Feel Sexy Every Day

A majority of women report thinking negative thoughts about their bodies, and many men also have a negative self-image. There are many things that can make it hard to feel sexy and confident, such as media messages and stress. However, a combination of retraining your brain, pampering yourself, and adding some spice to the bedroom can help you regain your feelings of sexiness.

Steps

Treating Your Body Well

1. Integrate more touch into your life. Positive touch can keep your mood elevated and make you feel sexy and desirable. Find ways to bring healthy, positive touch into your everyday life. For example, you might trade back rubs with your spouse or hug a friend.
   • Getting a manicure, pedicure, or massage from a massage therapist are other options to bring positive touch into your life.
2. Wear soft, sensual fabrics to bed. Silky, breathable fabrics such as silk or satin can make your bedtime routine feel special and sensual. Find a great pair of silk or satin pajamas or a soft robe to help you feel great as you prepare for sleep. You might also invest in silky sheets to add some sexiness to your daily routine.
3. Get stronger. Exercise helps release endorphins, leading to a better self-image and lower stress. More than that, exercise can also help you feel stronger and let your body accomplish more. The stronger your body is, the better you will feel.
   • Consider lifting weights, running, or doing a few pushups every day to build muscles.
4. Accentuate your most attractive attributes. Take a few moments to think about your favorite physical attributes. Do you like your eyes? Your arms? Your chest? Build your wardrobe and beauty routine around what you like best about yourself.
   • For example, you can try a new, smoky eyeshadow to draw more attention to your eyes. Or you can buy a new shirt that shows off your strong arms.
5. Pamper yourself. Give yourself permission to invest in self-care. Depending on what you like the most, you might consider giving yourself a spa day, getting a new haircut, going for a professional shave, or having your shirts freshly pressed. If it has been a while since you've taken care of yourself, take yourself out on a pampering date.
6. Take a yoga class. Studies show that women who practice yoga feel sexier. Yoga also helps you build flexibility and tone your muscles, which can lead to sexiness dividends down the road.
7. Make bathing sexy. One way to inject sexiness into your life is to add spice to your daily routines. Rather than simply taking a shower every day, find ways to make your bathing ritual feel special and sensual. Buy some scented candles, play relaxing music, and take a bubble bath.
8. Change up your beauty routine. If you feel like you're stuck in a rut, experiment with new products and styles. Try a new makeup brand, wear a color you've never worn before, or part your hair on the opposite side. This will help you see yourself in a new and positive light and highlight your inner sexiness.
9. Wear clothing that fits. Sometimes when we think we look bad or frumpy, we are in fact simply wearing ill-fitting clothing. Make sure that your clothes are comfortable and the correct size. Don't wear loose, baggy clothing or clothing that is way too tight. You will feel sexiest in clothes that are built for the size you are.
   • Ask a salesperson for advice if you are unsure how to fit your clothing. This is especially important for undergarments such as brassieres.
10. Take dance lessons. Dancing by yourself or with your partner can make you feel sexy and help you get in touch with your body. Dance lessons--especially for a sexy dance style such as the tango or salsa--can help give you self-confidence and a sense of rhythm. You'll be able to remember these lessons well after they're done, and you can always put on your favorite dance song when you feel low.
11. Try a deliberately messy look. Some people like to be perfectly neat and groomed. But sometimes it can feel sexy to look a bit mussy and rumpled, as if you have just gotten out of bed. Tousle your hair to give it a sexy, devil-may-care vibe.
12. Maintain a strong, confident posture. Walking and standing confidently can help make you feel strong, proud, and sexy. Resist the urge to slouch or hunch over. Instead, keep your back straight, your chest out, and your head held high.
13. Get a good night's rest. Sleeping a full 8 hours each night not only helps your mood but it also makes your skin look youthful and rejuvenated. If you are beginning to feel run-down, try to get more sleep each night. You should notice a difference in how you look and how you feel.
14. Commit to treating your body well. Sometimes you can begin to lose your sense of sexiness when you are caught up in the day-to-day stresses of life, work, and family. Make a commitment to yourself that you will treat your body well and pay attention to it in order to feel sexier and more confident. Take the time to eat healthy, exercise, and maintain whatever beauty regime makes you feel good. Don't ignore what your body is telling you because of your other commitments in life.
15. Move your body in ways you enjoy. Exercise is a great way to stay healthy and to feel good. However, exercise can often feel like a chore. Find ways to move your body that you enjoy: dance, play a sport, walk, swim, or do yoga. Don't punish your body with exercise: let your body enjoy it.
16. Focus on how your body feels, not on how it looks. It can be tempting to critique our bodies' imperfections. However, you should remember that sexiness is not about your pant size or your weight: it is about how you feel. Having a body that feels strong and healthy can make you feel sexy: focus on your strength and potential, not on arbitrary numbers.
17. Avoid the scale. People can be healthy and sexy at every stage. Resist the urge to look at the scale every day. This can make you feel inadequate and unsexy, even when your body is looking and feeling great.

Thinking Positively About Yourself

1. Expand your sense of beauty. Tell yourself that there are many different forms of beauty. Do not conform to media messages about what "sexiness" is: those are often impossible standards to meet. Take a look at the normal, average people around you and see the beauty in them. Then be as kind to yourself as you are to those around you.
2. Recognize that nobody feels sexy all the time. Sexiness is often an evanescent feeling. Don't stress yourself out if there are some days when you feel a bit frumpier than usual. Besides, if you felt sexy every minute of every day, it wouldn't be a very special feeling.
3. Be yourself. Don't try to channel somebody else's form of sexiness. Feel free to be inspired by your favorite actors, actresses, and icons, but don't pretend to be them. It is better to fully inhabit yourself.
4. Resist the urge to compare yourself to others. Don't compare yourself negatively to the people you see on television or in magazines. Only think about how you feel and about your priorities.
5. Take some time to yourself. Many people get caught up in obligations to coworkers, friends, and family members. Don't forget to give yourself quality time to take care of your own needs too. Give yourself evenings off sometimes, when you can turn off the phone, shut down your email, and focus on yourself for a change.
   • If you have children, make sure that you have time and space apart from your children as well. Make sure that there is at least one room in your house that is not covered in toys and crayons so that you can relax and enjoy some adult time.
6. Train your brain not to criticize your body. Many people think and talk negatively about their bodies. They complain about their weight, wrinkles, or blemishes. When you find yourself falling into this pattern, disrupt it by forcing yourself to give your body a compliment instead. Eventually, your brain will stop finding criticisms of your body.
7. Do something exciting. Change up your routine in order to feel sexy. Go on a little adventure: try rock climbing or a new restaurant. Make sure that your everyday life is filled with adventure and excitement.
8. Stay away from media. If you are beginning to feel down because of the sexy men and women you see on television or in magazines, give yourself a break from these messages. Magazines make women and men feel worse about themselves. Shut your magazines, turn off your television, and instead listen to some music or read your favorite novel. Make sure you are not comparing yourself to media personalities.
9. Let go of imperfections. All bodies have their imperfections: wrinkles, crooked lines, blemishes, or bulges. These make us human. Don't harp on your perceived imperfections: in fact, it might be your imperfections that make you attractive to others.
10. Embrace your present self. Don't hold onto the past. Feel good about the way you look right now, even if you are a different weight from when you were younger and even if your hair has grayed. Be sexy in your current body: don't compare yourself negatively to who you were ten years ago.
11. Display your accomplishments. Keep reminders of your accomplishments in visible places around the house. Keep your trophies on a shelf and photos of your happiest moments on the walls. Use these displays to boost your confidence when you are feeling low.
12. Make a list of positive traits. Write down a list of all the things you love about yourself and your body. Do you love your confidence? Your smile? Your quick wit? Remember that all of these are key ingredients of your sexiness. Keeping a journal of affirmations like these can help you channel these sexy traits and keep you feeling good about yourself.
13. Avoid negative body-talk. Some groups of friends bond by complaining about their bodies. However, this kind of negative body-talk can reduce everybody's self-esteem. Instead of giving in to negative body-talk, compliment your friends and let them compliment you in return. Affirm each other's beauty and sexiness, and keep things positive.
14. Surround yourself with people who care about you. You will feel sexy if you are surrounded by people who admire and care about you. Stay away from those who criticize you and your body. Find friends and lovers who accept you for who you are: they will help you feel sexy, even on days when you might feel frumpy or out of shape.
15. Learn to accept compliments. If you are given a compliment, resist the urge to demur or deflect. Believe the compliments you are given. Every time you deflect a compliment, you are telling your subconscious that you are unworthy of good energies being directed towards you.
16. Do self-affirmation exercises. Whenever you look in a mirror, find one thing you love about yourself. Appreciate who you are and how far you have come in life. Do the same thing before bed each night. While these exercises might seem forced at first, eventually they will become second-nature, and your feelings of self-love and sexiness will seem effortless.

Feeling Sexy with Your Partner

1. Learn how to give great massages. Exchanging sensual touch with a partner is a great way for you both to feel sexy and confident. Teach yourself how to give great back rubs and foot massages, and let your partner reciprocate.
2. Buy sexy undergarments. Purchase lingerie, underwear, or sleepwear that make you feel attractive and desirable. Treat yourself to new colors and fabrics that boost your confidence and your sexiness. Consider throwing away your old, ratty undergarments once you buy new ones.
3. Pretend to be someone else for a little while. While you should always be yourself, it can also be fun and sexy to role-play every now and again. Channel a confident, sexy person you have seen in movies or on television, and act like that person for a couple of hours. Exude their confidence and sex appeal.
4. Talk dirty sometimes. Inject a little spiciness into your sex life by talking dirty to your lover. Send him or her a sexy text message over your lunch hour, or try to seduce your partner while you cook dinner. Tell them the sexy things you want to do with them, and make them excited about the intimacy to come.
5. Use mood lighting. Studies show that men and women feel sexier in dim lighting. Provide some options for dim mood lighting in your home. Try warm, soft lights instead of bright fluorescent bulbs. Install a dimmer bulb in your bedroom to give yourself mood lighting options. Consider using candlelight on special evenings.
6. Use essential oils on your skin. Essential oils provide a pleasant scent and also help your skin feel smooth and shiny. Massage yourself and your partner with scented oils so that you both feel sexy, confident, and attractive.
7. Take charge in bed. Nothing is sexier than confidence. Initiate sex with your partner, and be very clear with your partner about what you want from your encounter. Give explicit directions, and speak in a confident and take-charge tone. See how your partner responds to your confidence.
8. Undress slowly. Don't treat the act of undressing seem like a boring routine. Make the act of undressing a sexy act by doing it slowly. Maintain eye contact with your partner throughout your undressing.
9. Think about previous sexual encounters. When you are feeling particularly unsexy, try to remember a sexual encounter when you felt especially sexy and confident. Let yourself enjoy these memories, and consider finding ways to channel that positive energy into the present moment.
10. Watch something sexy. Men and women both respond positively to sexy images. Find your favorite romantic or erotic movie, and watch it when you need to inject some sexy energy into your relationship. Watch it with your partner if you want to have a romantic evening together.
11. Display affection, even in public. Feel sexy by loosening up with your partner. Don't be embarrassed to flirt with him or her in public. Display your affection for your partner by holding hands, hugging and kissing, or stroking each other's hair.

Tips

• Remember that sexiness is a feeling, not about how you look.
• Forgive yourself if there are days when you feel frumpy, dowdy, or unsexy. Everybody has those days sometimes.
• Talk about your goals of feeling sexy with your partner or good friends so they can help you stay positive about yourself and your body.

Warnings

• Talk with your doctor before adjusting your diet or exercise regime to make sure you are staying safe.
• If you are plagued by persistent negative thoughts about your body, consider speaking with a therapist about them. Talk to your doctor if your negative body image is leading you to make unhealthy decisions about your diet or exercise.

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Sources and Citations

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