Cope with the End of a Dance or Sports Career

It's difficult to cope with the end of a sports or dance career, whether you've suffered a career-ending injury or have retired after a long, fulfilling career. Since your sport or art form played a major role in defining your self-worth, coping with its loss is a grieving process. Allow yourself to mourn, but remind yourself that you are capable of overcoming your loss. Regain your confidence by celebrating the opportunities now open to you, and work on finding new passions, rituals, and routines.

Steps

Processing Grief

1. Give yourself time to accept the end of your career. Grieving a loss is different from person to person. The way you respond may depend on the length of your career, your emotional investment in your career, and the reason your career ended. Don't rush things, but take the time you need to emote, process your feelings, and gain acceptance. Remind yourself that life goes on and, in time, you will find happiness and self-worth outside of your dance or athletic career.
2. Don't be ashamed of feeling sad and angry. Allow yourself to experience emotions, like anger, frustration, or sadness. Avoid minimizing your emotions or being ashamed of them. Let yourself emote, but try not to dwell: experience emotions then work to move on with your life.
   • Keep in mind that your grief will not suddenly disappear one day. You may start to have more good days as your emotions resolve over time, but you may also go back and forth between good days and bad days.
3. Try writing or keeping a journal. Writing can be a helpful way to both experience and release your emotions. You can try a couple of different strategies to help process your grief:
   • Write down your feelings on a piece of paper, then burn it or otherwise destroy it. Imagine that the burning paper symbolizes the process of releasing your emotional burden.
   • Keep a journal to vent your feelings of grief and read your past entries to track your progress. Try not to dwell on the feelings you've expressed, but focus on the progress you've made through grief's stages.
4. Try breathing exercises that reduce anxiety and depression. Sit in a comfortable position, and breathe slowly but naturally for a bit to relax yourself. When you're relaxed, breath deeply and expand your belly as you visualize a color you find happy or calming. Count to four as you breath in, hold your breath for a four count and, as you slowly exhale, tighten your abdominal muscles to squeeze out all the air in your body.
   • Imagine letting go of your feelings of worry, sadness, or frustration as you squeeze your breath out. When you inhale, envision yourself filling up with calmness, hope, and strength.
   • Set aside about 20 minutes to do your breathing exercises free of any distractions. Wear loose clothing that won't restrict your breathing. Do your exercises daily, or whenever you feel anxious or depressed.
5. Consider seeing a counselor. Get Counselling can help tailor your coping process and provide you with specialized support that you may not get from family or friends. It's normal to feel like loved ones can't relate to what you're going through. Talking to a grief counselor or therapist who specializes in dance or sports psychology can offer the comfort of knowing someone understands your struggle.
   • Try using the online search tools at Good Therapy (http://www.goodtherapy.org/find-therapist.html) or Psychology Today (https://therapists.psychologytoday.com/rms/).
   • Search online for “sports psychologist” or “dance psychologist” near your location. Specialists in these areas, including psychologists who were former dancers or athletes, are becoming more common. You can also try asking your team or dance company for a referral to mental health professional who has experience with dancers or athletes.
6. Don't self-medicate or abuse any substances. Self-medicating with drugs or alcohol can be a tempting coping mechanism, especially if you've suffered a career-ending injury. However, they'll only isolate you, damage your health, and keep you from processing your grief.
   • Well-meaning friends may offer to take you out drinking to get your mind off of things. However, this is not a healthy way to cope. You might want to tell friends that you are avoiding alcohol for a while to ensure that you cope with your emotions in a healthy way.
   • Seek counseling if you have any issues with self-medicating or addiction.

Regaining Confidence

1. Stay connected to your support system. It's easy to lose your sense of self-identity and confidence and, as a result, isolate yourself. However, you must challenge yourself to remain connected to your friends, family, former teammates, and other members of your support system. Resist feeling isolated, disconnected, or unsure of yourself.
   • Reach out to someone when you need to, whether it's a family member, old teammate, or your counselor. You could call a friend and say, "My confidence level is really low today, and I could really use a friend. I know I want to discover a new sense of purpose, but I don't even know where to start. Do you have time to grab a coffee or just chat on the phone for a bit?"
   • If you want to talk about your feelings, you should. However, just spending time with loved ones can comfort you and remind you that you are connected to other people.
   • Keep in mind that it is okay if you don't feel like spending as much time with people, but it is a good idea to continue to maintain some social involvement. Try to spend time with friends and family as you normally would, even if you have to set a time limit or have some quiet time after to recover.
2. Don't be discouraged by setbacks. Many former dancers and athletes treat coping with the end of their career like a performance or game: you either do the right dance step or not, or you either win the game or not. This either/or, linear way of thinking can leave you feeling even less confident or like you're doing something wrong if you have trouble coping.
   • Instead of thinking that there are right and wrong ways of coping, remember that everyone copes differently. Think of coping as an open process. Accept that you might have setbacks and bad days, but try not to let them define you.
3. Make a list of your other favorite qualities. Your dance or athletic career becomes a major part of your identity, but you should remember that you are a unique person with many other talents and qualities. Take some time to reflect and write a list of things about yourself that you admire.
   • You could list your core values, like honesty, sense of duty, or humor. You could write down your relationships with other people, like being a parent, son or daughter, sibling, or best friend. List your other talents or hobbies, like being great at board games, gardening, bike riding, or music.
   • Carry this list with you and read over it regularly, especially when you start to feel down. You can also post it somewhere that you will see it often, such as on your computer monitor or on a mirror.
4. Visualize your future life experiences. Athletic and dance careers typically end relatively early in life, and you should celebrate this fact. Take time to feel proud of your many accomplishments at such a young age and realize that you are off to a great start towards accomplishing your life goals. It can be daunting to think, “What am I going to do with the rest of my life?” However, instead of letting fear and worry win out, think to yourself, “It is incredibly exciting that I have so many possibilities ahead of me!”
   • Think of all the experiences your life has in store for you: marriage (if you aren't already), children, grandchildren, embarking on a new career, vacations, and making a difference in someone else's life.

Moving Forward

1. Keep up with your nutrition. Maintaining a balanced diet can be particularly important after an athletic or dance career. Your profession likely demanded a strict diet to help you stay in shape. You should keep eating healthy to keep your body and mind fit.
   • If you need help tailoring the best diet, use an app or resource to create a personalized meal plan, like the US Department of Agriculture's Super Tracker: https://www.supertracker.usda.gov/.
   • Anxiety, along with other moods like sadness, can be physically demanding, so taking in enough nutrients is important for both your body and your mind.
2. Create a new exercise routine. Practice and rehearsal most likely occupied lots of your time and accounted for your daily exercise. You should create a new exercise routine to stay occupied and active. Exercise a half hour a day or more, especially if the activity helps you keep a positive state of mind.
   • Go for jogs and brisk walks, ride your bike, or go to the gym. Try mixing things up by starting a new exercise. For instance, if you never swam much before, start swimming laps every morning.
   • If it is enjoyable for you to continue the exercise you used to do for your career, then you could try doing something similar, such as taking Zumba classes or salsa lessons if you were a dancer. However, if it is too painful for you right now, then it is okay to do something totally different.
3. Create new rituals. In addition to healthy routines, sports and performance typically involve rituals that feel sacred. Without those rituals, it might feel impossible to maintain a sense of order. Find ways of creating new rituals to help restore your senses of meaning and balance in life.
   • Think of any cultural or religious traditions you were raised in, and explore ways of incorporating your tradition's rituals into your life. You could go to a religious service every week, meditate daily, recite a poem or prayer at a certain time every day, or simply keep a daily journal.
4. Consider teaching or coaching. Teaching or coaching can help you stay engaged with the sport or art that you love, and could even be a new career option. Simply volunteering to coach a children's dance or sport team can have a positive impact on your feelings of self-worth. Knowing that others value you and look up to you will boost you confidence.
5. Explore new career options. Look for a job that's related to your former dance or sports career. Try to find a new occupation that will help you put your skills to use.
   • You can also talk to other professionals who retired before you to find out what kinds of careers they pursued after retiring.
   • In addition to teaching or coaching, you could consider options like: personal trainer or fitness instructor, sports or dance journalist, personal assistant, or open your own gym or studio. You could even go back for a psychology degree or counseling certification and help others get through the struggle of ending a sports or dance career.
6. Get assistance from a career transition program. A career transition program can offer career counseling, help you put together a resume and cover letter, help you access healthcare, and help you access emergency financial assistance. Availability and types of services offered varies by location.
   • If you live in the United States, find a nearby regional program on Athlete Career Transition website (http://actpathway.com/) or the career transitions for dancers section on the Actors Fund's website (http://www.actorsfund.org/services-and-programs/career-transition-dancers).
   • For locations outside of the US, search your national government's website to check for state-funded programs. Do an online search for “career transition programs” or “career counseling” for dancers or athletes near your location.

References

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