might think. Have the passion it takes to see things through and to keep them going for a long time; such devotion will reward you.
- Learn new things. A learner has a fresh and open mind; no matter how much you know already, learn more. Switch to things you thought you could never learn, or are afraid to learn. Push, push and push yourself through the initial hardness of learning something new until a rhythm begins and it starts to feel okay. With more effort, it'll start to feel amazing and you'll want more. And when you've mastered that new thing, go and find another new thing to challenge yourself with. Your mind will stay alive, vibrant and receptive to all the world has to offer.
- Be yourself. It's a cliché for a reason––too many of us are chasing after clone status, wanting to be like a celebrity, a popular person or someone else. It's tough to stand up for who you are and what matters to you but that is an important part of maturing at any age and stage of life. Accept that our time is one of celebrity cults but don't be sucked in by it anymore––stop reading about them and start remembering that they're people just like you and who have as many insecurities, troubles and weirdness deep inside as any other person.
- Focus on your goals. Keep striving toward the things you care about and that matter to both you and the world. Stay focused on achieving things that help others and that make the world a better place to be. Yes, there will be those who criticize your interpretation of what this takes but so what. It takes all sorts of dissident opinions to bring about a healthy outcome, so listen, learn and dissect that criticism and only take to heart that which truly helps you to grow in a healthy and fulfilling way. The rest, as they say, is history.
Tips
- A mysterious smile will do wonders for the disapproving look or comment. They'll wonder why you're smiling, and won't know what to say or do next other than shrink.
- Time is wasted focusing on why others disapprove of us, which in turn, engenders more disapproval for the wasting of time!
