Create Conversation With an Untalkative Boyfriend

Do you hate those awkward pauses? Isn't it annoying when you have nothing to talk about? Read this article to learn how to stop a no-fun relationship and turn it into something enjoyable. You can also find out if you are in a worth while relationship.

Steps

Conversation Help

Doc:Great Conversation Topics,Conversation Starters,Ways to Keep a Conversation Going

Is he really worth the effort?

  1. Be sure that you enjoy spending time with that special person. For example, you may have something in common like a sport, hobby, or taste in art. If you have found you have nothing in common with your boyfriend, then your relationship is probably not worthwhile.
  2. Reflect on your needs. If you find that conversation comes naturally for you with people outside of your relationship, chances are you need to evaluate if you should be in this relationship. If talking is important to you and there are significant blocks in your relationship, you might find your needs will be better met with a natural talker. They are out there. If you don't want to give up just yet, be patient. It takes some men a while to open up and feel comfortable with someone they're trying to impress.

Improving your conversation together

  1. Start with simple questions. Ask him how his day is going. Ask him what his plans are for the year coming up and for life in general.
    • If you don't know a lot about his friends and want to know what they are like to see if they would be nice, ask him what he thinks about his friends.
    • Ask him what his favorite band is or type of music and why. Maybe you can connect with him and start a bigger conversation.
  2. If you don't know him all that well yet, ask him the base questions. These are questions like, "Do you have any hobbies?" and "Where do you work?/Go to school?" If they are currently attending a school, you can ask them about what they major in, or what their favorite class is. This can bring up common ground, and/or get them talking passionately about their lives.
  3. Open up to him. If your boyfriend doesn't like to talk much and/or is shy, perhaps he likes to listen. Talk about what's happening in your life and ask for his advice on any issues you might be having. He will most likely appreciate your trusting his opinion! Make sure to try to include him while you're talking (and avoid whining); otherwise, you might as well be talking to a wall.
  4. Get him to open up. To get your boyfriend to talk, ask him questions that are relatively easy to answer thoroughly: "So how's work/school?" "Is your (relative) feeling ok?" As much as possible, try to keep away from those dead-end 'yes or no' questions.

Advancing the conversation

  1. Know who's who and what's what. Before going on a date, check up on the latest world events online or on television. If you enjoy reading, keep a newspaper handy at home. You and your partner can then share your opinions on the matters (and if he has no clue on current events, you can inform him!). Be careful not to sound too pretentious and pick a topic that you know will appeal to both you and your boyfriend.
  2. Use conversation starters such as hypothetical situations. Asking things like "If you won a billion dollars to only spend on yourself, what would you do with the money?" or "If you could live the life of one famous person for a day, who would it be?" can be a great way of learning your boyfriend's character - his values, pet peeves, etc. and thus giving you ideas for conversations with him in the future.
  3. Find and assess any issue(s) that may be causing lackluster conversations. Did you two recently have a fight? Is he giving you the silent treatment? He may be confused about the relationship or is worried about something he is afraid to discuss with you. If the distance between you is troubling, you could benefit by confronting him. Then again, if he's just preoccupied, give him time. He'll come around.

Tips

  • Be patient and give him time to open up. He may be nervous or may not have much experience with relationships.
  • Relationships are important to feel an emotional satisfaction with yourself,don't waste your time if you don't find that connection with that person.
  • If you keep forcing him/her to talk, you will probably push them away. Give them time to talk (they matter too).
  • Normally if you can't find anything to talk about, it most likely means that you have nothing in common.

Warnings

  • If it continues being so hard, it's an indication that it's probably not a compatible match between the two of you. Conversation should feel easy, not like a constant challenge, with those you're intimate with.
  • Maybe there is a reason why he doesn't want to talk. Don't be pushy and throw a fit about how he never talks to you.

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