Clean up a Toilet Papered House

So your house was TP’d by pranksters. Someone had a good laugh and now you're stuck on clean up duty. Not to worry, you can effectively remove all the evidence of this prank without too much hassle. In case your house has been TP'd, there are a few steps you can take to get rid of the mess in an orderly fashion. By making a few preparations, removing the paper, and disposing of it, your house will look great in no time.

Steps

Preparing for Clean Up

1. Survey the damage. Pay attention to which areas are most heavily hit with toilet paper. Take special notice of where the long lines of it start and end. This can prevent leftover toilet paper all over the roof and tall trees.
   • If there is a lot of toilet paper and you are unhappy with this, feel free to contact the police. If your house has cameras, they might even be able to catch the people who did it and have them clean up the mess.
2. Find people to help. If there is a lot of toilet paper, gather some friends or family members to help take it down. You will clean it much faster. Consider having people work on different zones. Maybe one person cleans up the tree while another works on the yard while someone else works on the roof.
3. Bring out bins to put removed paper in. Your clean up will move faster if you collect the paper in a few bins as you go so that you don't have to pick it up multiple times. This will aid in the disposal of it. If you simply throw paper on the ground, you will need to clean it up again. Bins will help you to avoid this.
   • If you don’t have bins, bring out a few garbage bags and put the paper in them. Garbage bags are easy to move around and can hold a lot of paper. Consider placing a rock on top of the bag so that it doesn’t blow away.

Removing Toilet Paper

1. Remove paper before it rains. If toilet paper gets wet, it will stick to the surface and be nearly impossible to remove. If it has already gotten wet, wait until it dries. Try to avoid dealing with wet paper at all costs.
   • Dew is another factor to consider. If your grass is wet, hold off on removal until it dries so that the paper doesn’t disintegrate when touching the ground.
2. Remove paper from top to bottom. Start picking up the toilet paper that is highest up, like in treetops and on your roof. This way, if it falls, you will not waste time having to redo an area that you already cleaned.
   • If you don't want to get your hands dirty, you can wear gardening gloves while you remove the paper.
3. Use long sticks, poles, and rakes to reach high places. This is a safer way to get the toilet paper down than with a ladder. These will allow you to reach high places and pull down any paper that is stuck. Try to place the pole in between the paper and the tree branch, for example, and then pull on it. This should help take it down.
   • To rake paper, simply reach up with your rake and scrape it down. Some of it should fall and some of it will likely be caught in your rake. Place any removed paper in a bin or garbage bag.
4. Use a ladder when necessary. If you can’t reach the high places, use a ladder and exercise safety when doing so. Be especially careful if your grass is at all slippery. Have someone hold the ladder in place while you are on it and make sure it is level and locked into place. You don't want to head down to the ER on the same day you were toilet papered.
   • Make sure to use a ladder that is appropriate for the job. If you only need to reach a few feet higher, you don’t need a large extension ladder. Try a step ladder instead.
5. Use a leaf blower to move small pieces of paper. This will help you when gathering the little shredded pieces of toilet paper. It takes time and patience to get all of those pieces, but a leaf blower can help you to move them more quickly into a pile.
   • Save this for last. Wait until all the large pieces have been removed and then work on the small pieces that are left over. This will help you to avoid making a bigger mess.

Disposing of Toilet Paper

1. Place paper in receptacles as you go. It is better to do this while removing paper so that you have less to clean up. Use bins or garbage bags and fill them while removing paper. Remember not to put it in a pile on the lawn or driveway because if the ground is wet, you'll have to scrape it off.
2. Recycle toilet paper. Once your toilet paper is in your recycling bins, simply give to your recycling service with the rest of your recyclables. If you need to find a recycling center, you can do a quick search at recyclingcenters.org. The cardboard rolls can be recycled as well.
   • Some recycling centers require you to sort your recyclables. Contact your local recycling facility to see if you need to separate your paper products from plastics or other materials.
3. Throw out toilet paper. If you do not have recycling services, you can throw it out with your garbage. Simply place in garbage bags and dispose with the rest of your trash. However, recycling is recommended.
4. Compost toilet paper. Many people don’t realize that toilet paper can be composted. As long as it doesn’t contain ink, it shouldn’t have any adverse effects. Simply add the paper to your compost pile and mix in with the rest of your materials.
   • Don’t add too much paper to your compost pile because it doesn’t contain nutrients that will help your fertilizer be rich. A few handfuls will suffice.

Tips

• The more people who cooperate, the faster you will get this nasty task done!
• If your whole street got hit, try cleaning up other people's yards. This is good for the community and you might meet your neighbors if they see you doing this great thing.
• Don't yell in frustration at the mess when you first see it. TPing usually isn't meant to make you mad. Most of the time, it is just a joke. Try not to take it personally.
• If you need assistance to take down toilet paper, call your gardener(s).
• If you don't know who did this to you, clean up early in the morning if possible. When the people who did this come back to look at their handiwork (normally in the afternoon), it will look like it never happened, thereby robbing them of satisfaction!
• Don’t reuse removed paper. It might seems like you just got a bunch of free toilet paper, but once it has been in your yard, it is no longer sanitary. Therefore, it must be disposed of. This is why TPing someone’s house is wasteful.

Warnings

• Toilet paper is flammable. Do not use open flames around it. Houses have burned down by people trying to remove toilet paper with fire.
• Do not spread the word about being TP'd. The people who did it are likely seeking attention and trying to aggravate you. If they succeed, they will probably do it again.
• Be very careful at all times when on a ladder! Have someone hold the ladder steady while you are on it.
• If toilet paper is on the roof, do not go on the roof if it's higher than a one story house. Use a long ladder. If not, you may slip and fall and hurt yourself.
• Remove all paper before it rains. Rain will turn the toilet paper to mushy glue and it will stick if it hits your driveway and you will have to scrape it off.

Things You'll Need

• Long stick, rake, and/or a long pole
• Ladder
• People to help you
• Recycling carts

Related Articles

• Toilet Paper a House
• Convince Your Family to Help Clean and Maintain the House
• Clean a House
• Impress Your Parents by Cleaning the House
• Escape a House After Toilet Papering It

Sources and Citations

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• Pressure Wash Vinyl Siding

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