Eat Corn on the Cob

Corn on the cob is a delectable summertime dish that everyone ought to know how to properly enjoy!

Steps

  1. Cook the corn. Some exceptionally fresh and ripe corn does not need to be cooked at all.
  2. Watch out! The corn will be hot! Eat the main dish of your meal first while you wait for the corn to cool down.
  3. Add butter. Take a piece of fresh bread and put about a centimeter of butter on the bread. Then, take your hot corn and wrap the buttered bread around it. Butter will melt onto your corn and the corn will make your bread warm. Then you will have neatly buttered corn and a warm piece of buttered bread.
    • Alternatively, place a healthy chunk of butter or margarine on a knife (better yet, use a fork ant let the steam melt the butter so it flows through the prongs)and then move the knife in a horizontal pattern across the body of the ear of corn.
    • Cut a fresh lemon into half horizontally. Mix small quantities of salt, pepper, spices, etc. in a plate. Dab the lemon into the mixture and rub it all over a roasted cob, squeeze the lemon a bit while doing so, to add the lemon's taste to the cob. You can use all sorts of condiments, so start experimenting to find the mix that you like.
  4. Start eating the cob.This is the trickiest part. The key to neat and efficient corn on the cob eating is to use your teeth to pry the kernels whole into your mouth without actually biting into them. (Once they are in your mouth you chew and swallow them normally.) To pry them loose, you will need to have space above or below a row of kernels so that it can be pried loose. Unfortunately, the only easy way to clear the initial space you need (all you need is one row) is to take a normal bite, or, better yet, several bites clear along the cob from one end to another. Then you can pick your teeth clean, because the rest of the process is completely free of any risk of fibers getting stuck between them.
  5. Continue eating. Proceed to use your top or bottom front teeth to pry whole kernels into your mouth, one row at a time, working left to right. If you are using your top teeth, insert them between the row of kernels that is immediately above the cleared space and the row above that. Then with a gentle but firm downward pressure, tumble the kernels home, into your mouth. Work across the row to the end of the ear of corn, then do the next row, and so on. The action is like an old-fashioned typewriter.
  6. Clean Your Teeth. When you have finished eating your corn, use a toothpick to clean your teeth, and a napkin to get the excess kernels off of your face.
  7. Try fondue forks($1) and cut off the tine to a 3" mini ice pick. Now you have a long handle and a secure deep prong.



Tips

  • Add salt to the water when boiling the corn on the cob. This will make the kernels come off more cleanly. The kernels will come off more cleanly because the salt will harden the kernels. This may not be desirable to all people and will make the possibility of overcooking more likely because salt also pulls moisture out of the kernels. In lieu of salt, sugar can be added to the boiling water to help maintain the sweetness of the corn.
  • Use corn holders. They look hilarious, but they help prevent messy fingers when eating corn on the cob. You can get them at most grocery or dollar stores in little packages. You just stick them into the sides of the cob and hold onto them instead of touching the cob, in order to not get messy fingers.
  • Attempt to keep your corn on the cob over your dinner plate. This will make the clean-up process much easier.
  • To get the full experience of eating corn on the cob, be sure that you do not use any substitutes for butter. Butter is the single most important ingredient in this dish, and margarine or low fat "butter buds" will take away from the overall taste of corn on the cob.
  • The "Hunt-and-Peck" approach, also known as, "The Search and Destroy" method, is an acceptable, albeit less common, alternative to the typewriter approach. By this method, the eater identifies the most golden, enticing kernels and consumes those first, whether they be contiguous kernels or not.

Warnings

  • Don't eat corn on the cob on a first date because it may give your date a bad first impression of your table manners.
  • The corn will be hot, if cooked.

Things You'll Need

  • Butter
  • Corn on the cob
  • Salt
  • Knife
  • Napkin
  • Toothpick
  • Corn holders (optional)

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