Find out Someone's Birthday

Forgetting a birthday can be embarrassing, especially if it's someone you're close to. If you feel too sheepish to ask for the date, but want to find it out without being too obvious, there's hope, if you know where to look and how to ask. You can learn to coax the information without being obvious, and how to look around if you don't get what you're looking for easily.

Steps

Asking Indirectly

  1. Ask the person what their half-birthday is. Sneaky trick: have a discussion about half-birthdays. Tell your friend that your half-birthday is coming up, and ask when their half-birthday is, then do your calculations later to find the real date. You can usually get someone to spill the beans indirectly, without having to make a fuss. Easy as pie.
  2. Ask the person to describe their favorite birthday. Casually ask the person about his or her favourite birthday. Ask him or her what it was like, and see if you can pick up what time of year it was from the context, based on whether or not the person mentions a season, an upcoming holiday, or even whether it was hot or snowing. This might jog your memory.
  3. Have a general conversation about birthdays. Casually mention your birthday and see if the person reveals anything about his or her birthday. You can say, “Man, I hate being born in the summer. Nobody’s ever around to go to my birthday party!” Or, “I love having a March birthday. It gives me something to look forward to during bad weather.”
    • You can also say something like, “Only one month until my birthday” or even “Just another few weeks until my half birthday.” To see if the person chimes in, mentioning when his or her birthday is, too.
    • Try asking the person about their astrological sign. Say something like, “I’m an Aries, which means I’m pretty moody. What’s your sign again?”
  4. Look for their birthstone. Some girls like to wear jewelry with their birthstones on it; for example, Opal is the birthstone of October. If the girl is wearing some jewelry with a stone on it, you can say, “Is that your birthstone? What is that?” If it is the girl’s birthstone, she’ll tell you what it is, and then you’ll know the month when she was born. If it’s not, then she might give you a hint by saying, “No, this isn’t. My birthstone is emerald.”
  5. Ask a mutual friend or relative. If you and the person in question have any mutual friends, consider asking the friend to tell you the appropriate birthdate. If they don't know, ask the friend to find out for you. You don’t have to be coy about it. Just say that you genuinely forgot the person’s birthday and that you feel bad about it. You don’t need to be super sneaky to get an answer.

Looking Online

  1. Check the person's info on Facebook. The easiest way is to check to see if the person has listed their birthday on Facebook. If you have an account, you can log in, then type the name of the person you're looking for. When you get to their timeline, click on the info box below their profile picture.
    • If it's listed, the person's birthday should be under "basic info." Note that you may have to add the person as a friend for this to work.
    • Many people only list the date that they were born, though, instead of the year. If you're looking for the years as well, then this method may be less helpful.
  2. Do a little Facebook digging. Try scrolling down the person's timeline to see when there is an explosion of people saying "happy birthday!". If you find this somewhere on the person’s timeline, then chances are, this is the person's real birthday.
    • Look through the person's Facebook photos. See if you can find a photo of the person celebrating her birthday. Though this may not give you the exact date since not all photos are posted the day they were taken, it can give you a good ballpark idea.
  3. Use other social networking sites. If Facebook was a no go, then you may also like to look at other social networking sites or sites where the person keeps his or her information obvious, such as blogs or portfolios. Other social networking sites may list birthdays, and even if the person's birthday does not appear on the site, you may be able to figure it out by seeing other posts, Tweets, or photos. Check out the following to see if you have any luck:
  4. Use an online database. There are a number of databases out there that you can try for little to no fee. For these to work, you'll generally have to know the full name of the person you're searching and their approximate age. You may get a number of people with the same name and different addresses, so it can help to know where the person lives, especially if the person’s name is more common.
    • To begin, try Birth Database[1]or Zabasearch[2]. As long as you know the first and last name and the approximate age of the person, the site will usually be able to return a birthdate. However, they vary in their reliability.

Snooping Around

  1. Peek at a friend's calendar. Most people won't put their birthday on their own calendar, but it's more likely a friend might have it marked. Keep an eye on their calendar for things like "John's Birthday" or "Birthday party!"
  2. Check your phone for old “happy birthday” messages. If you knew the person during his or her last birthday, then there’s a pretty good chance that you sent the person a “happy birthday!” text message. Scroll through all of your messages with this person to see if you can find this exchange. If it’s there, then you’ll know the exact date of the person’s birth. Good job, you old sleuth!
    • Check their phone, too. If you want to look without offending the person, you can say, “Hey, can I see the calendar on your phone for a sec? I need to check up on something.”
  3. Look through your credit history. If you gave the person a birthday present the previous year, or took the person out to dinner, or paid for a gift with your credit card, then you can check your old bank statements to find the date that you did this. Though you’ll have to remember what you got the person or where you went to dinner, this can help you find the date.
    • Remember that you might not have bought the gift right on the person’s birthday and you might not have taken the person out exactly on his or her birthday, either. Still, this could get you close to that magic date.
  4. Have a background check performed. If you don't have all of the proper info after your own digging, you may elect to try a fee-based service and have a background check performed on the person. This could be something like publicbackgroundchecks[3], where you pay a small sum for a little bit of information.
    • Just make sure that the service is legitimate before you fork over any money. Consider whether or not this is a better option than just asking the person yourself.

Tips

  • Don't be embarrassed if you don't actually 'forget' their birthday, but simply remember it wrong. They will know you care about them, but you are just forgetful, when you pop up out of the blue and say 'Hey, ----, happy birthday!'
  • Keep an online diary. Note all birthdays and turn them into recurring reminder dates. You'll never forget their birthday again.
  • If you have a tablet, IPhone, or IPod Touch, use the calendar on it. If not, use the Google calendar. If not, use a digital calendar.
  • If you suppose forget their birthday, don't be sad or guilty that you forgot! What you do is just pop out and tell them in surprise that you acted like you really don't that persons birthday. It's a last minute excuse, which that person doesn't know!

Warnings

  • If you miss the birthday because you didn't find out, apologize with a gift and belated card and then write down the date for future reference. Don't be late the next year!

Things You'll Need

  • Calendar/diary
  • Online/digital/electronic calendar

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Sources and Citations