Convince Your Parents to Let You Move out when You Turn 16

Convincing your parents that you're ready and able to live on your own when you're 16 can be a challenge, and most parents will resist. Parents’ natural instinct is to keep their kids close and safe, and letting you move out at a young age goes against that instinct. If you have thoroughly thought through how difficult it will be to live on your own without assistance from your parents or anyone else and still want to take on the challenges, then convincing your parents will start with showing them that you're mature and responsible enough to take care of yourself. This may require months of adult behavior on your behalf, but if your parents don’t feel like you're capable of living on your own, then they’ll never agree to let you move out.

Steps

Showing Your Parents You’re Ready

1. Get a job. Living on your own and supporting yourself takes a lot of money, so you will need a job with a steady income. Holding down a job will also show your parents that you're responsible and mature, and make it more likely for them to appreciate your need for independence.
   • Look for a job that offers flexible hours, and that can accommodate the time you still have to put in as a student.
   • It can be difficult to manage work, school, and homework, so consider setting up a time budget for yourself.
2. Take on some more household chores. When you're living on your own, you'll be responsible for the cooking, cleaning, laundry, garbage, and maintenance. For your parents to see that you're ready for this, consider accepting more responsibility around the house.
3. Start traveling around the city on your own. Your parents may drive you to and from school, work, practices, and other places, but you won’t have that luxury when you're living on your own. To get yourself used to that, and to demonstrate that you're capable of being independent, consider not relying on your parents for rides anymore.
   • Public transit is an option available in many towns and cities to get people from place to place.
   • If you’ve been able to save enough money for a car and have a driver’s licence, talk to your parents about buying your own car.
4. Do your research. Before moving out, consider researching safe neighborhoods to see what's available there. And if you're going to be taking public transit, check the routes and make sure the housing you're looking at is close to stops. Furthermore, before committing to a specific house or apartment, research the cost of comparable housing to make sure the price is fair. You'll also need to make enough money to support yourself, so you will have to know how much to budget for things like:
   • Rent and utilities (heat, electricity, water, etc.)
   • Food and toiletries
   • Public transit or having your own vehicle (monthly payments, insurance, gas, and maintenance)
   • Clothes
   • Phone, cable, and Internet
5. Create a budget. A large part of being mature and responsible enough to live on your own is understanding how much money you'll have going out, what you’ll have coming in, and how much is left over at the end. A budget can be extremely useful, because then you know exactly where your money is going, and whether you can afford certain things or not.
   • For instance, if you know your budget only allots $40 for food per week, you'll immediately know that you shouldn’t spend $10 of that on a single fast food meal.
6. Have a plan for the immediate future. It’s not enough to tell your parents that you want to move out: you need to figure out where you're going, if you're going to live with anyone else, and if you'll have equally responsible roommates.
   • Consider moving in with another family member if you really feel like you need to be away from your parents. Another family member may be able to give you some space from your parents, but they’ll also still be able to help you when you need it.
   • Many landlords will be reluctant to rent a place to someone who’s only 16, because they're concerned about damage, noise, and irresponsible behavior.
7. Have a life plan. The rest of your life, and your goals, won’t stop just because you move out, but these things may be harder to manage. It can be good to have a five- or 10-year plan laid out. Not only will this demonstrate to your parents that you're concerned about the future, but it will also help guide you over the next few years. For instance, you might want to consider things like:
   • Are you planning on going to college or university after you graduate high school? How do you plan to pay for your school?
   • Do you want to continue working at the same job for the next number of years? If not, what kind of job do you hope to find instead?
   • Do you have any financial goals for the near future?
   • Will you need to buy your own car? If so, can you afford a safe and reliable vehicle?
8. Understand the risks. Part of being an adult is understanding and managing risks, and living away from your parents when you're a minor can be risky. For one, people may think they can take advantage of you because of your age.
   • Because you'll be juggling work and school, it may be difficult to manage your time properly.
   • If you're going to be living on your own and not with family or friends, know your rights and responsibilities as a tenant.
   • If any medical emergencies occur, you may need money to cover the expenses.
9. Save your money. Many rental agreements require a deposit or first and last month’s rent up front, and that may cost you a couple thousand dollars. You may also need money for a deposit to get certain utilities set up, and you should always have money put away for an emergency.
   • It’s a good idea to have enough money set aside to cover your monthly expenses for three to six months, in case anything happens and you can’t work or bring in money.
10. Research the legal process. Even if your parents agree, you may not legally be allowed to move out, depending on where you live. For instance:
    • In the United Kingdom, you can only move out at 16 with the consent of a parent.
    • In the United States, you have to become emancipated before you can legally leave home at that age. Emancipation means you're legally considered an adult for the purposes of taking care of yourself, and your parents are no longer responsible for your welfare. You can become emancipated at the age of 16, but barring abuse or other circumstances, you will need the consent of your parents.
    • In Australia, there's no legal age for leaving home, but the authorities can take you back home if they feel your basic needs aren’t being met.
    • Take note that if you do require parental permission to leave home and don’t have it, you could put other adults in legal trouble if you move in with them.

Talking to Your Parents

1. Plan the talk. Your parents will likely be very resistant to the idea of you moving out, so it’s important to approach the topic the right way. You will need to have open and honest communication with them in order to explain what you want and why you think they should agree.
   • Schedule a family meeting with your parents and let them know you have something important you want to talk to them about.
   • Pick a quiet time when your parents are calm and ready to talk. Don’t just drop this conversation on them in the middle of a fight, holiday, or family trip.
2. Start the conversation. When you and your parents do sit down to have the talk, start by explaining to them that you're responsible and capable of living on your own. Tell them about all the things you’ve been doing lately to prepare yourself for living on your own, and explain to them how it’s made you realize that living on your own will be tough, but that you're ready.
   • Tell them about how work is going and how you're saving enough money.
   • Show them the budget you created and the expenses you researched.
   • Talk to them about how you’ve been managing school along with your extra responsibilities at work and around the house.
3. Explain why you want to move out. Your parents are going to want to know why their baby wants to leave, and it’s best if you have an answer ready. Maybe you feel like you need more freedom, or maybe you’ve all been fighting a lot lately. Whatever the reason, be ready to answer openly and honestly. Part of being an adult is taking responsibility for your actions and owning up to your choices.
   • If there have been problems at home that are making you want to move out, maybe now is a good time to discuss them with your parents. It’s possible that you can come to an agreement so that you can get what you need and still live at home.
   • Another option to address family problems is counselling and mediation, which could help you and your parents work through some issues and reach compromises that allow you to keep living with them while still getting more freedom.
4. Be ready to answer questions and explain your plan. Above all, your parents may want to know where you're going and who you'll be living with. Now more than ever, it’s important to communicate openly. Don’t keep secrets or try to hide anything.
   • Remember that your parents want to know because they care about you, and want to know that you'll be safe.
   • Explain that you’ve thought through your plan, and that you're ready to take on the challenge. To help ease their minds, create a list of emergency names and numbers that you'd contact in different situations so they know you're prepared.
5. Prepare yourself for how they might react. Every person is different, but it’s safe to say you can expect your parents to be hurt, angry, sad, and confused by your desire to leave home. React to their feelings with understanding and calmness: getting angry in return won’t help your cause, and it won’t help the discussion at all.
   • Give your parents time to process your request, and reschedule another family meeting in a few days to follow up and discuss their reactions.

Tips

• If you want to move out to escape abuse, neglect, or poor living conditions, tell an adult that you trust, call the police, or call a crisis hotline.
• If you plan on going to college or university, remember that you'll be leaving home in a couple years anyway, and it may be best to finish high school while you're still at home.

Related Articles

• Convince Your Parents to Let You Switch Schools
• Get Your Boyfriend to Move Out

Sources and Citations

See also

• Tell Your Parents You Got a Ticket
• Ask Your Mom for Birth Control
• Tell Your Parents that You're Depressed
• Tell Your Mom About Your Period
• Start Talking to Your Parents About Your First Relationship
• Tell Your Mom You Are Bisexual
• Talk to a Parent About a Bad Grade on Your Report Card
• Tell Your Parents You Smoke Marijuana
• Tell Your Mother You're Pregnant when You Are a Teen
• Tell Your Parents You Are Bisexual

Read more ...

What links here

• Convince Your Parents to Let You Go to Boarding School
• Drop out of Society
• Get Your Boyfriend to Move Out
• Know when You Are Ready to Move out of Home
• Make Your Mom Let You Go Places
• Merge Two Households