Convince Your Parents to Let You Go to Boarding School

Attending boarding school can open numerous doors for students. Before you can access these wonderful opportunities, however, you must persuade your parents to let you apply to boarding school. Sit down with your parents and explain why you want to attend boarding school. To prepare for this conversation, spend time researching boarding schools, finding solutions to your parents' concerns, and thinking about why boarding school is right for you.

Steps

Taking the Initiative

1. Research boarding schools. Have you already talked to your parents about boarding school? What were their major concerns about letting you attend boarding school? Did they have any questions? Before you talk to your parents again (or for the first time), take time to research several boarding schools.
   • As you research, write down facts and statistics that will answer their questions and find solutions to their concerns.
   • Write down facts about class sizes, teaching methods, number of student borders, extracurricular opportunities, sports teams, tuition, and location.
2. Prepare for the entrance tests. In order to apply to boarding school, you must take the Secondary School Admission Test (SSAT) or the Independent School Entrance Exam (ISEE). To perform well on these challenging tests, you must study and prepare for the evaluations. Studying for these exams before your parents agree to let you take them will show them that you are serious about commitment to attending boarding.
   • The SSAT tests students in grades 3 through 12. It costs approximately $120.00.
   • The ISEE tests students in grades 2 through 12. It costs between $105.00 to $185.00. There are fee waivers available.
3. Think about the cost of boarding school. Boarding schools are expensive. The cost of private eduction causes many parents say "no" to boarding school. In addition to paying tuition, students and their families must cover the cost of room and board and travel expenses. Before you talk to your parents, spend time brainstorming how you could help fund your private education. Coming up with a creative solution may help convince them to let you attend boarding school.
   • Do the schools you are interested in offer scholarships and financial aid packages?
   • Do you qualify for need or merit based aid?
   • Are there independent scholarships you can apply for and receive?
   • Are you able to work while you attend school?
   • Will the cost of your current extracurricular activities (private music lessons, sports clubs, dance classes) offset the cost of boarding school?

Identifying How Boarding School Will Benefit You

1. Highlight the school’s rigorous academic expectations. The faculty at boarding schools expect a lot from their students. Their goal is to develop students' critical thinking skills and preparing students for college. Boarding schools also offer smaller class sizes. This allows teachers to work directly with each student. When you talk with your parents, mention that:
   • Your current classes aren't challenging you.
   • You want to take college level courses.
   • You would benefit, or be helped by, smaller class sizes.
2. Express an interest in the school’s fine arts program. While public institutions continue to cut funding for the arts, many boarding schools have fantastic fine arts programs. Boarding schools provide their students with the time, instructors, and opportunity needed to develop as a musician, artist, and/or theatrical performer. During your conversation, bring up the fact that:
   • Your current school does not have a fine arts program.
   • Attending boarding school would increase your chances of getting accepted into a reputable performing arts college or university.
3. Emphasize the school’s impressive sports programs. Many boarding schools have outstanding athletic programs. Since their teams can afford to compete around the nation and world, their student athletes are more likely to play in front of recruiters from high ranking college programs. They also offer a variety of sports that are not available at every public school, such as squash and equestrian. As you talk with your parents, mention that:
   • You want to train and compete at a high level.
   • Playing for this school will help you get recruited by a Division I college or university.
4. Identify your need to attend a therapeutic boarding school. Therapeutic boarding schools are ideal for students struggling to cope with and/or recover from a variety of issues, such as substance abuse, eating disorders, severe traumas, and learning disabilities. These institutions offer students all of the academic and extracurricular opportunities of traditional boarding schools. During their time at school, however, certified providers oversee rehabilitation services for students. When you talk to your parents, let them know that:
   • You want focus on improving your mental, physical, and/or spiritual health.
   • You want to receive intensive therapy while attending school.

Presenting Your Research

1. Create a detailed presentation. Before you talk with your parents, you may want to prepare and rehearse a small presentation, or pitch. In this presentation:
   • Include information about specific schools you are interested in, like cost, available aid/scholarships, class size, and location.
   • Explain why you feel boarding school is the best option for you. "I want to attend boarding school because it will (help me prepare for college, increase my chances to play DI sports, allow me to attend therapy and school, etc.)."
   • Mention that you've started preparing for the application process. "I've started studying for the entrance exams." "I have a draft of my personal statement." "I've asked my current teachers to write letters of recommendation." This will demonstrate to them that you are serious about applying to boarding school.
   • Provide answers to your parents' previous questions. "I know you are concerned about paying for the school. The scholarship I qualify for will help cover the cost." "Last time we talked, you mentioned that you didn't want me too far from home. I found an excellent boarding school just a few hours from town."
2. Present your case to your parents. When your presentation is complete, ask your parents to meet with you. When everyone is settled, ask your parents to hold their questions until the end of your presentation. Take a deep breath and start your presentation.
   • Provide your parents with additional information, like handouts, brochures, and/or contact information for various school administrators.
3. Let your parents respond. Following your presentation, ask your parents if they have any questions or comments. As they talk, try not to interrupt them.
   • You may want to take notes. This will help you keep track of all of their concerns and questions.
4. Have a conversation with your parents. When they’ve finished, start a conversation with your parents. Do your best to answer their questions and provide solutions to their concerns. Continue talking back and forth until your parents reach a decision. If your parents say “yes,” congratulations! You can start applying to boarding school!
   • "You wanted to know more about the boarding school I like. Would you be open to talking to a representative from the school?"
   • "I'm not sure how financial aid works either. Can we find someone to explain it to us?"
   • "I understand that you love watching me play basketball. If I go to this boarding school, I would play five games within a few hours of our hometown."
   • "Would you be open to a boarding school closer to our hometown?"
   • "If I improve my current grades, can I apply to boarding school?"
5. Don't give up. If your parents say “no,” ask them what you can do to convince them to let you attend boarding school. Take their suggestions seriously. As you find out more information or meet their requirements, update your parents and ask them to reconsider.

Tips

• If they say “no,” don’t give up. Keep working hard to persuade them.
• Demonstrate that you are responsible and respectful.
• Continue to work really hard at your current school to achieve good grades.

Warnings

• Make sure this is a choice you want to make. Can you leave behind the friends you made at your other school and maybe even a sport that isn't available at the new school? Can you be independent from your parents and not see them for months straight? Ask yourself these questions and give yourself an honest answer before going to your parents.

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Sources and Citations

See also

• Convince Your Parents to Let You Stay Home from School
• Stay Home from School